Saturday 3 July 2010

Advice, Instinct & Penguins - Reconnecting with who I am.

“When I get logical, and I don't trust my instincts - that's when I get in trouble.”
-Angelina Jolie

Advice is a dangerous thing. I say this, having spent most of the last year writing this blog, which; by and large, is a place where I give advice. That's kind of the reason I stopped. Advice can be great, and motivational - but also, it can be a huge problem. When you give advice, you are stating your belief systems, you are claiming to know how the world works.

When a successful writer says "you need to be disciplined," a less successful writer is likely to listen. That less successful writer might thrive on chaos and spontaneity. They'll spend the next five years battling that, because they look up to the successful writer. Likewise, a young film director might be about to make a feature film in his house with his friends which could be the next 'Paranormal Activity', but then he reads an article on the internet by a successful producer who says "you're wasting your time if you make a film for less than a million dollars, and nobody wants to see another horror film set in a house." So it doesn't get made.

I really liked Dawson's Creek. Loved it. Still watch it to this day. But there's a big part of me that says "dude, you're lame, stop watching that cheesy shit!" I get annoyed at myself for watching it. Why? The stigma of watching it is based on the notion that it's too cheesy, too soap operatic, too predictable, too touchy feely, not edgy enough. So then I spend months annoyed at myself for watching cheesy bullshit that nobody else relates to; and I keep trying to watch the things people recommend to me, and in the process, get further and further away from the show that resonated with me. Why do I do this? Because of values held by other people.

When I look at me as a writer, and a director; do I want to be influenced by the things that truly resonate with me or do I want to be influenced by the things I've learned to love because filmmaker's, critics and society think they are the right choices? When I look at my biggest influences; Charlie Chaplin, Billy Wilder, Bruce Springsteen and Woody Allen - I see people who were ruthless at following their own instincts and beliefs.

I can do one of two things. I can follow my heart and follow my deeply held interests and passions (after-all, those were the things that got me interested in this line of work), or I can learn what is marketable and what isn't, I can write based on a 22 step procedure I was told about and I can listen to the research that says nobody will want to see my film about a bunch of penguins who take over the Vatican.

In case there's any mystery here, I am going for the first option. I have spent recent times completely and utterly reconnecting with all the things that excite and inspire me. Be they Dawson's Creek, Nora Ephron flicks or Tom Hanks movies from the eighties. What is important to me is to do what feels right, and feels important, to me. Cowering in the corner with my passion for Bruce Springsteen music and my love for films with Jack Lemmon standing around awkwardly and Jimmy Stewart winning a girl over isn't good enough. Those passions shouldn't be hidden or oppressed. Ever.

Advice, if it is useful to you, is great. But I think advice should make you feel warm and supported. If someone says "You will never be cast in a leading role" or "You're more of a sitcom writer than a feature film writer," you should only accept the advice if you believe it, if it speaks to the very essence of who you are and what you believe. And, of course; the same goes for everything I'm saying here. If believing in what I'm saying means you're going to feel conflicted or oppressed or polarized in any way, then my advice is not for you.

The only way I am ever going to be happy is to be creative on my terms. To write what I want to write, and then do everything in my power to make it happen. The more I celebrate my uniqueness, my passion, my influences, and my beliefs, the better I am going to do and the more likely audiences will respond to it. If they can re-boot Spiderman, I can reboot myself; and it's starting today.

What this means for this blog, I don't know. I have a big edge against me spouting off advice on how to write or direct or even how to make a good tea, because it's so subjective. I would hate to harm anyone's creativity or beliefs. So right now, I'm searching for some new paradigm, some new way of being useful and relevant. I am doing this whilst gearing up to direct a feature film later this year; so I am not sure how often I'll be blogging in the near future.

Did that make any sense?

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Thursday 1 July 2010

RIP Elliott Kastner - You Will Be Missed.

Elliott Kastner was awesome. I got to meet him once; and it was only ten months ago. I had a meeting set up with a producer who had discovered my work, enjoyed it, and invited me to his office for a chat. That same day, he was meeting with Elliott. And luckily for me, he introduced us.

I was prepared to do my quiet-shy-anti-networking-thing of saying "Hi" awkwardly, before shuffling off - but Mark, the producer I was meeting with - went on to tell Elliott all about my work and what I'd been up to. "Well sit down," said Kastner enthusiastically. And then he dropped the question; "what are you working on?". He said it in a professional way; which was kind and welcoming but also, kind of fierce and challenging. I sat there, frozen. Fuck, I'm so crap at this stuff. I eventually rambled a bit about what I do. The voice in my head was reminding me of his incredible experience and filmography, making me feel more and more inferior by the second.

But the great thing about Kastner was how enthusiastic he was. He managed to veer from me, to Mark, to his ideas, to tales from his producing career; and did it in a way that was extremely natural - and extremely riveting. I briefly mentioned a film idea I'd been working on. He listened, he said "that's interesting," (it wasn't, I will ill-prepared), and then he said "You know, I've always wanted to do a film, where Tom Hanks and Johnny Depp meet at a Dental convention in Las Vegas. That would be interesting." He went on to share some humorous thoughts and ideas. I liked them all. "If you write something like that, I could do something with it," he said.

Before I had a chance to process the thought; he and Mark were bantering back and forth, and I was completely in awe of Kastner. Film Producers come in all shapes and sizes, but Elliott really looked and sounded like a film producer. He was approaching 80 at the time, but was still incredibly energetic and enthused.

I wish I could remember the exact content of the things we talked about, but I don't. I do remember him sharing a very funny and fascinating story about Peter Sellers. I would write out the story, but it wouldn't do it justice. It wouldn't have the Kastner touch. I don't know what the Kastner touch is, after all, I only met the man once. But seeing what people have been writing about him today, it seems that his touch was something that inspired a lot of people. He will be missed.

Elliott Kastner died on June 30th, aged 80, after a long fight with cancer. He produced "Where Eagles Dare," "Angel Heart," "The Big Sleep," and countless others. Stealing shamelessly from Wikipedia, here's some names he worked with: Paul Newman; Frank Sinatra; Elizabeth Taylor; Warren Beatty; Clint Eastwood; James Mason; Michael Caine; Peter Sellers; Robert Shaw; Pierce Brosnan; Jack Nicholson; Robert de Niro; Mickey Rourke and Jeff Bridges.

Elliott Kastner on Wikipedia
Elliott Kastner on IMDB


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Thursday 17 June 2010

And that's all I have to say about that.

I'm blogged out.
Stay out of trouble.

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My Friends.

My friend Ally Mcbeal is waiting for me somewhere in the middle of season three, just before Billy dies but just as John Cage is getting really funny. John Cage is great. We've been hanging out for over ten years now yet we see still each other a lot. Not every day, but often intensely for a few weeks at a time.

I don't see my old friends Phoebe, Joey, Ross, Rachel, Chandler & Monica very often, I've kinda outgrown them - but I pop in to see them every now and again.

I still keep in regular contact with Frasier and Niles. How could I not? They're two of my closest friends. It's weird because I thought I'd have outgrown Dawson and Joey by now but I haven't, I still spend a lot of time with them. It's a bit like Ally Mcbeal, I won't see her for months and then I'll spend a lot of time with her.

Right now, I'm spending time with Ari Gold and Vinny Chase, occasionally visiting Victor Meldrew and I even saw Basil Fawlty recently. I haven't seen the Trotters in a good few years, maybe I should pay them a visit.

I long to see Sam Seaborn, Jed Bartlet and Josh Lyman, they're some of my closest friends. The problem is, when we hang out-- we hang out for hours and hours and hours for nights on end, they never let me sleep, and we talk about such big issues! Even though a part of me resists, I will definitely see them soon. I miss them.

The thing you all need to realise, is that all the people I've mentioned, are some of my very best friends. They have provided me with years of wisdom, companionship and laughs. And I am forever grateful - I would be a different person without them.

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Monday 14 June 2010

'Benda Bilili!' Documentary, MUST-SEE!!!

I'm not sure where or when you're going to be able to see it, but if you EVER get the chance, then you really MUST. 'Benda Bilini' is one of the most inspiring documentaries I've ever seen. It's about a group of mostly disabled Congolese musicans who; in the midst of abject poverty, crime & corruption in the heart of the Congo; manage to keep going by being creative and following what they believe and know to be their destiny: that they will be known as the world's greatest disabled band.

The music is INCREDIBLE, the camaraderie of the band is INCREDIBLE, the strength and resolve of the Congolese is INCREDIBLE. These are guys who've spent most of their lives sleeping outdoors on cardboard boxes. They would spend their days in a center for disabled people and when that place got burned down, they carried on as normal, because it's part of life in the Congo. These musicians literally had NOTHING, except each other and their instruments-- instruments that were often broken, or custom-made/invented by themselves. With passion, hope, and some help from French filmmaker Renaud Barret and a record company, they went on to record their inspired music, and then take it on tour to Paris, and then this year--- around the World.

I cannot really explain what is great about this documentary and what it meant to me, I don't have the words; I can only recommend you see it. On the one hand, it makes you realize how difficult life in the Congo really is, it makes you realize just how privileged we are. But on the other hand, you realize, Staff Benda Bilini don't want our sympathy, they just want us to hear their music, to appreciate their remarkable talent, and we really should.

Below is a YouTube video of one of Benda Bilini's songs-- unfortunately, there's not a great deal of them on the net, at least; not with subtitles. You can appreciate their talent without knowing the lyrics, but seeing them adds something because you get to see the depth of what they're singing about. Luckily, all the songs in the documentary 'Benda Bilini!' are subtitled.

The film is being released in France in September, and hopefully in the rest of the world soon after. I write this today not expecting that you'll see the documentary in your multiplex any time soon, but just in case you do, or if you see a band called 'Staff Benda Bilini' touring near you- then you should check them out. These are a group of people who have had tough, tough lives; living in poverty, with no money, on the streets, for pretty much their whole lives. But rather than bitterness, anger and resentment; they come at us instead with beautiful music. Inspirational in the extreme.

"My instrument is made from a tin can that held fish, and one single guitar string, and some wood. There's nothing else."
-Roger Landu

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