Sunday 4 March 2012

THE WOMAN IN BLACK Script Pitch Meeting

The WOMEN IN BLACK pitch meeting.



WRITER
I have an idea.

EXEC
Fire away.

WRITER
A man walks around a haunted house.

EXEC
Okay...

WRITER
What do you think?

EXEC
I like it. Carry on.

WRITER
What do you mean?

EXEC
Continue your pitch.

WRITER
That's it. A man walks around a haunted house.

EXEC
Will anything else happen?

WRITER
No.

EXEC
You want us to make a piece of pointless garbage?

WRITER
How is that different to usual?

EXEC
We cover it up by attaching stars.

WRITER
You could use the Harry Potter guy.

EXEC
He's about 15.

WRITER
We can make him look a little bit older.

EXEC
How?

WRITER
Give him a tiny bit of facial hair.

EXEC
I'm not sure he's capable of that. I'll call the special effects guys.

WRITER
We could also give him a kid.

EXEC
I'd rather just pay him money like usual.

WRITER
I mean his character could have a kid, it will make him seem older.

EXEC
This totally changes your idea.

WRITER
How's this: a manboy has a child. He goes to a haunted house and walks around for a while. The End.

EXEC
I'm greenlighting this. 

PLEASE NOTE: This dialogue is of course fictional, and the film is actually an adaptation of a book, where I assume a character who looked a lot like Harry Potter walked around a haunted house for 300 pages or so and then it ended.

Care to share?

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