Monday 2 August 2010

The Kid In The Front Row Guide To Dating Actresses

Don't do it.

Care to share?


  1. When I saw the headline for this in my reader feed, I was able to guess the entire article. Actually, my article was two words shorter.

  2. When you're young and still pursuing needless drama in your life, dating actresses is what you did before reality shows existed. They walk around believing there's a spotlight on them, that they're starring in the movie of their life every moment.

    Same for douchebag actors, I supppose.

  3. haha, it's always the anonymous posts that are fascinating!

  4. What, not even Christina Hendricks?

  5. ::sigh::

    Sometimes I get very frustrated when I read your blog. I get that this is meant in good humor, which I can totally roll with. But it's also based off stereotypes and caricatures of real people and you seem to be interested (most of the time) in using your blog to dispel stereotypes and myths about the industry, and break down barriers and misunderstandings. You are usually very good about treating people like individuals and tend to avoid lumping people into groups.

    Why perpetuate it all over again just for a few laughs? Would your actress friends (which I know you have) appreciate you saying that about them?

  6. Hi Phoenix,

    First of all, I'm genuinely sorry if I have offended you or you find this post to be in bad taste.

    But it is also just a joke. If you see this as a gender-based joke, then I see what you're saying but I think that a lot of energy is wasted or misdirected when we see jokes as the problem, especially in the area of gender, or indeed, actresses.

    A joke about actresses is just a joke about actresses. I am happy to generalise and say that most of them are talented, most of them are wonderful people - and also, I'd like to make a joke about them being undateable. Whether you think I am making a joke about the actresses or a joke about 'people like me' who can't handle an actress, that's for you to decide.

    There's this joke I love. "What's the difference between a camera assistant and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four."

    That joke generalises camera assistants everywhere. But it's funny.

    I think jokes around gender can be vicious, and oppressive. I really didn't see this in that light, but if it was, then I'm truly sorry. It was such a simple (and admittedly not very funny) joke, and such a huge generalisation, that it seemed harmless to me, and still does. But you are a really valued reader/commenter here, I always love your input -- so, I'm sorry to have pissed you off. Unfortunately, I can't promise you everything I say will be agreeable because I think we spend too much time, and too much energy, not saying the things we want to say and tip-toe-ing around everything-- take for example this joke, and your reaction, they've opened a door and allowed you to share a view and me to share a view. And all because of a lousy joke. Which is worse? It's better to have the joke, surely, because it allows for dialogue. I would hate it if I was seen to be oppressive to women with my humour but also, I would hate to oppress free speech and the dream of wider discussions.

  7. Thanks for explaining, Kid. I appreciate hearing your point of view.

    I was definitely interpreting it as a gender thing vs a vocation thing and I will be the first to admit that I already have a trigger about that, living in a town that loves to make fun of actresses for weighing too much, weighing too little, being "slutty", being demanding on set, or simply being insane in their personal lives.

    Meanwhile I am racking my brain to remember the last time an article focused on a male actors' weight, the last time People magazine lined up a bunch of male actors and rated in a humiliating way what each guy was wearing at an award's show, or why an actor friend of mine, whom I consider to be fairly enlightened, opined about Mel Gibson's domestic abuse that "Nobody just hits a woman for no reason. There must have been something she did. We all know how annoying actresses are..."

    It's clearly my issue and you hit a sensitive note that you didn't intend. I just needed to clarify that you didn't mean it as a dig towards women but rather towards a profession.

    Thanks for listening :)

  8. Phoenix, thanks again. And I am not entirely innocent in this situation, there were connotations of gender in the joke, so you're not wrong, at all.

    Please email me, by the way, I am going to be writing a bunch of articles soon on gender and your input would be very helpful to me..

  9. "It's clearly my issue and you hit a sensitive note that you didn't intend" - I don't think that's true, it's only 'your issue' because of these issues, because of the things men and women do to each other. Especially, I think, from men to women and we need to start taking accountability for that.

  10. Very timely. I was just thinking about dating an actress-- OR writing a new script for her-- Which would you advise?