Friday 2 March 2012

The Feedback Friend

AMY
I have a problem with the dialogue, it doesn't flow.

RAY
To where?

AMY
It doesn't make any sense.

RAY
Of course.

AMY
What?

RAY
What?

AMY
I'm trying to give you feedback on the script.

RAY
I like it.

AMY
Your script?

RAY
Your feedback.

AMY
Can we review your script before we review my review?

RAY
Yeah.

AMY
The dialogue is like, well, not real.

RAY
In what way is it not real?

AMY
People don't talk like that.

RAY
Why not?

AMY
Because they speak in other ways.

RAY
There's always someone who talks differently, and that's how my characters speak.

AMY
No.

RAY
I once knew a man who started every sentence with the phrase "Oh my jolly lord."

AMY
Really?

RAY
No I made that up. My point is people talk in all different ways, just like in my script.

AMY
Nobody actually speaks that badly.

RAY
Only politicians.

AMY
Your jokes don't work either, they're very badly executed.

RAY
Is there anything you like?

AMY
Jewelry.

RAY
Amy.

AMY
Yes.

RAY
Is there anything you like about the script?

AMY
I thought the ending was contrived.

RAY
And you liked that?

AMY
Yes, I was happy that it ended.

RAY
You liked the ending?

AMY
I think endings should always be abrupt.

Care to share?

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