Sunday 13 November 2011

The Nuclear Bomb: Intercepted Conversation Between IRAN and USA

AMERICA
You must not develop a nuclear bomb.

IRAN
Why?

AMERICA
They are bad. The world should be free of nuclear weapons.

IRAN
But you have some.

AMERICA
We believe in peace.

IRAN
How many millions of people are dead in Iraq?

AMERICA
Millions of people are dead all over the world.

IRAN
What's your point?

AMERICA
We don't need nukes to kill people and neither do you.

IRAN
If you have a bomb then I want a bomb.

AMERICA
No. We don't trust you.

IRAN
We don't trust you.

AMERICA
We believe in world peace.

IRAN
Really?

AMERICA
And democracy.

IRAN
Really?

AMERICA
You will not build a bomb. If you build the bomb we will bomb you or at least impose sanctions.

IRAN
And what happens after the sanctions?

AMERICA
We bomb you.

IRAN
With what?

AMERICA
Bombs.

IRAN
Nuclear bombs?

AMERICA
We don't use nuclear bombs. We only have nuclear bombs in case other people have nuclear bombs. That's why we built the Nuke in the 1940's.

IRAN
Why was that?

AMERICA
Because we feared Germany would build the nuke.

IRAN
Did they build the nuke?

AMERICA
No.

IRAN
So what did you do?

AMERICA
Bombed Japan.

IRAN
We're building the nuke.

AMERICA
No.

IRAN
Okay, we won't.

AMERICA

Huh?

IRAN
We won't build a nuke.

AMERICA
Oh. Maybe you should.

IRAN
Why?

AMERICA
Because then we have a reason to bomb you.

IRAN
Okay, we'll think about it.

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Saturday 12 November 2011

A Modern Break-Up

She was gone from Facebook. It was just like that. Access to the five years he spent with her were gone. He craved it. It would be enough just to see the 'Spain 2007' photo album, or 'New Years Eve 2009', but he was locked out. And she didn't update her Twitter anymore.

She was happy at first. She wanted him gone. But after a while she desperately needed to know the simplest of things: is he okay? Is he alive and breathing? He didn't update his Flickr account anymore. Did he stop his photography after she left? His last Twitter message from two months ago read: "Something new or anything" and she didn't know what it meant.

497 emails between them. He couldn't stop himself from reading them again and again. When he found love with her, the words flowed. He dropped out of studying fiction writing because he had nothing to say, but not when he emailed her, he shared his whole life; and she wrote wildly creative replies; so personal, so beautiful.

She wished she hadn't deleted the emails. She just wanted to touch their history, just reach into it. She was with someone else now and the photo albums told a different story, but she couldn't help but wonder where he was, and whether he'd found love. She unblocked him from Facebook.

He'd searched for her name like a million times before, but this time it showed up. He didn't know whether or not he should message her, but he noticed her lack of privacy settings and couldn't resist taking a closer look. He went straight to 'Spain 2007', but it wasn't there. Instead there was 'New York 2011' with some other guy. He blocked her this time and vowed never to go near her again.

She found out he'd started a blog about gaming. She read reviews of the latest games, hoping to read something between the lines, but it wasn't to be. And he wasn't searchable on Facebook anymore. She tweeted him "hope you're ok xx" and hoped for something, anything.

He wrote "fine" and then blocked her.

She wondered when he became such an asshole.

And he wondered why it hurt so much.

And she wasted a whole weekend listening to love songs on YouTube.

And he killed a few hundred people on Modern Warfare 3

And it was purely by chance, that sunny afternoon, when they crossed paths at the train station. He took out his headphones. She looked up from her Kindle.

The End.

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Back To Basics

Moving images excited people. It was fascinating to see something new. You'd turn a wheel and a picture would flicker and change.

And then there was the film camera. Babies cried and we wanted to help them. Trains rushed towards the screen and we had to dive out of the way. Something new and simple was all it took to set our souls racing.

D.W. Griffith told stories. Chaplin made us laugh and cry. We liked feeling things we'd never felt the same way before. We liked new experiences. The hills of Africa, the great gun fights of the West. The glorious romances.

Then something changed. Movie stars started chasing the attention, getting artistry mixed up with celebrity. They sold cigarettes and washing powder. We didn't just dream with Monroe and Reagan, we bought the soaps too. It was part of the American dream but it meant we lost something.

What we loved about 'Jaws' was the story. Spielberg knew this and took a dive after the first round. Others stuck around for the sequels and toys. We began to forget again that it's about the simple stories. They only want to make films if they can sell the junk too. Harry Potter got kids reading and it got their parents dreaming. That's the good part. But then we sell the mugs and t-shirts and toy figures, and the studios like it and see the money rolling in.

So we start to wonder what films will sell good toys. We get it all wrong again. The films suck and the toys suck and we wonder what the hell we're doing.

The things you hold dear from the movies are the stories. The image burned into your mind of Bogart is because of a story he told you in a movie you saw ten or thirty years ago, not because he sold you some Casablanca action figures.

Tell a good story. That's our job here.

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Build A Diverse Audience

Do you have to make it in Hollywood? Is that really your goal?

Film is a business. If your films earn more than they cost to make, people will invest in you. Everyone talks about 'making it' in Hollywood, but why?

If you have a blockbuster you need to make, then it's possible you need a film studio. Otherwise, maybe not.

If your film costs $100,000 to make, and your film earns $105,000 through distribution in Germany, you're a success.

People don't realize that potential audiences are everywhere. Speak to a Ukrainian or someone from Finland, they know all the characters from 'Friends' and they can list their top five Tom Hanks movies.

If you have subtitles for your short film, you'll instantly have a bigger audience. It's a bit of an effort, but maybe it's worth it? Maybe your friend from France can tell you about a French website that filmmakers use to get feedback on their movies. Maybe there's a forum where Japanese people are sharing films.

Good ideas travel across the world - especially if they're executed well. There's no need to limit yourself to thinking of America. Everyone recognizes Woody Allen but it's the Europeans who love him. They love those kinds of movies.

If you're trying to get the attention of Hollywood, you're doing the same thing as thousands of others. We're the iPad generation. It doesn't matter where the viewer is from, they all have access. You have a unique voice as an artist, and maybe that unique voice will fit the Danish sense of humor perfectly, or maybe your visual style with excite French audiences.

That's why film festivals are so important. You're making your work available to people like you. How many people in your home town truly 'get' you? Maybe two. How many people in the world 'get' you? Maybe five million. Go find them.

We live in diverse towns with people of all nationalities, colors, shapes and sizes. Hollywood doesn't cater for everyone. Sure, they have the numbers at the box office, they can get you a huge opening weekend, but can they get you a soulmate in Finland? Maybe they can, but maybe you can do that yourself.

Take an evening to research. Who is your audience? Where in the world do you want to reach? What cultures appreciate what you appreciate?

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Thinking Of You

I recently wrote a guest post at Tonja's Musings.

When you like someone it's scary isn't it. You like them and you wonder where they are and who they're thinking about at this precise moment in time. And the chances that it's you are so minimal.

And even if they're thinking of you they could be thinking of someone else too. Everyone is getting over someone and everyone is dreaming of their own thing.

The chances of it working out are too daunting to think about. When did it ever work out before?

You can read the full article here.

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