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Wednesday, 18 July 2012

My Film Blog

It was a sudden idea. I was on the train, bored. I decided to start a film blog. A place where I could put my passions down on the page. It wouldn't be about me. It had nothing to do with advertising myself, or career advancement. It was just a place to scream about the things I love.

I needed a name for it. It came quickly to my mind; "KID IN THE FRONT ROW!". I loved it. Creativity is always a rush to me, never a slow burn. The idea hits immediately, and I have to act on it. If it's inspiration for a tweet, great! A thought lasts roughly as long as a tweet. But a feature film? The idea is a thunderbolt but the execution can't be done in one sitting. Anyway, the blog name came to me out of nowhere. But surely it was already being used? When I got home, I googled it, I looked around. It was a phrase that had seemingly never been used, even though surely it's a phrase that people use all the time?

It was Blogger or Wordpress. How to decide? I knew nothing, and went with Blogger, probably because I knew nothing. It's mostly been good to me, apart from the fact that the thing you type in the formatting box looks absolutely nothing like what ends up on the website. The hardest part about blogging is making the paragraphs not look like a car wreck.

Today I've been cleaning up old posts -- deleting links that don't work, videos that won't load, and getting rid of spam comments. Seeing all the comments from years gone by was like visiting old friends. Someone called Anna had left comments on 25 different posts -- yet when I clicked through to her link, it didn't exist anymore. Did she delete her blog? Is she still alive? Is she happy?

That's the weird thing about communities such as this. Some of you I see commenting nearly every day, but what do I know about you? And what do you know about me? I'm anonymous! We get so close yet somehow, keep a huge distance.

And I saw names in the comments of people who I've fallen out with. What did we argue about? I have no idea. Looking back, it seems ridiculous; how can anyone have a disagreement over a blog? Life happens here like it happens everywhere else. There are people who are jealous of my blog, and there are blogs I have been jealous of. There are friends I made who used to email and comment all the time; and now they're nowhere to be seen. Did they forget this place? Did I forget them, not give them the attention they deserved?

It's just a blog. Sometimes you feel like you're just writing to yourself. Other times you realise that people come here because it means something to them. That's a powerful thing, it's a responsibility. It's why I care so much. You realise after a while that your blog is as much about you as everything else you do.

I spent most of today checking out the websites and blogs of people who have left comments here over the past three and a half years. There have been over 5000 comments on this blog, so I couldn't get to them all. But 5000!? Wow. Isn't the internet fantastic? So much communication, so many ideas shared.


Looking back at my writing: some of it is inspired! Some of it I would happily delete. But it is what it is; and you just have to keep going and going and writing and writing, because that's what blogging is. Some of you are reading me right now for the first time, some for the hundredth. Some of you are regulars now but some day soon you might not be. I'd like you to stick around but it's out of my control. I'm just glad that, for whatever journey you're on right now; a part of it involves coming here. 

Care to share?

26 comments:

  1. Your very last line is exactly how I feel, it's a journey that brings people together and I appreciate that. Nicely written and reminiscent.

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  2. My experience has been much as yours. Just as in real life, blog life ebbs and flows, and peoples comes and goes.

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  3. Nicely said. Everything's a bit of a journey, even blogging.

    I look back at past posts of my own and there are plenty I could easily delete. But that feels like a bit of a cheat. A lie. You can't delete events in your life and I put the same emphasis on my blog. Weird huh?

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    1. Yeah, definitely, it's important to keep everything.

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  4. I had disappeared from life for a while and for me, the blog world was the place I found the easiest to return to. So I have started back from this, my safe place, because this anonymous world has given me the connection I am after but without the demands IRL. So for me, as it was in the very beginning of my blog life, it is a place for me to dip my toe back in to the world.

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    1. Glad you're coming back --- but don't forget about the real world out there too.

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  5. Loved this post. I've had many of the same thoughts about my blog. I don't have the ambition to go through and clean up my old posts, though.

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    1. I'm not sure it's ambition that makes me do that, maybe some form of OCD!

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  6. 5000 comments? Now I'm jealous.

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  7. Ah, a new look! And interesting backstory. :)

    Thanks for stopping by today, Kid. It's always good to hear from you. And you blog, well, always a joy to read. ;)

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  8. That was a nice read. Personally I prefer Wordpress because you can subscribe to comments. With all the movie blogs I'm reading I usually forget revisiting a blog just to check if the blogger replied to a comment I've made.

    Although I might not always comment I do read lots of stuff you write.

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  9. Great post Kid. I really enjoy reading your posts even if i don't have the time or feel compelled to comment. I suppose you can always refer to the blogger statistics section if you ever feel like your work might not be reaching its mark. I'm sure even the most obscure or personal of your posts get a few reads. Sounds selfish but it certainly makes me feel a little warm inside when I get even one hit or comment on my work. Speaking of which, your blog in particular has been a real source of inspiration to continue work on my own stuff even though i know i'll never become a professional, its nice to have an outlet, and more importantly (like you say) to feel part of a community.
    Best of luck moving towards your 10,000 comment mark.

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    1. People are lying if they say they don't care if anyone reads it or not, it's integral!

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  10. Yep, I'm one of those who come & go. And I'm so glad you're still here. I hate it when people disappear & have just today been looking for Shana Mlawski (http://www.overthinkingit.com/2008/08/18/why-strong-female-characters-are-bad-for-women/) who doesn't seem to be writing any more. Maybe she reads your blog though, Kid! Would love to hear from her, in the same way I love to hear from you! Hang in there!

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    1. I hope you find her! And thanks for sticking around :)

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  11. New page layout? :O
    I love it!
    I can't find the like button though.
    Be assured that I'm following every step you take :) although I may not always leave a trace of it.

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  12. I think you're one of my earliest commenters in my blog :) yes sometimes it felt like you're just writing for yourself (esp. early days of blogging) but once there are people who comment 'I feel the same way' and we're connected. It's a beautiful thing, to know somewhere out there people who have the same interest (not to mention they are very kind) exist. When you went to their blogs, it feels like you know them. Writing something meaningful to someone is one of the reasons why I blog. I hope one they I meet them all. Nice post as always!

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  13. Life has been getting pretty busy recently but when I get a minute to check out my favourite blogs I will always head to yours as I know there will be something here I want to read. Whether it is what gets you and others motivated, the music that appeals, the films that inspire you, there is always something that appeals. I'm already looking forward to many more posts from you.

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  14. Fantastic post :)

    "It's just a blog. Sometimes you feel like you're just writing to yourself. Other times you realise that people come here because it means something to them. That's a powerful thing, it's a responsibility. It's why I care so much. You realise after a while that your blog is as much about you as everything else you do."

    That is SO true. I completely identified.

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  15. Five days without a new post is unprecedented.
    Is everything all right?

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