I have nothing to say, but I want to write. Ever have that feeling?
So I'm just going to write.
I'm in the research stage for one project, I'm in post-production on another, and in the rehearsal stage for something else.
What I just wrote makes me sound productive but a huge part of me always feels like I'm doing nothing.
The research stage for a writing assignment is actually quite exciting, because you sense the possibilities. In your research you dig for juice, dig for things that resonate.
Post-production is tricky. Editing is like a half eaten box of chocolates. You don't have all the flavors you want, but there are still some great ones in there. During filming you lose some of your vision but you gain the vision of your collaborators and somewhere therein lies the art. That's filmmaking.
The rehearsal was just for a little side project, a piece of fun. We worked through it on Skype. Was enjoyable but my internet connection always goes crazy during Skype calls, I'm sure it does it on purpose. The conversations start getting ten second delays, if not longer. Maybe I should make a time travelling Skype movie.
I found time to go for a run today. How to motivate yourself? Run towards a cinema. It worked for me. I saw "Tower Heist". And then I jogged home. It was a long run. My legs were angry because they weren't expecting to work so hard, but that's the way it goes.
"Tower Heist" is watchable enough. That's all I have to say about it.
I was having a meal with Anna yesterday in Primrose Hill. I say 'with Anna' as if you all know who she is, but you don't, at least; I assume you don't. Anyway, I had dinner with Anna, who's an actress, and we were talking about friendship and work. It's interesting, because so often the lines of friendship are confused when you both work in the industry. How much of it is real and how much of it is done for the sake of wanting a role in a movie or something similar? It's tricky.
I was explaining a thing that always bugs me-- how many actors I've known have claimed we have a 'Special relationship', they say things like "I'm the Keaton to your Woody Allen!".
People want to be on the inside, they want you to feel like you've got a special relationship, because then you're more likely to give them work. But when it comes down to it, there's no special relationship, they don't put the work in, they just want it to seem that way.
I have maybe four friends in the industry (Anna is one of them) who I'm happy to say we have that kind of relationship, because pretty much every day we consult each other on our decisions (creatively and practically), and we make the effort to help each others projects. Many people say they want involvement, want to do the work, but for most people it's just a thing they say.
I tried watching 'The Exorcist' tonight but it was so darn slow. I don't remember it being this slow?
My best writing comes when I'm caught somewhere between conscious thought and dreaming. It's a magical place that I can't always get to. Right now, I'm nowhere near it. I'm stuck in the real world. It's exciting though, waiting for that trigger. I never know what it will be, but when it comes, the writing is better.
I've had what I felt were special relationships with people I worked with, true connections, not sexual ones and not for anyone's gain. When I left my job, they completely evaporated. Not so special after all. It has taken me a long time to accept that.ReplyDelete