1. Don't make the movie.
2. Don't look at the finances.
3. Take drugs.*
4. Avoid all contact with all people (including and especially yourself)
5. Don't make the movie.
6. When addressing cast, crew, and the producer; reply to all questions by saying "do whatever you want" and then take the pretty production assistant to a beach resort until the film gets shut down.
7. Care less.
8. Remember that if you do a bad job and totally ruin everything, it makes major distribution and success even more likely.
9. Re-write the script and shoot it all in one day, in one location, using an iPhone. Watch it unfold at home on Skype (I hear Spielberg directs in this way).
10. If an actor starts being difficult during rehearsals, change all of their dialogue to Urdu (yet print the script in Latin, and hire them a Portugese dialect coach)
*I do not promote the taking of drugs. But check back with me when you're in post-production.