Sunday 19 February 2012

Length Matters

Films are too long! They're so boring, don't you think!? Films should be 90 minutes. If it's great, 100 minutes. Anything longer makes me SNORE! I need to eat, and pee, and drink, and make phone calls, and check my Facebook to see if Julia has liked the picture of me snorkeling. 

When did films get so long!? Those early Chaplin ones were great, they were eleven minutes! 

Then again, most short films that people send me are too long. They're 11 minutes and you're snoring after thirty seconds! 

Here are my rules. 

1. Viral videos should be 30 seconds. 

2. Short films should be 4 minutes. 
3. Feature films should be between 89 and 93 minutes. Anything longer must be GENIUS. 
4. Scorsese is exempt from length rules, I can happily watch his lengthy movies. 
5. Kevin Costner MUST adhere to these rules. 

My problem with the longer movies is that they go on for absolutely no reason! They either drag out the bit where the police hunt down the killer, or they prolong the chase where the guy gets the girl, or worse; the killer gets caught and the guy and girl kiss and then they drag it on for another thirty four minutes! Did you ever see 'Hancock'? That film finished  and then they carried it on for another forty minutes so that Will Smith could put a heart on the moon or some nonsense. 

90 minutes, is my rule. Why? Because I've got other things to do! What do I mean by that? Yes --- I've got other movies to watch! 

Care to share?


  1. I thought you were entirely kidding about your rule.

    No, movies should be as long as they pleas. Don't rush art.

  2. Nooo! It should be rushed, definitely! Rush rush rush rush it! And besides, most of this stuff isn't art; it's Hollywood junk -- yet they pad it out to 130 minutes! There definitely needs to be a law passed that all movies should be 93 minutes only.

  3. Hancock was horrible. The length didn't matter - it was just bad.

    I think a movie or novel shouldn't include parts it doesn't need.

  4. I agree...I have never understood the point of dragging films out until the viewers are half asleep!

  5. It's sort of funny because over the years the ideal length of a script has gotten shorter and shorter -- no one really wants to see a 120 page script anymore!! Yet, there ARE a lot of incredibly long movies. If it's a compelling film, it can be whatever length it needs to be. But if it's not compelling, it's too long no matter how many minutes it runs. ;-)