We need to do something before it gets out of hand. Today I bought a large popcorn, and most of it ended up on my t-shirt. Worst of all; I have no idea how it happened.
When I buy a chocolate bar, or perhaps when I am munching on a chicken drumstick, I can always get the food in my mouth, no question. The popcorn however, always ends up on my clothing. It also finds its way onto the floor. How is this happening, and who is responsible?
On my next cinema visit I am considering pouring the entire bag of popcorn all over my body. Not because I have a bizarre fetish, but to see if any of it miraculously ends up in my mouth.
I am also disappointed with the fact that they sell the popcorn before the movie, knowing full well that it will all be gone before the trailers have finished. I think that they should withhold the popcorn until halfway through the movie, at which point they should deliver it to your seat (or pour it on the floor near you).
There also needs to be a regulation put in place regarding exactly how much popcorn you are expected to share with the girlfriend. It should perhaps be recommended that they buy their own popcorn, or if they must steal, it should be limited to two small handfuls, or simply that they are allowed the crumbly bits that have fallen onto their boyfriend's jeans.
An alternative to all of this is a complete ban on popcorn. This would mean less food in the cinema, but will possibly enable you to afford a new car.