Sunday 5 June 2011

Rained Out

I thought a t-shirt would be fine. But this is England, and it rained.

Then again, of course it did. If you're ever in London and there's non-stop rain, you can be sure the Kid In The Front Row is shooting exteriors.

Not that anything got shot today. Money went down the drain as hours rolled by and we all stood around in tiny pockets of shelter from the London rain.

If you're shooting in London and want to go for a summer look, film in Spain. Edit out the beaches using CGI. That's how you can spot my films: set in gritty London but with bikini-clad Spanish women strolling by.

The rain just wouldn't stop today. It's that rain that soaks through every part of your body, and you don't get dry for days. But you're extremely hungry, so you eat your snacks even though the rain is soaking through your packet of salt & vinegar, and your coffee keeps filling up because the downpour is so heavy.

It was cold. I dressed for June. Mistake.

Care to share?

Thursday 2 June 2011

The Shawshank Redemption 2

Pitch me your ideas for the sequel. The best idea/funniest idea/idea that most intrigues me, will win a DVD copy of something in my collection that I want to get rid of (it's a bad prize, but then you're winning an award for planning a sequel to Shawshank, which makes you kind of evil).

Don't email me, put your ideas in the comments for all to see!

Care to share?

Wednesday 1 June 2011


It was recently reported in the major press, as well as the UK's The Daily Mail, that killer cucumbers and salads are sweeping across Europe and killing lots of people. I have decided to provide a helpful survival guide for those who are concerned that we may be seeing the bloodiest vegetable related conflict ever to sweep through our lands.

1. Do not do any sweeping with vegetables.

2. Do not enter into a conversation with a cucumber unless it is one you have spoken to previously.

3. It has been reported that Salads are also dangerous, although It's unknown precisely which style of salads. Some experts have warned that salads including iceberg lettuce with thousand island dressing may cause symptoms.

4. Killer cucumbers are especially dangerous if frozen and used as weapons.

5. Please be aware that it is not all cucumbers that are evil, only a very small minority of fundamentalists.

6. Wash ALL vegetables.

7. There are an estimated 783 billion vegetables on the planet at any one time, therefore, to wash ALL vegetables, we should start no later than 6am.

8. Do not blame vegetarians. They are to blame for many things but there is no evidence linking them to killer cucumbers.

9. Do not try and kill vegetarians with cucumbers (even if they preach about animal rights in an authoritative tone)

10. If you see a cucumber acting suspiciously, don't eat it.

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Marilyn Monroe

I just saw on Twitter that it's her birthday. I immediately went to find this YouTube video, which I've seen a heap of times.

It's weird how some people mean more to us. With Marilyn Monroe, like Charlie Chaplin; every time I see them, I feel a certain emotion, a certain connection, that I can't fully comprehend or explain. I remember liking Charlie Chaplin before I even liked Charlie Chaplin. I liked the idea of Chaplin. Of what he represented. Years later, I came to love his work, all of it, but it was hardly a surprise. It was meant to be. 

Elton nailed this song. And the YouTube member 'libysin' has done a perfect editing job. It just breaks your heart a little.  

The thing about Marilyn is that she was SO beautiful. And for the most part, always had a giant smile on her face. But we know how the story ends. It's not with a smile. Yet her smile is so truthful. It seeps right into you.

I don't even know what I'm saying. But I've watched the video three times on repeat. 

"Never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in." 

What a line. 

You can be the most beautiful and famous person in the world, but still, when you come at home at night and need a hug, you don't know who to trust. How can that be? Monroe was as human as the rest of us, but we expected more. I guess that's why it's a sad story. 

Marilyn is a symbol of everything that is beautiful. You don't have to be blonde and sexy to be beautiful; you just need to have a heart. We loved Marilyn's heart more than anything. 

"Goodbye Norma Jean, 

from the young man in the 22nd row, 
who sees you as something more than sexual, 
more than just our Marilyn Monroe".

Except it's not goodbye, because Marilyn Monroe will live forever.

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How Do You Consume Music These Days?

I am playing around with today, realizing I kind of missed the boat, everyone moved on to Spotify. I've ditched iTunes, and have gone through a period of ripping mp3's from videos on YouTube. But the audio quality is bad. And my CD's are gathering dust. 

I'm in transition. I love music, I just don't know how to listen to it. Gone are the days of radio, and gone is the joy of Napster when you'd wait an hour for a song to download, and gone is the CD album. 

I guess what I'm saying is that, as much as I love music, I'm not loving the experience of buying/stealing/listening right now, because I don't really know what I'm doing. I haven't found something that works for me. 

Where are you at?

Regardless of where you are at, personally, I think we are all in transition. The distribution of music is changing, and no-one quite knows how it's going to turn out. 

Care to share?