Monday 2 November 2009

Things To Do Instead Of Writing Your Screenplay.

1. Flick constantly between your email and your Facebook.

2. Develop a sudden interest in world news.

3. Drink tea.

4. Get so engrossed in reading a Wikipedia article about UFOs that you completely forget you were even thinking about writing a script.

5. Look at pictures of Megan Fox.

6. Look at pictures of Monica Bellucci.

7. Write a letter to both of their agents, with a pitch for a film, starring them - with a clause that you get final say on costume.

8. Write the words 'YOU FUCKING SUCK AT WRITING' in big, italic letters.

9. Develop a fascination with really uninteresting people on your Facebook friends list.

10. Blog.

Care to share?


  1. Haha, replace Megan Fox & Monica Bellucci with Dirk Bogarde, and replace writing with painting and you've pretty much summed up my life.

  2. Reminds me of a great quote by Woody Allen -

    "Last night I was home alone in my apartment and I conjured up a threesome with me, Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren, and it was very very erotic. As a matter of fact if I'm not mistaken, it was the first time those two great actresses ever appeared in anything together."

  3. Replace "Facebook" with "Tumblr", and "Megan Fox" with "more Monica Bellucci" and I can agree with this list ;-)

    I am a deadline writer. Unfortunately, I cannot impose artificial deadlines... It is like setting your alarm clock 15 minutes fast. You know to subtract 15 automatically.

  4. I was going to write something about how this list also works for avoiding working a novel. Instead, I'm off to look for pics of Monica Bellucci.

  5. Refreshing Facebook to check the status updates of people I don't care about takes up about a fifth of my day.

  6. Haha it's all exactly what I'm doing now, though replace megan fox and monica Belucci with colin morgan and bradley james... anyway do excuse me while I check my facebook and emails(thank god twitter hasn't caught on yet!)

  7. Replace pictures of the gals with pics of my fiance... and I think I've just been labeled as a writing procrastinator, lol.

  8. Bradley James Kerr2 November 2009 at 13:37

    You've basically just summed up my life.

  9. I am quite sure I have done all of that.

  10. It's wierd that any writer here has done that (with exceptions of 5. and 7.). Still funny blog.

  11. are amazing :)

  12. Very true. I have to admit I've looked up and been embarrassed to see how much time I've wasted on some things. (I'd like to add Mila Kunis to that list by the way...)

    Then, when I get into my writing, it seems like I don't have enough time and I've fighting sleep off to finish my thoughts.