Saturday 22 October 2011

Emails From The Front Row

Here's an email I received. I have linked to the things that the writer quoted of mine. I had to share this because it made my heart get all excited and fulfilled and happy. 

Dear Kid,

I'm Val, one of the 2 film-makers cycling around the world - collecting, sharing and inspiring stories of people's dreams. My partner, Tay, wrote you a while back ("Shared Dreams"). I've been meaning to write you a personal note because something in your writing struck a chord so deep within, I am often left speechless and wouldn't know how to react, until at least a couple of days later.

Often I'd find myself spontaneously exclaiming to Tay, "You know what Kid said the other day? That Adventureland was a film that 'dared to be small...dared to have heart'. Doesn't that make your heart pound harder, knowing that our heartfelt works would matter to at least one more person - like him?" Tay would smile, and sometimes reply, "You realise this only now?"

I did. And it was only in the wee hours of last night when I was reading one of your entries, "When you allow yourself to be who you are", when I read and re-read what you wrote: 'Find a place; be it a physical place or a mental place inside yourself - and be who you are' ; that I realised that this is my place. I mean, Kid's blog is my playground to be me. Your matter-of-fact; sometimes even nonchalant prose, verse, scripts, outbursts...they all made me feel safe to be myself. More than that, they created and expanded a space for me to be myself. To be the actor I want to be.

On this journey, when things go crazy and "The Days Got Busy", I read about how you try to answer other people's interviews, how you, too, are only human, and I am reminded that 'everyone is learning how to get back to being who they are'; and I ground myself back to the center core of why I am even on this journey in the first place.

Almost everyone we meet on this journey have something to say about how we should be doing it, how we are not playing it big enough, how I should be enrolling into an acting school if acting is my dream etc etc etc. Sometimes, I say to them, "You know what? You're right." And they are left speechless. I felt like telling them, "You're right because we're not yet successful. We're working on it. And 'when we've mastered our work, mastered us, and showed everyone else who we (truly) are, you will see yourselves' us. And you will applaud us for Following Our Own Path."

Kid, I want to be a worldwide famous, internationally acclaimed actress. The kind that wins awards at Cannes and Oscars. I want to because I want as many people as possible to connect with themselves - by me being a mirror for their reflections, by my acting to struck hidden shords of songs tucked away in their hearts, in their bodies, in their beings.

I'm Asian, I'm small (barely 1.5m), I'm turning 27 this year yet I permanently look 15. And I never thought any of the above would be vaguely possible, I never had the guts to share any of this anywhere, until I read 'If you follow your vision, believe in it, and do it, who knows.. you might just end up with an academy award, and if you don't - at least you'll have been among the very few who had the tenacity to try.'

Until I realised that there are people like you out there, when watching films like Adventureland, notice. You notice that 'Watching Eisenberg and Stewart in this movie; we get to really see the characters, we get to really feel something real; and as a result, we get to see ourselves.' That is so precious.

The short film, "LISTEN" that Tay shared with you was a birthday present from both of us to me last year. This year, other than embarking on another short on this journey, I am also gifting myself this note to you. I figured, if it's films that tell a good story, films that provides mirrors for being to reflect on, films made with heart, with art, that I want to act in, it only make sense for me to connect with film-makers who want the same thing and ask them for opportunities.

Kid, you begin your blog with, 'When I watch a film the main thing I am looking for is a good story. I like it when I look up at the big screen and can see a part of me staring back at me.' I would like to be the actor on that screen who gives you a wink right at that moment when you discover who it is that you are really watching.

"I have a dream -
to show the world the beautiful colors of emotions on the big movie screen of life."


Care to share?

1 comment:

  1. Thank you, for taking time to read and honour my truth. Thank you, for giving your heart permission to feel my writing. Thank you, for allowing your soul to be moved - simply because.

    Keep writing Kid, we are all watching ourselves through you :)