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Saturday, 12 June 2010

Film Career FAQ.

Last month, I wrote a list of questions (with some help from you guys) that keep popping up from friends/family/locals passing by/strangers/internet people/career advisors/teachers/pets/priests. All of these people, in fact nearly everyone you meet, happens to have many fascinating questions to ask about what we do for a living. It's very nice of them to show so much interest. Of course, as we're quite busy acting/directing/writing, etc-- we often don't find the time to work on the correct answers. I've put some answers together, that you can refer back to whenever you need.

So what do you do exactly?

I work hard every single day to follow my dreams, to develop myself to be the very best I can be. What do you do?

Are you sure you are what the industry is looking for?

No, that's what's so exciting about it! I have no idea!

Did you hear about that guy who made a film for $1 and got into Cannes? Have you thought of doing that?

I heard about it, that's amazing. There's also a guy who made a film for $50million and didn't get into Cannes, I'd like to do that as well!

Any progress with your films yet?

Every day I'm progressing, even on the days it's going horribly wrong! I had no idea you were interested in progress-- what can you teach me about it?

Are you famous yet?

I hope not!

Why are you still working here?

It's helping me support the career that I am so outrageously, crazily, obsessively in love with. Is that why you're still here too?

Do you want to hear my idea about a a Sci-Fi film about the devil and death and life and vampires and good versus evil where the devil plays chess and did you know my idea is totally amazing and original?

Sure! Write out a full treatment and email it to me, great.

Are you talented enough?


It's been a year already and you're not famous yet, shouldn't you consider a career change?

You're so good at these questions, maybe you could be a journalist!

Oh you're an actor? I know a girl who is an actor and she's only been able to get a Herpes commercial so far?

Cool. At least she didn't get Herpes.

You do know that hundreds of women try out for those parts, right?

Oh no, really!? I thought it was just me! Now I know those rejections aren't so personal!

Have you ever thought about making a film that people actually want to watch?

You mean, like a Transformers movie? I'll give it a go, if you want.

Have I seen you in anything?

I've been fortunate enough so far to do great work that hasn't been big, international stuff. I'm worried that one day I might be 'a star', then I'd have to deal with all the stuff that comes with it!

You know that EVERYONE wants to direct features, right?

Wow, I didn't know. But that's great! Maybe they'll start making much better films than we have at the moment.

Are you still trying to make films?

I like that you use the word trying. I always forget how much I try. What a great quality! Thank you for reminding me, that was really kind of you.

And how old are you again?

I'm [age]. And judging by your question, you're 96.

Why don't you get a real job?

Let me tell you a secret. This job is the greatest thing in the world. Whether it's real or not, I don't know. I mean, you seem to know. But even if it's not real, it's still the greatest in the world!

Are you rich yet?

I met five wonderful actors last week. I worked with a truly inspirational production designer the week before, and yesterday I spent the evening watching a life-altering play. So, yes, I am very rich, in many wonderful ways!!

[To an actor] So that means you make a living at lying, right?

Whatever my answer, how do you know I'm telling the truth?

Care to share?


  1. :D this made me happy inside, just know that.

  2. LOVE this. Especially the answer you picked for my "lying" question. Great retort! :)

  3. You're just awesome all over. You've got what it takes to keep going...a positive attitude. I just love it! Maybe someday we can work together on a project?