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Thursday 16 April 2009

Why I Love Movies.

I am not claiming this is the only reason I love movies. For example, Natalie Portman is just as much a reason. However, this other reason has become more apparent to me recently. It's entirely possible that you'll say 'duh' - but at least, for me, this had never been obvious to me before. In many ways, my reason for loving movies is actually pretty much the opposite of escapism. If anything, films bring me right down to this very moment, this very second of breathing - they make me conscious, and present.

Most of my professional life is spent chasing something - chasing career goals, trying to do things so I can get nearer to what I am trying to achieve. In many ways I am off in my own thought, far away into the future trying to make things happen.

I used to think listening to music and watching movies were similar for me but I've since realised they aren't. Most of the time music transports me somewhere; quite often to my past, whereby my favourite songs or a wailing saxaphone will make me think of old girlfriends, old memories, etc.

When I turn on the DVD player, or when I go to the cinema; I am entirely present in that moment. I am not worrying about the future, I am not thinking about the past. I am not lost in my thoughts or egoic conquests. Simply put - I am right there, in that chair, watching that movie. I watch movies to get excited, I watch movies to relax and I watch movies for all sorts of reasons. But now what I am taking notice of is WHY; why it is that movies do this for me. And it's precisely because I am not concerned about anything in my life; all of the problems and challenges that come with my thoughts; instead-- I am right here in this very moment. I am able to give myself over to the filmmakers.

This may seem lazy and unconscious. But I don't think so. I am very awake, very alert. I listen to the characters in a different way to how I listen to my friends. When a friend talks, my viewpoints are tainted by judgement, by concerns, by wants and needs; the selfish parts of my ego, etc. But with films, it's different - I just let them tell my story and I let them take me on that ride.

So it's dawned on me that I am actually most myself when I am watching films. They give me a chance to live and breath and experience something; whereas in almost every other situation I am clouded by thoughts, opinions, arguments, hunger, etc etc etc.

I am not sure what this revelation means and I appreciate that I am probably stating the obvious. However, it's new to me, and I thought I'd ramble about it.

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