10 People To Avoid In Creative Industries

If you want to succeed, if you want to be happy, if you want to get work done, then you need to ditch these people. The seeds of creativity are just that, seeds. If you're in the wrong environment, with the wrong people, they'll never blossom. These are ten people who will do their utmost best to kill your spark.

1. The Drama Queen. 

Everything is a huge drama! They had to wait fifty minutes for an audition, so will spend four hours that night telling you about it. And moaning about how hard done by the are. And they'll build big and elaborate stories around the dullest of things.

2. The Delusional. 

They were at a networking party and met a guy called Bob who said he was a producer. And he said, "I think you have a quality." So, your friend calls you up all excited because he/she thinks he/she has a 'quality', and will now be getting Oscars. And they ramble on and ramble on. And the delusionals; they keep trying to skip the hard work. Keep trying to bypass the struggle. They think they have a golden ticket.

3. The Stressy. 

At the beginning of a day on set; maybe their hair looked weird. Or maybe someone gave them the wrong kind of sandwich. And they turn it into a big bag of stress. And they don't get over it. And they think the wrong kind of sandwich has caused a catastrophic nightmare, of which your project may never get over.

4. The Jealous.

At some point, you're gonna say, "they hired me". And you need to be around people who can support it. If you hang around jealous types, you may never get the "they hired me" call, because The Jealous are too busy chopping you down when opportunities arise.

5. The Perfectionists.

You may think perfectionists are a good thing. You may see yourself as one. But a perfectionist, more often than not, is someone with a huge inner critic. And the critic never lets them complete a project, never thinks it's good enough. And The Perfectionist will meddle in your work -- keep nibbling away until you're smacked down on the canvas and unable to stand up. They think the problem is you -- but never look deeply inside themselves. You have to get away from these people because they will hold you down for years.

6. The Egotistical. 

You went to a party last night with Kevin Spacey, and Harvey Weinstein invited you onto his yacht, really? Wow. And you don't have the decency to acknowledge the production assistant who just brought you coffee? Yeah; we don't want you on this film set anymore.

7. The Lazy.

They're so good at pretending they're not lazy. But laziness is a real killer. And it's contagious. Don't be lazy about getting rid of lazy people, do it at once!

8. The Needy. 

Should I do it? Should I not do it? Would you do it for me? Do you think they might do it? Do you think if you asked them they'd do it for me? Have you done it yet? Will they like me? Do you like me? Why am I not in your film? Do you want me to come over? Why don't you want me to come over? Why were you acting all funny when I came over? I'm over it, okay? I'm taking a break from talking to you, okay? Do you love me? Does nobody love me? Does love exist? Can I have a hug? If you ask them to give me a hug will they give it to me? Have you cast it yet? When you cast it will you tell me?

9. The Negative. 

They think it can't be done. They think there's no point in finishing. No point in starting. They think it'll suck anyway. They think it would be better if it was done another way, another time. Frankly, they don't think you know what you're doing; and rather than support you to do it right, or to humbly admit they don't know what they're doing either; they'll just judge you and be certain that you can't do it and shouldn't do it.

10. The User. 

Has no idea how much work you put in. Doesn't appreciate what you did, and has no awareness of how much it took out of you. But as long as they're on their way, right?

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Miley Cyrus - What Have They Done To My Song, Ma?

Are Miley's nipples showing? Is she not wearing a bra? Has she had surgery? Is she marrying that guy? Has she dumped that guy? Is she going out for groceries? Or jogging? Did she tweet? Is she not tweeting? Has she cut her hair? Has she grown it again? Has she lost her mind?

Or maybe we could focus on her talent. Because, believe it or not, Miley Cyrus can sing.

Once upon a time, I was ten. My parents would be sitting on the sofa, watching TV. I was in the corner, with the big giant headphones on; listening to my parents records. I would listen to EVERYTHING. I got to know every inch of every song.

Mum and Dad had this 4 disc CD set (in fact, they still have it), called 'Sounds of the 70's'. Disc one, track ten, was Melanie - What Have They Done To My Song, Ma?

I'm pretty sure my parents never really liked the song.

But I would always put it on mix tapes, force it on everyone. It was so simple -- a woman sitting there saying, 'what have they done to my song? It's the only thing I could do half right, and it's turning out all wrong, Ma'. Maybe this was the first time it crossed my mind that people interfere with music, that a lot stands in the way of an artist putting out their work. Maybe that song is at least partly responsible for me being obsessed with auteurs, artists and independent film. Or maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.

Anyway, I've not heard the song in years. And then I came across the Miley Cyrus version. When Miley covers a great song, I listen. Although we live in different worlds, and have, I would imagine, very little in common, it wouldn't surprise me if she was also a kid with the headphones on, listening to her parent's records. After all, her Dad is Billy Ray Cyrus.

I remember hearing her cover of 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' a few years back. And felt the same thing then, she NAILED IT. 'Every Rose...' was another of those songs that I spent countless nights listening to. That wasn't my parents doing -- by the time I was listening to Poison, I was on my own music-journey, and 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' was one of the big players when I was a teenager.

Miley Cyrus doesn't get to be just Miley Cyrus. She has to go to the circus. Weird men follow her every move, snapping pictures. Every time she has an outburst on Twitter or shows an inch too much of her legs at a concert, it's headline news. It's not hard to see why so many stars go insane.

Luckily, when you hear her sing the way she does, you realise that her feet are still on the ground. Have you heard her beautiful version of 'You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go'? Her voice soars -- an amazing country music inflection; it's close to magic.

I love cover versions when they're done well. For Miley Cyrus to pluck 'What Have They Done To My Song, Ma?' out of nowhere, it must mean something to her. I can't stop watching and listening to this performance -- she's so into it. Isn't it the greatest thing when you witness someone truly loving a song? Especially when they're the one performing it. Wonderful.

For the briefest moment, when listening to this song. You remember she's just a young girl -- making her way in the world. And what is she? She's a singer. A singer who wants to sing.

"Look what they've done to my song, Ma. 

Look what they've done to my song.

It's the only thing I could do half right,

And it's turning out all wrong, Ma."

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Thoughts on Recent Cinema Releases

'Untouchable' is the best film I've seen this year.

And how great is Emma Watson in 'The Perks Of Being A Wallflower'? It's one of those films that you think is going to be just another teen high school movie, but it ends up being so much more. 

'Liberal Arts' is immensely watchable. Probably because Richard Jenkins is in it. Does that guy ever do bad work? 'Killing Them Softly' is probably his least interesting role in ages, but Brad Pitt? He OWNED that movie. And it's great seeing Scoot McNairy getting such interesting roles. Look at how far he's come since 'In Search of a Midnight Kiss'. 

'The Perks of being a Wallflower' really sticks with you. For the most part, it's only pretty good, but the ending is masterful. How to describe the movie? I think if you mash together 'Starter For Ten', 'Adventureland' and 'High Fidelity', you'd get an idea of what this movie is.

It has great insight. That's what separates the great movies from the average. 'Ruby Sparks' is a fun concept, but that's all it is, a concept. There are some laughs, purely because of the situation (a writer's invention comes to life), but nothing resonates with you.

Yet every moment of 'Untouchable' rings true. The great thing about French films is that they're really films -- they tell a story that's dictated by the story; and not by the genre or by some toy that the film studio wants to sell. 'Untouchable' is hilarious, it's uplifting and it's liberating, but it's also painful and upsetting. You'll love it from the opening sequence.

'Killing Them Softly' was a good movie, some great moments-- but it was so obvious about its intentions. Nearly every scene had a TV in the background with an Obama or Bush speech talking about messed up the economy is. That was how the director pushed his theme on us. But 'Untouchable'? It just told the story. One character was rich, white and disabled, the other black and poor--- yet it didn't spell it out. It went for a more subtle approach. It's great when a movie doesn't treat its audience like a four year old.

'Liberal Arts' was a great watch. Nothing out of the ordinary, it's just one of those 'Garden State' movies; a few white people fall in and out of love with a cool soundtrack over the top. But it had the needed ingredient: insight. The film is immensely inviting. You don't want it to end because you're having such a blast hanging out with Josh Radnor, Elizabeth Olsen and Zac Efron.

Zac Efron is hilarious in this movie. 

And we need to talk more about Emma Watson. It's not easy to be a great actor after being known for such a huge franchise. And honestly, she proved me wrong-- she's got talent. I saw 'My Week With Marilyn' and thought she would be forever reduced to bit parts, but now I want to see her in everything.

But I want to see her do interesting stuff, the indie films. Don't just put her in a Twilight reboot.

As for 'Ruby Sparks', the trailer is enough. A funny concept, ha ha, but spend your hard earned cash watching something else.

But I must say I've become a big fan of Chris Messina. Funny how opinions change. I used to find his performances lacklustre, but now I enjoy everything he's in. He's worked with Nora Ephron, worked with Woody Allen, and did you see 'The Giant Mechanical Man'? A must-watch film for anyone who is a romantic but close to losing heart. 

My favourite moment in 'To Rome with Love' is when we first see Woody's character. Allen hasn't been on the screen since 2006's 'Scoop'. But no-one saw that, so you could say he has hardly been on screen since the turn of the millennium.

But his intro in this movie--- we hear him talking, moaning about the flight (he's on a plane), but we don't yet see him. The camera gentle rolls past each row until, finally, it reveals little Woody Allen--- it's like the reveal of a superhero. But instead of Spiderman...

..We get Woody Allen. And I loved it! He's hilarious in this movie, but perhaps only if you're a fan. The dialogue is so throwaway that half the audience don't know he's joking --- while the other half laugh more than they have in years.

Is Woody's recent output as good as the glory years? No, but there's still gold in there. Woody is like an old relative that everyone in the family loves--- he's not as lively as he once was but you still cherish him. 

I guess I should see 'Taken 2' and 'Paranormal Activity 4', but why? We already know what happens. What I love about movies is that a whole new world gets invented. But sequels are just made to sell some tickets. Liam Neeson kicks some ass again -- do I really need to give up two hours to witness it?

I can't bring myself to see 'On The Road'. I love the book too much. Usually I'd give it a go, but not this one --- the version of 'On The Road' that I read, which lives in my heart, is too precious to me to be influenced by a movie version. Don't get me wrong, I'm massively tempted! I just can't do it.

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It's Only In My Head

I'm free associating. Getting the junk out. What junk? So much junk. Maybe by writing I'll find clarity. That happens sometimes, right? Actually, it's happened to me many times. But it's also happened that I've written heaps and heaps and then nothing, nada, no good.

The thing for a writer is that you're convinced you must create anew because everything that came before sucked.

And this was meant to be free association, but now I'm rambling about writing.

What else do you want me to talk about? The imaginary you, that I picture reading this, would say, "anything but writing; go have an insight about elephants, or the moon, or triangles, you can't keep writing about writing you big fraud."

Not that a writer can ever be a fraud. If I write something and you read it, I'm a writer. But with so much dedication to writing, your brain becomes conditioned to focus on writing.

And reading about writing.
And writing about reading.
And reading about reading.
And writing about writing.

It needs life in it.
 
So do I just go chasing after some girl I hardly know because that's where the life is at? How do I make it about the life, and not the writing? And is there any difference? Sometimes I wish I was a beat poet from the 50's; out there on the streets just taking in all that happened under the big dark night and turning out pages with fervour.

Writing gets prioritised above everything else. But that's the Catch 22; you can't have good writing without life, and you can't have a good life when you're constantly writing. 

It takes so long to get great, you need to be practising every chance you get. Everyone is outside looking up at the buildings and you're inside, never leaving them.

But sometimes you feel you're getting dead inside. You feel like you've written out every part of you a thousand times over.

But we evolve and change and grow and rust; there's always something new to dig in to.

But how soon do you dig? Do you dig the moment you feel it, or do you let it grow? Wouldn't it be great to have an experience and not write about it until 50 years have gone by? Unfortunately, the moment I feel some thing of novelty or uniqueness, I throw it down on the page --- a script, a story, a tweet, a blog!

Sometimes I dream of living just to live, without the writing. And I realise how narcissistic this sounds to non-writers. But I am how I am and what can I do about it?

Maybe take writing less seriously.

Most of the time I do. The majority of my writing is silliness and jokes.

Ignore what I just said, because comedy is the thing I take the most serious of all. Getting comedy right is so difficult and such a craft. When I or anyone else nails it, it's amazing. That's why most of the time when you read a funny story or go see a comedy at the cinema, you don't laugh -- because it's so hard to do properly.

My brain says "you must write" and "you must stop writing" at exactly the same time. It makes me reach for the distractions, the addictions; thank God my addictions are caffeine and the internet. They're the most lovely and acceptable ways to rot your brain.

I will write a masterpiece, one of these days. Either that or I'll never write anything of interest to anyone.

Ain't that what sits in every writer's head at the back of everything?

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30 Tips to Help You Make Your First Zero-Budget Short Film

1. Don't say it's unpaid. Say it's a collaboration. And don't just say it, mean it. You're collaborating together to create a piece of art out of whatever means you have.

2. Think of every single place you know that you have access to that could be a location. Think about this before the script stage. Your cousin is an office manager? Your Uncle owns a taxi? Your ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend lives in a mansion? Utilise these locations in your script/film.

3. Find creative people who will get something out of your project. Your friend is an artist? Ask if she wants to design DVD covers. Your Brother wants to be a singer? Get him to sing a song about the movie and post it on YouTube to promote the project. 

4. Related to the point above -- don't do it all yourself. Part of doing a zero-budget film is that you do need to do a lot of it yourself; but delegate! Find other creative people who want to get involved. 

5. Be confident. It's your piece of art. It doesn't have to be a masterpiece, and you don't need to be intimidated by anyone -- this is your chance to create something personal.

6. Create something personal. Write from the heart. 

7. Write to your budget. No explosions, no car chases, no burning down buildings. 

8. If you know people who can stage explosions, car chases and buildings burning down, then by all means use them if it'll help your story (but don't break any laws and don't kill any people, not even actors).

9. Don't be afraid of actors just because it's your first movie. They need the roles, otherwise they wouldn't do it! And most of them -- some of them -- are very friendly people. 

10. Cast interesting and intriguing actors. There's only so much time in a short film to tell a story; so tell some of the story through the interesting faces you present on screen. 

11. Don't hire heaps of lights and things with cables and buttons that you don't understand. Focus on telling a story. 

12. Shoot without permission. Tell people you're students, tell people you're just taking a picture, tell people you're not filming-just-pretending-to. Or my old favourite, you say, "We are thinking about doing a film so we're just coming here to test out the light and see if it's workable". 

For some reason, people will stop you from filming but they won't stop you from filming-to-see-if-it's-the-right-place-to-film. This really works!

13. Don't spend all day getting every single angle conceivable. Think about the story you're telling -- storyboard if it helps you --- think about shooting scenes creatively in ways that support your vision, rather than covering absolutely everything ten times over. 

14. Get a few takes and then move on. 

15. Start early. Don't feel bad about it. Everyone wants to make a movie so get them up early and crack on. 

16. If on day two, your actor has quit -- don't keep ringing them up, demanding they return. At the level you're at --- justified or not-- actors will go for paid work instead, or they'll think you're amateur, or they'll be lazy and stay home. Y'know what? It's happened to everyone, find a way to keep telling your story. 

17. It's not just actors. It could be anyone. If it's YOUR MOVIE, it's going to mean more to you than the others -- so you gotta do whatever you gotta do to make it happen. 

18. If someone is working exceptionally hard to help you with YOUR VISION; then treat them to something. A chocolate bar. A bunch of flowers. A new house. Whatever you can afford. These people are extremely rare. 

19. Find lovely people to work with. 

20. Don't get stressed. 

Okay, you will get stressed. But don't drag it on for hours. 

Maybe the sound guy was late. Maybe the camera is broken. Maybe the building exploded at the wrong moment. 

But what are you going to do? Moaning and stressing doesn't bring a solution. You need to focus on finding solutions to problems as they arise. 

Sometimes we get caught up in rehashing the same old problems. Telling each person, one-by-one, oh how badly we were let down by someone or something -- but it solves nothing! Be a pro. Move on. 

21. Don't have friends on set just to have friends on set. They'll get in the way. 

22. If you have friends helping you out on the crew --- then you need to be very careful about which friends you choose. 

Explain to them exactly what they'll be doing, and let them know precisely how boring it will be. Everyone loves the idea of working on a movie, but after three days in which they've done nothing but hold a boom pole, they get bored. And then that darn pole keeps dipping into the shot.

You need people who are committed. 

23. If you have scenes where characters are eating food -- build your lunch breaks around it, so that the actors are working and eating. It saves time and money. Don't tell the actors you're doing this, they'll get grumpy. 

24. Feed everyone well -- but keep it cheap. Try make it hot if you can. Everyone likes Pasta. 

25. Do not fall in love with cast members or crew members, because if they fall in love with someone else during the production, your whole brain goes funny and your feet keep forgetting where the floor is. 

This is not a good state of mind for a director. 

26. Give praise! These people are giving their time for nothing; working as hard as they can -- and they're just as insecure as you are. Giving them specific and honest praise will help them, and the set will become rather pleasant and productive-- which is what you want, right? 

27. Ignore the temptation to say, "Well we're not far behind --- how about if we wrap now and pick up the rest when we finish tomorrow?"

That's a bad idea. Do it now. Ignore the tiredness. 

28. Ignore the tiredness -- you're making a movie! Have some caffeine and go go go make it happen --- yawn when no-one is looking--- then go go go again. 

29. Tell people every four minutes that the lights are hot; because they keep forgetting and keep burning their hands. We don't know why they do that but they do. 

30. Enjoy it. You're MAKING A FILM!!!!


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