One Role, 700 Applicants: How Can You Stand Out And How Can I Not Shoot Myself?

Dear Julie,

My Name is Blah. I am blah. I was lucky enough to train with the Blah Blah. I was also cast in Blah and flown to Blah because they think I am a talented Blah. I won the Blah of Blah in Blah. Blah Blah Blah.

Yours Sincerely,
Blahhead.

First of all: my name is not Julie. I am male. That was your first mistake. 40% of cover letters I receive that have names on them are not names that belong to me. If you're going to address me by name, use my name. Or you can say 'Dear Sir/Madam,' but if you do - I won't carry on reading.

If you have emailed me for every role I've cast for the past seven years - try not to send me the same covering letter. The one that says "I was recently invited to visit the Hollywood elite" didn't sound real seven years ago, it still doesn't now. Vary things up a bit.

Visiting my website is helpful. Knowing the name of a film I've done is helpful. Anything that remotely shows you care is helpful. Say, for example, you wanted to write for the Kid In The Front Row blog; saying "I love Billy Wilder too, he is such an inspiration!" is going to interest me more than "Dear Sir/Madam, I have a lot of writing experience and I feel I am enthusiastic and able to bring expertise to your blog." Same goes for casting; I don't want to cast a robot, I want to cast a human being; so I give preference to those who are show signs of being one.

Tell me what you're passionate about. Tell me why you love movies. Tell me why you're interested in this movie. "I do not normally do low-budget work, but yours could be interesting" is not particularly endearing, "You are making a film about pigeons and I LOVE pigeons" is more interesting. Unless the film isn't about pigeons, in which case you'd look weird.

If you were that woman across the road looking at sunglasses, partially out of shot and partially blocked in the frame by an Asian man in the eleventh scene in the film 'Phone Booth,' don't put that on your Resume. You were an extra. A cellphone shot of you and Colin Farrell in the background isn't convincing of anything, either.

It's great that you are enthusiastic, hard-working and reliable. So is everyone. Maybe find some different words. I want to know you can do different things on set, too. So maybe instead of those things; maybe you are industrious, courageous, and spontaneous. Or maybe you are controlled, decisive, and determined. Or maybe you are excited by ideas, drawn to originality and inspired by collaboration. Whatever it is that you really are, figure it out and put it in your cover letter. But take out enthusiastic. Everyone says they are enthusiastic.

Yes- headshots do matter and often I do make judgements made solely on them. That's the way it is. You're playing a character. If I'm casting a black woman called Renee, I have little use for a white girl called Sally. That's just how it is. If I want someone pretty, and you're not, that's how it is. If I want someone ugly, and you're not, that's the way it is. It's not personal. But by all means - let me know you have different headshots and let me know you have a lot of different styles/images/etc.

If I am casting a drug dealer; don't send me a headshot of you smiling and looking like Meg Ryan in a rom-com. If I am casting a rom-com, don't send me a headshot that looks like you're investigating a murder.

Don't send me fourteen emails. Really: DO NOT DO THAT. DO NOT EMAIL EVERY DAY. DO NOT DO THAT.

However, four days after you've applied; DO write back to say how excited you were by the project and how you're still really interested. The human mind forgets, and a gentle reminder always helps. I once hired a composer for a film because he wrote me a wonderful, personal second email.

Be yourself. Write something true. Be a human.

JOEYI didn't get it?

PHOEBE
No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.'
So, you can work on that.

JOEY
Okay, what else?

PHOEBE
Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were
pretty but dumb'.

JOEY
Oh.

PHOEBE
Oh no wait, I'm sorry, that's 'pretty dumb.'

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Sasha Grey Will Blow Your Mind, Among Other Things.

Last night, I watched 'The Girlfriend Experience,' directed by Steven Soderbergh ('Erin Brockovich', 'Traffic', 'Oceans Eleven'). The film was excellent - some beautiful cinematography, great performances and subtle directorial touches. I usually like Soderbergh's work - I always forget to name him when talking about directors - but when I remember, I check out his work and tend to enjoy it. He's known for doing 'one for them, one for me' - i.e. for every big studio picture, like 'Ocean's Twelve', he does a smaller, more personal project, like 'The Girlfriend Experience.'

Most of all though, I was blown away by Sasha Grey's performance. And I was eager to find more work by her. This is where I am incredible naive and stupid. It turns out, she has had a lot of jobs. She's worked pretty hardcore for many years. Pretty hardcore. This is where I make a complete ass of myself because it would seem I am the only person unaware of her interesting career. For example, she was won multiple awards, for example: 'Best Three Way Sex Scene' and 'Best Group Sex Scene' at the 2007 AVN Awards.

I found all this out after googling 'Sasha Grey Clips'. Let's just say, I now realize this is an incredibly popular search term and, in my naivity and innocence, I was unaware of the onslaught of material I was to be presented with.

This wonderful actress; I thought she had a lot of talent, I just didn't expect to find those types of talents. I was thinking I'd find some interesting short films, maybe a bit of TV work (which meant television, for me, but in her line of work I now realize, it means something else). How strange! I guess, on the plus side, she's up for doing things most actresses aren't, or at least, don't mention on their Resumes.

I hope she does some more, shall we say, traditional acting - although, I think there are a lot more people out there who hope that she sticks to what she's used to.

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Is The Devil Responsible For Unpaid Casting Notices?

The person casting the feature film and not paying actors is probably not actually evil. Their intention in making a movie is, in all likelihood, not to make life miserable for struggling actors. Unfortunately, some actors are a bit paranoid and convince themselves that the world is out there trying to make me do deferred payment roles which means I will never earn money ever and all directors and producers are evil.

Rich Producer.
Sure, there are people out there who can afford to pay actors, and don't. Here's what you do: don't work for them. Or do work for them; whatever, it's your choice. However, most people aren't like that. It's very rare for producers to sit around saying "oooh, I know, I'll take $50,000, you can take $40,000, we'll give the production assistants $5,000 a day and the actors will get ZERO, ever." This kind of practice is rarer than a good Ashton Kutcher performance.

The reality of it is - unless you are on a big budget, things are tight. Money is needed in other areas, before paying ANYONE. This is the shopping list, with some small notes.

A Camera: Without renting a camera and filming, it's much harder to convince distributors that the film exists, or is any good.

Costumes: Without buying/renting/making costumes, the actors are left in their underpants. Which is fine, but looks a little odd when you're making a film about the Iraq War. Although, the Avante Garde crowd may find it revolutionary.

Locations: Without securing locations, you are often left filming in the room where you keep the camera equipment. Unless you can't afford a camera because you paid the actors, in which case: there is plenty of room in the room where the camera isn't and you can use it for various set-ups.

Travel & Food: Feeding everyone on set, as well as paying for them to get there and back is of key importance - this soon adds up to the thousands on a feature. When your budget is $8,000 - most of this will go on this very thing. Of course, you could just pay the actors a small fee instead, but then you'd have to leave them in one location, the camera room room; where there is no camera, and everyone is in their underpants.

Here is the reality: People don't have any money. The films you are applying for. i.e., the level, professionally, where you struggle to get paid - is equal to the level where producers are desperately trying to put a project together with precious little money.

Again, it's very very very rare that everyone is getting paid and huddling around in little corners mocking and laughing at the actors who are the only ones not getting paid. Actors, Producers, Directors; they're all the same, they all want to get paid for their talents. The difference is that the actor shoots their part for three days, the Director is on the project for nine months. Nine months of not getting paid is, more often than not, worse than three days of not getting paid. "But it's the director's project, that's his choice," you say - yes, just like it's your choice to produce your own projects if you're not happy!

Crying Actor.
To clarify: When people can afford to pay actors, or anyone else on a set, and don't. That is bad. In this instance, how will actor's afford their new headshots? However- in the bigger scheme of things; when something is unpaid or deferred; it's usually because someone is passionate about making a film, casting you in it, and doing something special. It's rare that they're in their homes plotting to short change actors.

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A Part Of Me That I Just Found.

I used to make Tapes. I used to make CD's. I used to sit by the radio waiting for a great song to come on back when they used to play great songs on the radio. I used to make CD's. I said that already but I'm saying it again because it was such an important thing to me. When I made tapes, it meant sitting there and listening to ninety minutes of music as I recorded it to the cassette. When I was seventeen, I had this job in town - this horrible, depressing job; and the only way I could stomach it was to make myself tapes, every night, that I would listen to on the way to work, during my lunch break, and on my way home.

I have tapes and CD's scattered everywhere. In them they hold the memories of girls who have been and gone, friends who have moved on and away and loved ones cherished and lost. I've made tapes during hard times that beamed with joy and I've made CD's during great times that bleed with pain. I have my whole life as told by Springsteen, and Van Morrison, and The Spice Girls and Billy Preston and whoever else came by at the time. There are people who've stayed along for the ride (Bruce) and people who were there very briefly and often for the oddest reasons (The Spice Girls). They've come and gone, just like everything in life.

I guess it's a part of growing up where you don't find the time to make tapes and CD's. You see, when I make a CD with 80 minutes of track - it takes me 80 minutes. Whether using a CD Mixer or a programme on a PC; I would mix 80 minutes together continuously. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean 'mix' like a super talented DJ who matches beats and rhythms. I'm talking me; starting out thinking I'm in a Led Zeppelin mood, and three tracks later finding I'm in a Joni Mitchell mood, before pondering why the hell I'm in a Simply Red mood before finally realizing I'm in a Neil Young mood.

Music was everything to me. It was a great leveller- whatever is going on in my life was only half the story, the music told the rest. A Mix CD was like art-- like a setlist, like a movie. A lot of people don't like the same music as me, a lot of people don't have the patience to play a continuous mixed 80 minute track. But a lot of people did. I have a few close friends who I used to give CD's to regularly. They know more about me than most people.

Last night, I watched 'Almost Famous' - a film that was my favorite film until a few years ago when I started saying it was 'Cinema Paradiso' and 'The Apartment'. I think it may be 'Almost Famous' afterall. Regardless, the film was exactly what I needed. The music is what I needed. Tonight, my plan was to watch a film. That plan didn't happen - not one film in my collection interested me. Then it happened-- I realized, I really wanted to make a CD. So I did.

Would you like a copy? Email me your address; and I'll pop a copy in the post.

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The UK General Elections.

The election campaigns are hotting up. They're promising 'change' and 'big ideas' and doing it by bad mouthing the other guys. Just the other day, David Cameron, the leader of the blue lot, said "I am going to redouble the positive. I am going to accentuate everything positive." In the same speech he called voters "desperate" for considering the yellow team and hurled abuse at the grumpy dude in the red corner for something to do with "fudge" and spending everyone's money.

The British electorate have been accused of being apathetic - but I challenge the Politicians to hand any voter a gun and then stand together against a large wall, the results would not be apathetic.

Anyways - I would like to announce that the Kid In The Front Row will officially be endorsing JED BARTLET.


"You know, I was watching a television program before with a sort of a roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends, apparently because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. Then they brought the boyfriends out, and they all fought; right there on television. Tell me: These people don't vote, do they?"

-Bartlet

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