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Tuesday, 1 May 2012

The Popcorn Situation

We need to do something before it gets out of hand. Today I bought a large popcorn, and most of it ended up on my t-shirt. Worst of all; I have no idea how it happened.

When I buy a chocolate bar, or perhaps when I am munching on a chicken drumstick, I can always get the food in my mouth, no question. The popcorn however, always ends up on my clothing. It also finds its way onto the floor. How is this happening, and who is responsible?

On my next cinema visit I am considering pouring the entire bag of popcorn all over my body. Not because I have a bizarre fetish, but to see if any of it miraculously ends up in my mouth.

I am also disappointed with the fact that they sell the popcorn before the movie, knowing full well that it will all be gone before the trailers have finished. I think that they should withhold the popcorn until halfway through the movie, at which point they should deliver it to your seat (or pour it on the floor near you).

There also needs to be a regulation put in place regarding exactly how much popcorn you are expected to share with the girlfriend. It should perhaps be recommended that they buy their own popcorn, or if they must steal, it should be limited to two small handfuls, or simply that they are allowed the crumbly bits that have fallen onto their boyfriend's jeans.

An alternative to all of this is a complete ban on popcorn. This would mean less food in the cinema, but will possibly enable you to afford a new car.

Care to share?

11 comments:

  1. Another alternative might be a bottomless bag. The all-you-can-eat kind, not the all-on-the-lap kind.

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  2. I don't know what to say but hysterical! So I do have someting to say. Movie are distracting, hence the misappropriated popcorn. Never put a restriction on popcorn for your woman...just sound and practical advice. Purchase a bigger bag ;-). Loved this!

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  3. I always opt not to buy popcorn. I'ts just too durn expensive.

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    Replies
    1. You can just pick up other people's from the floor!

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  4. My problem is coca-cola. The last movie I watched, I spilled this giant glass of coke and it flowed down about five rows of seats.

    I wanted to die in shame. Mostly, I wanted to slug the guy who sold me this paper glass that would slip out of my hand.

    As for popcorn - How can you even think of the word ban? HOW?

    Next time, use a spoon or something! I don't know. It hurts my heart that you'd think of suggesting that it be banned.

    The sell popcorn during the break sounds good to me. :)

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    Replies
    1. A spoon, yes! "I saw someone on the street eating M&M's with a spoon."-Seinfeld.

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  5. I knew I'd found the right man for me when I discovered he didn't like popcorn (all the more for me). There were other reasons that led me to this conclusion, but getting to keep all the popcorn for myself was a big help. I'm quite good now at making sure I eat most of it before the film starts, only crunch on it when the music is loud and if it catches in my throat I try and ensure I don't cough if it's a quiet bit. I don't mind it ending up all over the place, it's part of the cinema experience.

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  6. Hahahaha! Great post! Very funny :)

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