Tuesday 17 April 2012

5 Things I hate about the cinema

1. When you tell the dude you want medium popcorn, and he holds up a huge extra large bag and says it's only 40p (or cents) extra. You check the maths, and your appetite, and feel forced to oblige. But you know he's scamming you somehow. This is one of the great cinema mysteries.

2. The one hour staff walk-in. Halfway through the movie, a cinema worker has a break. Rather than go for a cigarette, they gatecrash your movie. You see them hovering at the back and it totally distracts you from the flick.

3. Audience dumbness. The audio is too low, or the frame has accidentally fallen so that Brad Pitt's face is being projected onto the first three rows, and the audience don't give a shit! They sit there gormlessly. WTF?

4. BlackBerry owners. FUCK YOU.

5. When you have a clear row fully to your left and right, and a clear view ahead, and then someone comes in after 7 minutes, cutting off the lower part of the frame because they sit in front of you with their weird fuzzy hair.

Care to share?


  1. Working at a movie theater, I feel I can share some thoughts on the matter.

    1. Employees are trained to do that. They have to or they get fired. It's the ole upsell.

    2. Not allowed. We usually write those employees up.

    3,4,5 - Customers suck. (It's also why I watch most of the movies when we're closed and all alone.)

    Seriously, not that I'm plugging it...which I guess I am, but check out my web series about working at a theater and dealing with customers here: http://is.gd/gfipxN

  2. The worst is when someone obstructs your view in a foreign film. Then you gotta keep moving your head just to read the subtitles.

  3. Great post I hate all those things too plus the gross smell of the food people eat and moronic commercials before the film.