Insomnia: A Curse or a Privilege?

A few days ago, at 5am, I wrote the post 'Off We Went'. It proceeded a restless night where I couldn't sleep, and couldn't focus my thoughts.

When I tell people I can't sleep, they often make the assumption, "too many thoughts running through your head?' They're right, but it's not worry or anxiety, at least not usually, and it's not creative thoughts either.

Yet it is definitely linked to my creativity. I am very proud of 'Off We Went'. It was written in about five minutes, an instant stream of writing after hours of not sleeping. It's not based on a real experience. It's a story about two people leaving their city surroundings and heading to the British countryside. In truth, I'm not sure I've seen a tree all year. So the story is fictional, and it came from nowhere.

But it wouldn't have been written if I'd fallen asleep. Was I awake because I needed to process that particular idea? Sounds like an over-romanticized thought, I agree; would the brain really keep me up all night to write a fictional piece about British mountains?

Side note: I like the piece but the lack of comments would suggest it didn't connect with my readers. It feels all the more humbling to think that your brain can keep you up a whole night only to provide an idea that isn't very good.

My brain at night is crazy. Chaos. Flies off in different directions... Hunts down things of interest, scripts to write, women to think of, places to go--- but none of them hold, I keep on zipping by---- and then sometimes I land on a thing. A place that gives me a feeling, which becomes the seed of a creative idea. But not always. Sometimes I just don't sleep and the next day I suffer from tiredness and grumpiness.

Should I medicate? I don't think so. I could lose so much. Or I could do it the healthier way, meditate and listen to raindrops, but is that really what I need? Sure, I can be creative in the middle of the day but I'm telling you, the night is unique, the texture of your thoughts and ideas are different.

It's 3.16am

Is it a curse or privilege? I realise it's a bit egotistical to suggest it's a privilege, my late night blogs aren't going to gain me a knighthood from the Queen. But maybe the ideas that reach me at 5.34am are sometimes worthwhile, and people connect to them. That makes it worth it, somehow, although it's hard to feel that when I have to be up at 7.30am.

What is happening when your brain is firing so many seemingly random thoughts through your mind? It's as if the neurons in my brain have awoken and are desperate to make new connections and jolt down new pathways. At least, it's exciting to think of it that way. Kind of takes the pressure off me in terms of creativity. I don't have to force ideas, my brain will just deliver them to me at night after a few hours of random brain activity. A nice thought which I've cobbled together with made up neuroscience. Maybe there's some truth in it.

Or maybe I need to stop writing to you in the middle of the night.

Care to share?

Tweet

The Genius of TOM PETTY

Tom Petty stands for everything I believe in, creatively and artistically. The man and his music exude integrity and honesty. He's an artist who has improved as he's aged. He doesn't have big hits like he used to, but that's not important. The industry cares about hit records, the great artists care about their art.

What we really want, when we listen to a record, is to connect. I get that on a song-to-song basis more with Petty than I do with any other artist (possibly shared with Bruce Springsteen). I obsessively listen to his live recordings. The version below of 'Learning To Fly' is one of my favourite songs of all time. I listen to it on a daily basis. I know every single moment of it inside out.

I guess that's why it's a little heartbreaking that Tom Petty is in London this week doing two shows at the Royal Albert Hall, because it's sold out --- and I don't have tickets. I'm angry at myself for missing the opportunity to get tickets before they sold out. How is it than an artist who lives in my headphones EVERY DAY, can be playing at the glorious Royal Albert Hall and I don't have a ticket? Life is cruel!

What makes Petty masterful, is his subtlety. That's why I got obsessed with his song 'Something Good Coming'. It's the type of song that a new artist couldn't create, because there's just too much wisdom and experience in there. That's why Petty has got better as he's gotten older. People get weaker when they chase the big hits, chase the glory days; but all Petty chases is expertise, and we love him for it. 

“Music is probably the only real magic I have encountered in my life. There’s not some trick involved with it. It’s pure and it’s real. It moves, it heals, it communicates and does all these incredible things. It’s been so good to me that I want to be good to it. I want to make music that’s worth making.”

-From a recent interview in The Daily Telegraph. 

Care to share?

Tweet

SCREENWRITING PROGRAM: Chad Brown - How To Kill Yourself Like A Man

It's a common thing to knock people for working in jobs that kill creativity and passion. But sometimes, that's what you NEED! Take, for example, CHAD BROWN, from Studio City, California. "After 12 years in corporate America, I've finally found the chutzpa to pursue a long neglected passion in writing." Chad was a joy to collaborate with, because he was so engaged in what he was doing.

He made every amateur mistake in the book. Wrote 30 pages when we needed 15. He got lost and confused and drowned in his story. He struggled to to figure out the plot, and had 50 ideas when he needed one strong one. 

But credit to Chad, he made it work. He referred to himself initially as 'amateur', but his work ethic, ability to edit his own material, and the creativity that flowed during the week, showed him to be anything but. Maybe those years in corporate America helped him after all.

Tell me a little bit about where you were at before the program, as a writer.... ?

Before last week I had not completed a full screenplay (short or feature length).  Truth is, I had just recently discovering that I AM A WRITER (caps used for self validation purposes).  For the past 12 years I have worked in finance.  I never thought of my job as a "writing gig", but I've certainly done my share of technical writing over the years. However, from a creative standpoint, I had only begun to draft a few passion pieces.  I was grinding out pages in a vacuum trying to learn more about the craft and tools of the trade. Immediately prior to last week, I was stuck. I had ideas (didn't know if they were any good). I had drive (but no training). I had the beginnings of stories (but I was stuck).  I found the KITFR program late one night searching the web for inspiration, education and/or collaboration - and got all three. 

Did you find the program helpful, and if so, how? 

This was immensely helpful to me.  As I said, I was stuck. The program got me writing.  I wanted to write.  I wanted to write BAD. But I needed a nudge, some accountability.  Someone that would call me out if I didn't get it done. I'm used to deadlines and I perform better with a little pressure. This got my adrenaline pumping.  I went from idea to first draft in the first two days! 17 pages.  I had never done anything like that before. It was cathartic. 

You wrote a lot of pages --- there were a lot of different drafts in the week. At one point I think you were close to 30 pages? 

Yes.  I'm a little embarrassed about this since it screams "amateur", but that shoe fits me right now.  I wrote this piece stream of consciousness, or as I should call it "made the sh*t up as I went along" :).  And that's what I'm trying to change.  I want to outline, develop my story. I want my characters, conflicts, climaxes and resolutions laid out before me so all I have to do is craft characters and forward motion scenes.  I'm not there yet.  So, I write ALOT and then I'm forced to edit mercilessly. Like the adage says, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" and I almost did.  Up until the eleventh hour, I was still several pages long. I want to be a professional and I don't think pros do that.

At times I must admit, I found it hard to help you -- this is actually not something I've done a lot of; helping writers in very specific ways on their own scripts. Was my input always helpful, or did it distract you creatively?

Kid your input was sublime and inspired.  The first two notes you sent me proved to be exactly what I needed (for this and every other story I will write).  You told me 1) make it human and 2) simplify.  I got up to 30 pages because I wrote entirely too many ideas into my first, second and third drafts (and I tend to get WAY too descriptive - but we'll talk about that later).  Again, amateur mistake.  If an assignment calls for 15 pages, I need to know the pace and beat of 15 pages.  How it feels.  So I can write a story that fits the medium.  I began the week by just writing and ended up with a feature trying to masquerade as a short.  I needed to simplify.  Also, in my first draft, my hero was "unrelatable". He still needs work, but your note made me address his humanity and I got to know him better as well.  I feel like I could expand even further on his character in a feature now.   

At what points during the week did you feel stuck, and at what points did you feel the juice was really flowing?

My juices REALLY flowed at the beginning (Sun-Wed) and the end (Sun).  Thurs - Sat were tough.  That's when I found myself getting stuck.  I had become attached to a story and character arc that couldn't possibly be culminated in 15 pages.  So, my dilemma was to choose between starting from scratch or clear-cutting scenes.  I chose a combination of both. I adjusted my premise, removed (and added) scenes and tried to simplify the overall story.  I hope I accomplished that.

How was the process of editing your script, of cutting it down to 15 pages? 

I've never had to cut off one of my own limbs, but i imagine it feels similar.  I agonized over where to take (and not take) the story once it became clear that I couldn't get to the mark through technical edits only.  At the end I ended up dropping several themes that were present in earlier drafts, but I made 15! (Woo-hoo!)

Did you learn anything about yourself as a writer during this week?

ALOT.  I learned that writing is absolutely what I'm meant to do.  I learned that I have weakness, but most importantly, I have strengths.  I learned that I am not alone.  I learned that I have ALOT of learning to do (excited about that).  I learned to utilize readers and others who don't reside in my head. I learned that a writer writes and writes and writes...

Thank you Kid and everyone involved.  This experience has been priceless to me and it didn't cost a thing!!

Read his screenplay 'How To Kill Yourself Like A Man' by clicking HERE.

Follow Chad on Twitter.

Care to share?

Tweet

SCREENWRITING PROGRAM: Cheryl Beadling - 'Top Dog, Whisperer'

"I'm in a rut. I'm a college student majoring in cinema. I've found myself studying and analyzing film more than trying to write them. I mean don't get me wrong, I've found a new passion and fervor for film analysis, but I miss the satisfaction of writing Fade Out. I'm hoping that this will get me jump started into writing again." I think that CHERYL BEADLING's reasons for joining the screenwriting program were things that a lot of writers -of all levels- can relate to, which is why I was so interested in working with her.

Cheryl was the least communicative of all the writers. Her instinct was to go it alone. Whether this was the right decision, it's hard to know. When it got to Friday, two days before the deadline, she hit a brick wall and couldn't find clarity on her idea. This led her to switch paths and write a completely different story. Which story was she meant to tell? I guess we'll never know. I sense that Cheryl wasn't looking for collaboration, but just for somebody to give her a deadline. Either way, a script got written, and that is why we are here!

You hit a dead end towards the end of that week. How did it feel, can you describe it for us?

I hit a brick wall on Friday, and I hit it hard. Honestly, it sucked. I had a bit of an inkling that I would get stuck on my story, but I really hoped that it wouldn't happen. I found myself sitting at my local Panera Bread struggling to get pages out. I ultimately didn't know what my character's goal was, and what his end game was. Although I got most of the story down, there was nothing it led up to. I was writing for an ending where I didn't know what was going to happen. I think I hoped that as I wrote, the ending would come to me, but it didn't.

After your dead end; inspiration struck; what happened? 

The inspiration for the second story ultimately came from my friends. Some friends and I meet up once a week for a writers group to workshop our ideas for scripts or pages of our scripts. It's a great way to get other people's feedback and ideas, and truly helped me this time around. At first I asked them to help me come up with a way to murder the main character's dog, but that jumped to the dog was already dead, to the dog was murdered by the main character's girlfriend, to this ghost dog solves crimes, to this man is now a dog whisperer. (Sometimes I don't understand how our conversations get to the points they do.) 

Did the energy of this idea feel different to your original concept? Can you describe the difference?

After brainstorming with the group I felt inspired to write the dog whisperer story. They ultimately helped me narrow it down to the idea that if Cesar Milan had a little brother, who was also a dog whisperer, what would Thanksgiving dinner be like at their house? I felt like I was in a rut with the first story, but this one fueled me to continue writing. I marinated on it for a day, and came up with an outline Saturday, then wrote all Sunday. I had been sitting on the other story for a while, and I think the main reason why I hadn't attempted to write it yet was because it was hard trying to determine what the character's goal was. It was an interesting premise and a funny concept, but that didn't translate to being an actual story. 

In terms of brainstorming with your with friends --- what did you do and how did it help?

I came to them looking for inspiration on how to kill off the dog, but they pulled me in another direction, which I think was good for me. I lost that fire to write, and brainstorming with them helped to push me through the next couple of days. I wrote down all of their suggestions and then focused on the dog whisperer. They helped me come up with ideas for the plot turns and gags. I then thought about it all for a night and came up with the outline of the story. The outline for this story came a lot quicker than the previous. 

Did you enjoy being part of the KITFR screenwriting program? What did you get from it?

I greatly enjoyed being a part of the KITFR screenwriting program, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to participate. This was the first complete script that I have written in a while and I feel a new inspiration to start writing again. Because of the deadline, I had to force myself to finish the story, which is something I seemed to have lacked previously. I would start scripts, but ultimately would fall short in finishing them. This week made me push and produce something. Now, I plan to give myself personal deadlines for writing. I try to write each day, but I need to have a specific date in order to help push for my goal of a finished script.

You can read Cheryl's screenplay 'Top Dog, Whisperer' by clicking HERE. 

Care to share?

Tweet

SCREENWRITING PROGRAM: Kim Nunley - 'Tuesday Sunrise'

KIM NUNLEY is a screenwriter living in Oakland, California. She is an accomplished writer whose material has been in heaps of screenwriting festivals and she won the 'Outstanding Nor Cal Comedy Short' at the 2012 Sacramento International Film Festival.

Kim's reason for applying was also one of the key reasons I started this program. Writing is hard work, and it's lonely. Here's what Kim wrote when she applied, "The honest reason I’d love to be chosen to participate in your one-week screenwriting program is that I am DYING for feedback and mentorship. I am a dedicated writer who starts every day with my writing work. However, I sit alone everyday in my office and put in my work without really getting the feedback necessary to know if what I’m creating is of any quality. I am constantly striving to get better and would love to get your help."

When a writer can help another writer, even in a simple way, it's a great thing - and something we should all strive to do more of. Read below to find out about Kim's experience on the KITFR Screenwriting Program.

I enjoyed working with you. You were happy to go away and do your thing and to check in with me when you'd completed drafts. How was it for you?

The process was perfect. I like the challenge of figuring out most things myself. Working to find solutions on my own has been one of the reasons I’ve developed into a better writer over the years. So, whenever I struggled throughout the week, instead of immediately turning to you for guidance, I kept tinkering away on my own. Knowing I had you there in case I did need someone’s assistance was comforting, and it was extremely helpful to have you there expecting to hear about my progress and to provide notes as I was finishing up the script.

 
Did having the one week deadline help you?

 
Every year I challenge myself to have a new feature script ready for Nicholl Fellowships because it’s that submission deadline that forces me to hunker down and finish a project. So, in response to your question, having the one week deadline absolutely helped. There was no getting around that I was going to have a short script completed by the end of the week. Excuses weren’t an option. No way was I going to let you or your readers down when we had agreed on a set deadline.

 
You're an experienced writer, you've been doing this a while --- how was this week different? Did you learn anything about yourself as a writer?

 
No matter the number of years I’ve been writing, it’s always a challenge to start and finish a new project. Though it’s never a calming situation to be in, I typically do thrive in a tight deadline situation. I don’t work under these conditions all the time, so this week definitely required that I remain focused and disciplined. Going through this week-long screenwriting program and successfully completing the script helped build my confidence of being able to produce under pressure.

 
How was my input for you, was it helpful?

 
Sometimes after spending hours and hours alone, drowned in the work of one particular story, I start to lose the ability of being objective. Your feedback and assistance was very helpful because it pointed out both areas that I was somewhat already concerned with, and other areas that I hadn’t realized needed work. Plus, it was awesome to receive positive notes on what you did like and what did work for you, so I knew where I was on the right track.

 
What I said to most of the writers at one point or another, was that they should simplify things -- have one idea and go with it. That's definitely something you were doing here with your writing. You had one solid concept, and the jokes and characters grew out of that. Did that structure come easily or did you need to work at it? 

 
As simple as my story concept is, I did have to put in a good amount of work on the structure. There isn’t much complexity to the story, but it took some effort to keep it moving. I always try to be aware of the pacing of the stories I write. I knew in this one that I wanted it to ease in slowly as we’re introduced to Dennis, our protagonist, and then pick up in pacing as he starts to have fun and get a little crazy. I wanted the tempo of the script to coincide with the energy of Dennis’ journey.

 
What are your plans with this script? 

Nothing is set just yet. As of now, I’m just happy to have another completed short under my belt. If anyone’s interested in producing it, please let me know!

You can read Kim's short screenplay HERE. 

Follow her on Twitter, @KimNunley and check out her website. 

Care to share?

Tweet