You talkin' to me?

It really bugs me when my friends tell me I watch too many movies! My friend Tim actually thinks I'm getting badly influenced by gangster/cop movies, which is RIDICULOUS! Here's a conversation I had with him yesterday. 

TIM
You've been watching too many gangster movies recently.

THE KID 
Shut the fuck up you punk ass motherfucker. 

TIM 
That's my point.

THE KID 
What?

TIM 
You're watching too many. You need to get out more. You're obsessed.

THE KID
Tim, I don't know what you're talking about. 

TIM 
Seriously, you are! I was talking to Stephanie the other day and---

THE KID 
She ratted on me? She fucking ratted on me? 

TIM
Ratted on you?

THE KID
She don't know who she's dealing with. 

TIM
Um, okay? 

THE KID
What?

TIM 
Do you not realize how you're speaking?

THE KID
I'm just speaking normally. 

TIM 
Well no, you're not. 

THE KID 
Why are you talking to me like that?

TIM
I'm concerned about you.

THE KID
You're looking out for me, I respect that. Thing you gotta know brother; is there are two types of people in this world. And one day you've got to wake up and decide who you are, whether you're gonna live or die. 

TIM
What are you talking about?

THE KID
Who you working for?

TIM 
You're sounding schizophrenic.

THE KID 
WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR? Tell me or I'll----

TIM 
Why are you pointing a banana at my head?

THE KID 
Yeah yeah you just keep laughing. I'll be back, motherfucker. 

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A Stat

I started this blog 3 years, 2 months, and 12 days ago. 

That's 1169 days. 

In that time I have written 953 blog posts. 

I don't know what I think of that. I just wanted to share!

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A Short Screenplay Inspired by KITFR Readers!

A couple of days ago I asked for your suggestions in the following criteria:

A character name: 

A location: 

A conflict: 

An object: 

A long, hard to pronounce word: 

And then I promised to make up a short screenplay on the spot, based on whatever you give me. I did this knowing that in all likelyhood the screenplay would be terrible and convince you all I can't write for shit. But then again, who cares! It seemed like a fun idea. Here were your ideas: 

STEVE SPATUCCI:

A character name: Maya
A location: an abandoned amusement park
A conflict: she gets in a fight with her best friend as they're exploring
An object: a custodian's key ring
A hard to pronounce word: Yreka Zzyzx

ANONYMOUS: 

A character name: Chris P. Duck
A location: The long flat moving walkway that takes you between gates at an airport.
A conflict: Chris has dropped his passport on to the walkway travelling in the opposite direction.
An object: The passport (and boarding pass).
A hard to pronounce word: "Acesulfame K" (it's in the ingredients list on the drink I am currently enjoying).
HAPPY FROG: 

A character name: Zed.
A location: Nature reserve as storm clouds threaten.
A conflict: Zed sees something unusual he can't quite make out in the lake.
An object: A mobile phone with low battery power.
A hard to pronounce word: Paraprosdokians
AINHOA:
A character name: Claude
A location: A photobooth at a subway station
A conflict: Claude keeps on taking pictures although there is a long queue outside the booth.
An object: A bleach bottle.
A hard to pronounce word: Paralipomena.

Read the script HERE!

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JOHN MAYER "Born and Raised" Album Review

"Don’t be scared to walk alone 

Don’t be scared to like it 

There’s no time that you must be home 

So sleep where darkness falls" 

-Mayer

 John Mayer miraculously managed the rare feat of courting the mainstream, yet staying true to himself. The country-tinged sounds of his latest album 'Born and Raised' wouldn't have been the idea of Columbia Records, but it's where he wanted to go; just like when he formed the 'John Mayer Trio' for some more bluesy fare.

This isn't John Mayer's best album. Half of it is mediocrity. But that happens - nobody can be great all the time. Rembrandt produced nearly 700 paintings, Shakespeare wrote 154 sonnets, they're not all genius.

But what Mayer never fails to deliver is those little, understated moments that you can't help but relate to. A little turn of phrase, a little pluck of the guitar; there's no-one like it. That's MASTERY! He toured the shit out of his early records; and those hours that new artists spend whoring themselves out on Facebook pages, he spent practicing guitar. That's why he deleted his Twitter account; it was a distraction from his art.

The highlight for me is 'Something Like Olivia' -- a wonderful track about finding the perfect woman who's exactly what you need; but she's caught up in another relationship.

"There's only one man in this world

Who gets to sleep with her by his side.

I'm thinking something like Olivia

Could keep me through the night."

And 'Speak For Me' is another great track. I don't know what it means yet, I'm still figuring it out. Same goes for 'Walt Grace's Submarine Test, January 1967', which may be great, I'm not sure; it's too early to tell.

This guy's voice is incredible. The legend is that Mayer's a complete asshole. The music suggests the exact opposite. My opinion? He's both. Just like all of us.

PS: As I was writing this, I played the album again -- and feel my 'Half of it is mediocrity' comment may be a tad harsh. This record is a grower! 

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The Random Screenplay

I'm going to write a short screenplay, just for you guys, based on your suggestions!

Please suggest;

A character name: 

A location: 

A conflict: 

An object: 

A long, hard to pronounce word: 

And at some point tonight, or tomorrow morning, I will close comments; and write a little screenplay based on your ideas, and then share it on the blog!

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