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Monday, 6 February 2012

Film Pitching With My Friend Carl

EXT. LONDON - NIGHT
THE KID and CARL are walking through the snow covered city streets.

THE KID 
I have a film I really want to make. 

CARL
Go on. 

THE KID
It's like a typical rom-com. Ashton Kutcher and, uhh-- I dunno, who's a typical rom-com girl? Anna Faris?

CARL 
Who is that?

THE KID
How about -- um.... 

CARL 
Jenny.

THE KID
Jenny who?

CARL 
What are we talking about?

THE KID
My film idea. Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl. 

CARL 
Sounds like a good idea. 

THE KID 
I haven't given you the idea yet. 

CARL
Okay. 


THE KID 
It's a typical rom-com. Heigl works for a publisher in New York. Kutcher is in the music business. And Heigl is telling her friend about her dating woes. 

CARL 
What is the friend's name?

THE KID
Jenny.

CARL 
Great name. 

THE KID 
It's a typical rom-com, totally normal, set in New York, and Heigl is explaining her dating problems to Jenny. 

CARL 
Did she text you back?

THE KID
Who?

CARL
That girl.

THE KID
(agitated) 
I'm trying to tell you my film idea. 

CARL 
I thought you were finished. 

THE KID 
Totally normal rom-com. Broad comedy, blandly lit --- and then, 14 minutes in, the best friend ---

CARL
(cutting in)
Jenny.

THE KID
Gets kidnapped. There's a big struggle and she's kidnapped. And then it's not mentioned for the rest of the movie. 

CARL 
I like it. 

THE KID
The rom-com carries on as normal -- I mean, there was an unfortunate kidnapping, so Heigl loses her buddy, but it carries on as if nothing happened, never brought up again -- totally conventional rom-com, apart from the 14th minute. 

CARL 
Did she text you back?

THE KID
No. 

CARL 
Okay. 

THE KID 
OR----- normal rom-com, totally as expected -- and then 54 minutes in, Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl get kidnapped. So the story ends there. 

CARL 
And it cuts to credits? 

THE KID
No. We get thirty minutes of board meetings in the publishing house, and stuff happening at the record company.

CARL
Just everyday office stuff. 

THE KID
But with no lead characters -- just their workplaces, going about things without them. But the story ended--

CARL
On the 54th minute. 

THE KID 
Precisely. 

CARL 
Why didn't she text you back?

THE KID 
She never texts me back. 

CARL 
I think that means she likes you. 

THE KID 
When I pitch the film idea, I'll leave out the parts about the kidnapping. 

CARL 
It's snowing again.

THE KID
Oh is that what it is?

CARL 
Yes. 

Care to share?

4 comments:

  1. If this is an original transcript, it's pretty interesting. I'm sure it's not since it's written in script form and you went meta with the plot description and the speakers mirroring those actions.

    Describing the love interest to the friend, while you mention that conflict in the script,that was genius. It seemed like a very subtle way to see if the audience was paying attention. This was a great read.

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  2. I would totally pay money to see either of these movies.

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  3. Bruce - we had a conversation very similar to this - we're weirdos. Glad you liked it :)

    Dave - ha! Pay me to make them! :P

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  4. well very very nice dialogue. I like it.

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