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Monday, 26 July 2010

The One Where Tom Hanks Was Like "What The Fuck???"

I bring you an exclusive behind the scenes look at what happened on the set of the Robert Zemeckis film 'CAST AWAY' when the sanity of two-time Academy Award winner Tom Hanks was seriously put to the test. After half of the shoot, Hanks was convinced this was going to be his best film to date. And then the director started making some strange requests.

DIRECTOR
Great work today, Tom.

TOM
Thanks.

DIRECTOR
I have some new dialogue for you.

TOM
Great.

DIRECTOR
I think you need someone with you on the island.

TOM
I'd like that.

DIRECTOR
I need you to say, "You wouldn't have a match by any chance, would ya?"

TOM
Who am I saying it to, Helen Hunt?

DIRECTOR
Um. No. To Wilson.

TOM
Who?

DIRECTOR
A volleyball. Say the line to a volleyball.

A few days later.

DIRECTOR
Tom. I just watched 'APOLLO 13.'

TOM
I love that movie.

DIRECTOR
Me too. I love when Ed Harris is arguing with everyone about trajectories and re-entry.

TOM
Yeah, very powerful stuff.

DIRECTOR
Don't you wish you'd been in those scenes?

TOM
I guess. But I was in the spaceship.

DIRECTOR
Well, we've come up with a similar scene for you. You map out the plane crash and detail the land that surrounds you. You can write it all on the cave.

TOM
That could be cool.

DIRECTOR
So you'll do it?

TOM
Sure, Rob.

DIRECTOR
Great. I'll get the volleyball.

TOM
Not the volleyball thing again?

DIRECTOR
It'll be great.


TOM
I thought that scene went well.

DIRECTOR
Me too.

TOM
I'm going for a nap.

DIRECTOR
Hold on, we need you for Wilson's close up.

TOM
Are you sure it was you who Directed 'Forrest Gump'?

DIRECTOR
I get a better performance when both actors are there for each other.

TOM
It's a volleyball!!

DIRECTOR
And it's his first role in a movie, you should be more supportive.

TOM
It's a Vol-ley-ball. This is crazy.

A day later, Tom was back on set for another night shoot.

DIRECTOR
Okay Tom. I need you to say, "I can't take much more of those coconuts. Coconut milk's a natural laxative," whilst you're eating crab.

TOM
Great line. This should be good.

DIRECTOR
Just bare with us - we're waiting for Wilson to arrive on set.

TOM
The fucking volleyball again?

DIRECTOR
Is there a problem?

TOM
I've done three films with Meg Ryan.

DIRECTOR
What's wrong, Tom?

TOM
What's with the volleyball? I signed on to act with Helen Hunt.

DIRECTOR
She's not in this scene.

TOM
Can't we get Tim Allen?

DIRECTOR
The ball is more natural.

TOM
I have two academy awards. I've worked with Denzel Washington.

Coming soon. More completely true untold stories from Hollywood movies.

Care to share?

8 comments:

  1. Hilarious. I like these sorts of posts. Funny!

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  2. That is hilarious.

    But Wilson was a great character.

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  3. Thanks guys. I realised most of my recent posts have been all normal and professional, I miss writing more junk like this :)

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  4. I laughed all the way through,so funny and also very believable! I look forward to visiting again (grin).

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  5. "Can't we get Tim Allen?"

    "The ball is more natural."

    - is absolute gold. Really enjoyed this post, and nice to see you popping by a bit more of the blogosphere lately too.

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  6. lol...that's awesome. Excellent post. :)

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