My dreams are a lot like movies. Badly written and often with terrible endings. Frustratingly, I am cast in most of them but have yet to receive a paycheck. I often feel like one of those over-worked silent film stars, made to shoot three films a day with actors who are vastly inferior to me.
One of the disappointing things in recent years has been how my imagination has often done remakes of old favourites. One of my best dreams was from 1999, the one where I fly to the shops to kiss Meg Ryan but get stuck in one place, unable to finish the journey. Annoyingly, it was remade in 2008, with me in the lead role again but this time with Hilary Clinton as the woman. This was bad enough, but two nights later I had the same dream again but Hilary was replaced by Albert Frickley, my local priest.
I feel as if maybe the funding for script development was cut in recent years, as my recent dreams have not been up to the standard of the previous classics. For example, last night I dreamt I was just waiting in line for ice cream. It lasted two hours. When I finally got to the front of the line, an elephant asked me why I dress like a cowboy. I told him I don't so he stole my money and made me wear a dress. I felt this was vastly unrealistic but I feel my complaints were not received well as the next night, as if by punishment, I had a dream that lasted for three hours. And it was a musical. And it was in Russian with no subtitles. This wouldn't have been so bad if they had not been out of popcorn.
My dreams are often stressful as, even though I broke up with Kate Nosefall two years ago, she still turns up in my dreams almost nightly. The plus side you may say is that at least these dreams are X-rated; but unfortunately I have no joy in watching my ex-girlfriend in bed with my local Priest.
Are your dreams like movies?
