Friday 30 October 2009
When you allow yourself to be who you are.
I call myself a writer, but often you will find me working some job I loath, or doing some camera work, or arguing with people in the street, or justifying myself to people -- you know how it is-- it's like, I got talking to this waitress the other day, and I said "how long have you worked here?" and she said "two years. But I do Real Estate too.." I could totally sympathise with what she was doing; which was feeling the need to validate herself as more than a waitress (which I never doubted, by my question could well have seemed judgemental.) It's the same with writers all across the world. People say "oh wow, you're really great at sweeping the streets," and the writers say "thanks, but there's also some producer who is maybe interested in reading my script!"
So, I live in London. But right now, I am in New York. I am doing only the things I love. I am Directing a short film I wrote, I am writing a feature screenplay, and I have a film in a festival over here. When I'm not writing, I am hanging out with friends and meeting cool new people. That weight of expectation, validation and responsibility has been lifted. I get to be a successful writer - I get to be exactly who I want to be, who I sometimes am. Hell, I get to be who I really am.
And it's so important - I recommend it. Whether it means jumping on a plane, or whether it means renting a hotel room local to you and hiding out there and writing... find a way to do what you do, to be who you are. Find a place; be it a physical place or a mental place inside yourself - and be who you are. Be a writer. Believe it, feel it and be it. You'll feel a lot younger and a lot more inspired. All you have to do is give yourself permission, and find a world where you don't need to justify yourself - where you're freed from creative oppression both internal and external.
You can currently find me walking around the streets of New York, fuelling my imagination for many future projects.