Permanent Pages

Friday 4 May 2012

Headhunting The New Salmon Girl On The Way To Heaven

1. I saw 'Salmon Fishing In Yemen' today. We got in there late (due to my friend Charlotte faffing around with the whole popcorn issue, which I'll explain shortly). We missed the start and then nothing made any sense. Ewan MacGregor was doing something with Salmon, or taking Salmon somewhere, I don't know, I still don't really know-- I didn't get it. And I was all bitter and angry that Charlotte made us miss the beginning of the movie, so I was in a rage for most of it.

Anyway; eventually the film won me over. Ewan and Emily Blunt are just so darn likable. The film is likable. It just slowly works its spell on you. The first half of it you're sitting there repeatedly saying 'Why the fuck do I care about salmon?'. After a while, the people in the cinema say "Stop saying why the fuck do I care about salmon?" so you stop saying it, and focus on the movie.

And it wins you over. A very satisfying movie watching experience, just don't ever go to the cinema with Charlotte. Here's why.

2. The worst thing about buying popcorn, apart from it spilling all over you, is women who steal all of it, as
I explained here. I've learned my lesson -- when Charlotte said she likes salt popcorn, I immediately ordered the sweet popcorn. So she had to buy her own; HA! That will teach her. No more popcorn stealing; perfect.

All was going to plan, but then she decided she wanted to buy some pick 'n mix... so off she went to stock up on sugar-covered-strawberry-thingys and cola-bottles and strawberry-thingys-that-aren't-sugar-covered and many other things. She took ages!

So we missed the start of the movie. I sat there ANGRY AS HELL. But luckily, I had MY popcorn to myself.

But then I got extremely curious about the salty popcorn. I offered her my popcorn. She said "No thanks". Did she offer me some of hers? NO!

And then she started munching away on the sugar-covered-strawberry-thingys. EATING POPCORN AND SUGAR-COVERED-STRAWBERRY-THINGYS at the same time. WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS! She was sitting there munch-munch-bite-yum-yum-oh-this-is-so-delicious RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! What!!? And offered me none!? I sat there, ENRAGED!

3. 'Headhunters' is a cool film. It's Norwegian. The first half is riveting, the second half is very good, but not riveting. I give it a 7/10 but it's a strong 7/10, meaning-- definitely go see it if you can.

4. Seen her in a heap of stuff recently and, as a result, I'm currently a little in love with Emily Blunt.

5. I'm listening to Phil Collins. Everyone likes Phil Collins, just admit it.

6. Collins is cool, but he's not a hero of mine. For that you need to be someone like Jackson Browne. It's not just the voice, or the lyrics, or anything you could make a reality show about --- it's something deeper. He just has wisdom. And soul. All the indefinables.

7. I started watching 'New Girl', because the recommendation came from a friend I completely trust. That's how word of mouth works. It needs to come from someone whose tastes and beliefs we believe in. She said "Watch 'New Girl' and love it, or I don't know you." It's wonderful! Fresh, funny, just a pure joy to watch. 

8. 'My Fellow Americans' is a very heartwarming and hilarious movie. I just can't get enough of watching Jack Lemmon. Still makes no sense to me that he's dead. How can somebody like that pass away? He should still be here, making movies.

9. Season 6 of 'Seinfeld' is beyond genius. 

10. 'The Double' is a decent flick. When Richard Gere and Martin Sheen are on screen -- they carry real weight, dramatically. I'd watch Martin Sheen in anything. Or I could just watch him again and again in 'The West Wing', which of course I do. 

11. Phil Collins - Something Happened On The Way To Heaven. Come on, that's a good tune right there. My parents like Phil Collins, so I blame them. But blame is a strong term -- maybe they set me on this path. There's often been this joke in my family -- they're like where did he get all this film stuff from? Interestingly, I've always linked it strongly with music. When I give examples of creativity or artistry, more often than not I look to musicians rather than filmmakers, because it's easier to spot and explain. And I think so much of my tastes and sensibilities come from listening to my parents records when I was a kid. It was stuff like Rod Stewart, Tina Turner, Phil Collins, Diana Ross! And I know, uncool right? You wanna be able to say your parents were into Led Zeppelin -- but actually, listening to Phil Collins right now; I can hear me in it. The music my parents have always loved is good, honest, heartfelt stuff. It's not about whether it's cool or mainstream, it's about it being truthful and connecting. That's what I've always gone after in my work. I have great parents and they have terrific taste in music, you should know this. They love a good bit of Motown, too. 


  1. We got Salmon Fishing the Yemen at our theater here, and when I casually asked the guy at the box office how it was, all he said was "meh." Kinda killed it for me. But I do love Ewan McGregor..

  2. Great and very funny post. I loved how you were able to cover so many topics in such a short space. I especially liked the Charlotte part. I have a Charlotte, too. She's called Dennise, though. I love her but I avoid going to the movies with her like the plague. I want to see Headhunters, hopefully it opens over here soon. And I love New Girl. And I can't say I'm a fan, but who doesn't like Phil Collins?

  3. Sorry, but no one who really cares about film eats popcorn in a cinema.

  4. it might be a great movie, it sure has inspired some ladies to go fly fishing. Scottish guides confirm 60 percent increase in female bookings and who knows what more a movie can do?

  5. There is no salmon in Yemen... sorry dude :)