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Wednesday 2 June 2010

Sex And The City 2: A Review Of The People Lining Up To See It.

So me and my friend Pete decided to go and see a movie, although we didn't actually see a movie we just decided to see one, but we didn't see it. You see, what we did see, Pete and me, is we saw an abundance of women. Hundreds of women. I can't say exactly how many but somewhere between a hundred and a million, and they were all lining up to see 'Sex And The City 2.' Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe the women were out in numbers to see 'Furry Vengeance' but it's unlikely.
Now, I have no problem with women liking Sex And The City, they can like Sex And anything they want, but --- the problem was, that the line to buy a ticket was about this long. I just demonstrated how long with my arms, but you can't see, because this is a blog. I mean, you can see, I'm not saying your eyesight is bad; I just mean you can't see what I'm doing, because this is a blog, and not a video of me stretching my arms out like this. Again, you can't see that, either, because this isn't a video. Anyways. Where were we? We were in line at the cinema.

So, there we were. And there were hundreds of women of all ages, although not quite as old as a hundred, and not quite as young as five although some were acting like it. The problem we had was that we wanted to just quietly walk over to the cinema dude and buy a ticket for 'Death At A Funeral' -- I don't mean I wanted death, or a funeral, although after witnessing the effects of Sex And The City, it perhaps seemed more appealing. But we couldn't buy a ticket, because the lines were so long, so we decided to go to Pizza Hut.

The Pizza was okay, it was quite nice, although not as friendly as some other Pizza's. We also had a dessert due to the waitress demanding we try the cookie thingy dessert. And then it was time to go and see the later showing of the film, or maybe even seeing the other film that was on, I forget which one, but just before we left; about sixty females suddenly left Pizza Hut and walked towards the cinema. I got out the movies app on my iPhone. Indeed, SATC2 was starting at the same time as the movies we were considering, which meant more lines. Indeed, as we looked beyond the cookie dessert and on out of the window, we could see another sea of woman seemingly seeing one thing only -- it's like that scene in 'War Of The Worlds' when they're all going up that mountain towards the Alien thingy. We realized we had no chance, once again there were to be at least a million women in line to get tickets for the movie about the shopping bags.

And then we went home.

Overall - I give the audience members of Sex & The City 1 out of 10.


  1. Hysterical! All that oestrogen had quite an effect on you. For that reason and that reason only I give the audience members of SATC2 a 10 out of 10. Well maybe not just for that reason. I'm also giving them a 10 out of 10 because they are proving, yet again, that women can (almost) single-sexedly (yes, I am aware that that's not a real word but you catch my drift) can make a movie a smash hit at box office.

  2. I've just finished my review (although it's more of a rant) of SATC2. Would love to hear your opinions.

  3. I'm tempted to give the movie a 1/10, too -and I'm a woman, mind...

    Truth is, I found it to be totally inconsequential and "plot-less" and -in hindsight- wish I hadn't bothered waiting in line either... :(