It's Only In My Head

I'm free associating. Getting the junk out. What junk? So much junk. Maybe by writing I'll find clarity. That happens sometimes, right? Actually, it's happened to me many times. But it's also happened that I've written heaps and heaps and then nothing, nada, no good.

The thing for a writer is that you're convinced you must create anew because everything that came before sucked.

And this was meant to be free association, but now I'm rambling about writing.

What else do you want me to talk about? The imaginary you, that I picture reading this, would say, "anything but writing; go have an insight about elephants, or the moon, or triangles, you can't keep writing about writing you big fraud."

Not that a writer can ever be a fraud. If I write something and you read it, I'm a writer. But with so much dedication to writing, your brain becomes conditioned to focus on writing.

And reading about writing.
And writing about reading.
And reading about reading.
And writing about writing.

It needs life in it.
 
So do I just go chasing after some girl I hardly know because that's where the life is at? How do I make it about the life, and not the writing? And is there any difference? Sometimes I wish I was a beat poet from the 50's; out there on the streets just taking in all that happened under the big dark night and turning out pages with fervour.

Writing gets prioritised above everything else. But that's the Catch 22; you can't have good writing without life, and you can't have a good life when you're constantly writing. 

It takes so long to get great, you need to be practising every chance you get. Everyone is outside looking up at the buildings and you're inside, never leaving them.

But sometimes you feel you're getting dead inside. You feel like you've written out every part of you a thousand times over.

But we evolve and change and grow and rust; there's always something new to dig in to.

But how soon do you dig? Do you dig the moment you feel it, or do you let it grow? Wouldn't it be great to have an experience and not write about it until 50 years have gone by? Unfortunately, the moment I feel some thing of novelty or uniqueness, I throw it down on the page --- a script, a story, a tweet, a blog!

Sometimes I dream of living just to live, without the writing. And I realise how narcissistic this sounds to non-writers. But I am how I am and what can I do about it?

Maybe take writing less seriously.

Most of the time I do. The majority of my writing is silliness and jokes.

Ignore what I just said, because comedy is the thing I take the most serious of all. Getting comedy right is so difficult and such a craft. When I or anyone else nails it, it's amazing. That's why most of the time when you read a funny story or go see a comedy at the cinema, you don't laugh -- because it's so hard to do properly.

My brain says "you must write" and "you must stop writing" at exactly the same time. It makes me reach for the distractions, the addictions; thank God my addictions are caffeine and the internet. They're the most lovely and acceptable ways to rot your brain.

I will write a masterpiece, one of these days. Either that or I'll never write anything of interest to anyone.

Ain't that what sits in every writer's head at the back of everything?

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Writing

I was thinking about how much of it comes from the heart. How much of it comes from needing to express something.

And how much of it comes from that nagging voice inside that cries "write write write!" like a broken record.

I write an astonishing amount, you have no idea. I am always working on scripts, articles, blogs, short stories, humorous status updates, lengthy email rants, and whatever else comes up. It's a constant. I have a group of friends who receive mini-fictional things from me on a near daily basis. I know it's not my best material, but they're very polite about it.

It's weird because those who know me think I just joyfully whip these pieces out of nowhere, just for fun. But so much of it is anything but.

I am writing this close to midnight. So many of my blogs come not out of creativity, but out of a constant voice in me that yells "write damnit write!". It's a constant pressure that, after years of being tweaked and improved, is able to force pretty good material out of me.

But it's not my best. The best comes when I let go, when I get away from my brain, when I experience new things, when genuinely new and unexpected insight comes.

Of course, this is very rare. I get too caught up in being 'the writer' and forget to live.

More often than not, these days, I have to talk myself out of writing; I write outwardly like I take caffeine inwardly -- it's an addiction. I force it out. So often I'm ten pages into a script or two paragraphs into a blog without even realising I've started them. It's like brushing my teeth, it just happens.

In many ways this helps me succeed as a writer.. I've put the hours of practice in. I got good. I can create material quick.

But pushing too much makes me lose the passion, it zaps the fun out of it, makes it harder to find the innocence and life in my words. Ambition, drive, work-rate, they're all great, but they can be destructive too.

I don't sleep. So much of that is because I think I've wasted the day and not created a masterpiece. So I stay up hatching some plan, which of course turns out to be terrible, because I'm so worn out by my crazy brain which screams "write, write, write" every moment of every second.

It takes discipline to write but it also takes discipline to not write.

I just wanted to share a bit about my crazy writer's issues, I hope you found it interesting.

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Creative Stuckness, Continued..

TONJA: For me, it's just family, the mommy-gig, getting in the way finding time to write and keeping up my momentum on writing projects. On the other hand, the pressure of having only a few hours a week to write definitely moves me forward. I don't waste those hours.

Tonja, first of all; it sounds like you're doing really well! For so many, the 'Mommy-gig' is the death of their writing pursuits. "I would have been a writer but...", or "When the kids grow up, then maybe I'll...".

You should give yourself a huge pat on the back for still being a part of the game! You write when you can, you read sites like these that are linked to your work. Do you give yourself the credit you deserve for all this?

The hardest thing for nearly all writers, is discipline. It seems that you have it, because you know your writing time is precious and short. Maybe try and develop that a bit more -- try to find a time of day, or certain day of the week, when you'll focus your energy on the writing, and then dedicate yourself to it. 

But it sounds like you're doing better than you think. 

BRUCE: I'm getting more ideas lately for things to write about but I have a problem with getting distracted. If I can just finish this level on a game I'm playing. If I can finish this movie I started watching last night. 

The real problem is I need to commit to sitting down to write more often and I'd like an editor to go over my work. I'm too wordy and I need help getting my point out in a shorter fashion. HELP!

Bruce, I totally get this. 

Firstly, the distractions. Allow yourself to be distracted! Say "This next hour will be for the distractions!" --- indulge in it... watch half a movie, flick around on Facebook, snack on food, text your friends, do all that nonsense; but do it willingly and happily, not guiltily, not like you should be doing better. This is your NONSENSE TIME! 

Also, find time to relax! Turn everything off and listen to your favourite album or watch a film you love, but dedicate yourself to completing it. NO DISTRACTIONS FROM IT, even if it's painful. Even if your brain begs you. Get through it. 

Have some NOTHING time. Sit in a room, put a countdown alarm on for ONE HOUR. Sit, breath, think. DO NOT write, do NOT record any ideas you have, no matter how good they are (during this nothing time, even writing ideas are distractions!). 

---- And, as a separate exercise; have your writing time, your creativity time. Dedicate yourself to seeing it through, do not succumb to distractions. 

The reason for all these different things I've mentioned? We get CAUGHT up in ambition so much so that we refuse to rest. We NEED rest, so we keep trying to rest and be distracted. But whenever we do, we feel guilty, so we force creativity. It doesn't last long, because we're so TIRED!. 

We need to dedicate to each stage of creative life. CREATIVITY, REST, NONSENSE, etc -- they all play a part! Do each of them CONSCIOUSLY and purposefully. 

Neuroscience is proving that the brain follows patterns of behaviour, habits. If we have a habit of getting distracted, we'll keep doing it and doing it and nothing will change.

Break that pattern. Decide what to do, consciously, and stick to it, see it through. The more you do, the easier it'll get. 

DANIEL: Ok, for me it's that I've got loads of writing, which I really WANT to do and am doing, but I also feel I OUGHT to be making short films (which I don't feel passionate about doing right now). So I am worried that if I just carry on with the writing and don't do any directing for a bit, I'll 'miss out' on some directing practice.

Who is the voice of this 'OUGHT'? Is it the wisdom you've heard from a director you admire, or a screenwriting book you read? Why does this voice have so much authority? Question it! And then see what resonates with you. You could make fifty films but how good will they be if you don't know how to write good scripts? Learning comes from all places, it's all relevant and valid. If your juice is getting going for the writing, then do the writing! 

Before you know it, the directing bug will be back and you'll do three short films in a month or something crazy like that. Go where the river is flowing! 

DONNA: Oh wow, there's a lot. I think all artists go through dry spells, not sure there's any real "cure" for that, other than time, patience and willpower. For me it's lack of focus and my own insecurities. When I finally do sit down and write, I keep going back over it tweaking and trying to make it better until I convince myself it's not good at all.

Dry spells would be fine, if only we'd be okay with them. Instead we fight them and get grumpy and think about quitting. Enjoy the process!

Lack of focus is a big one. I think it's often linked to what I wrote about BRUCE'S problem, about the mind being in too many places at once. You often need to step away to get focus, indulge in the things that are affecting your clarity. 

The important thing with writing; is to get the thing written! Go full steam ahead and save the criticism for much later. There's no rule that says your 1st draft must be golden. It's allowed to be awful! You've just to get to the other side, get through it. Otherwise you'll keep re-wording and re-drafting forever and ever. 

Insecurities affect every artist I know, whether they're starting out with short films or directing Hollywood blockbusters. It's part of being creative. If you're not insecure, your art probably isn't that interesting. 

Make sure you remind yourself of your successes. Of how you're better prepared and qualified than you were two years ago, or ten years ago. Creativity is a process that takes time, it has many ups and downs, we just need to hold on to why we started a project and why we want to finish. 

Re: convincing yourself it's no good at all. Compared to what? Compared to your favourite writing? Compared to what you think you're capable of? Or compared to what a friend/parent/partner thinks? Figure out who you're writing for, who the judge is (in your mind), then tell them to back off! It's just writing, it's art, and we only write well when there's an element of fun and energy to it. 


Go Where The River Is Flowing! My new catchphrase!

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Writing Update

Dear Diary,

I recently had trouble remembering where to place, comma's but luckily I now, remember! I have been finding it, hard to write, material, properly as I'm always so excited!! I feel like everything should have exclamation marks!! What do! you think?!

reverse in sentences Writing? Good idea or not!? Hard to, tell. I am developing my own, style!!!! He was also considering writing in the third person. What about if I write in the fourth person? That's fine but how would we all fit in the room?

I've, also! been feeling constrained by the alphabet. I developed a 27th character, but can't find the key for it. Frustrating!!!,

He will be writing! soon more,

Kid

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KRISTEN WIIG in 'BRIDESMAIDS' - The WRITING and ACTING of 'ANNIE WALKER'

There was a lot of hype about 'Bridesmaids' when it came out. Article after article about how it was going to change the industry. But just because a few black men are in politics now, it doesn't mean hundreds of years of institutional racism vanish. Likewise, the fact that a few male producers enabled two women to write a movie and have a female cast; it doesn't mean it's suddenly an even playing field.

But I wish it was. Because women are great at making movies. They're great when they step out of the restrictive chick-flick genre; because when films like 'Sex & The City' get made, I'd rather keep male privilege rolling for another hundred years. But films like 'Bridesmaids' and 'Whip It' - to give two examples (albeit light-comedy examples) show that there is a whole voice missing from cinema, a whole gender's perspective to be truly explored. The history of cinema is, by and large, the history of male storytelling.

In June 2009 I wrote a blog called 'Men Only' in which I said, among other things, "I love women on screen, they're an important part of films; but it's very rare that I find them interesting enough to carry a film as the lead. What's that about?"

And I want you to know I fully retract everything I said in that article. I was wrong, and my views have changed considerably.

A perfect example of great acting is Kristen Wiig in 'Bridesmaids'.



When you're watching a comedy, you rarely think about its complexity. You just have a good time and wait for the next laugh to come. Wiig's character, Annie Walker, was amazingly written and acted; a stunning performance from the lead actress. Not only is it worth noting -- I think it's worth exploring further.

Annie Walker was vulnerable and fragile throughout the whole film. At the beginning we find out that her business attempt, opening a bakery during the recession, has failed. When it did, her boyfriend left. Her best friend is getting married and her love life consists of casual sex with a man who doesn't listen to her, doesn't care about her needs, and doesn't want her sticking around for the night.

You cling on to anything when you're down. Annie clings on to her best friend, Lillian (Maya Rudolph) who is also getting married. There's a touching scene when Lillian announces she's getting married and asks Annie to be the bridesmaid. Of course, she says yes -- but only seconds later, as Lillian chats on the phone to her fiance we see Annie sitting there trying to hide her loneliness.

The supporting characters in a film all give us information about the main character. It's done to maximum effect in this film when the gorgeous, rich, youthful and seemingly perfect Helen immediately makes Annie feel bad about herself. With just a look in her eyes we can see she feels old and under threat. We can all relate to it. We've all had a friend bring along a new friend and we feel all threatened and insecure about their in-jokes.

Wiig is noted for her comedic talents, which are undeniable. But the core of this movie is actually carried by her dramatic abilities. Those moments in between the laughs -- little snapshots of her character that lived outside of the writing.

A great example is the scene where she makes a cupcake in her apartment. She takes the time to make a perfect cake, which she bakes and decorates to perfection. She places it carefully on the table, on its own ---- before picking it up and scoffing it down herself. What a great, unique way to show loneliness! Lesser writers would have had her calling someone up and saying 'I'm lonely' or listening to 'All By Myself' -- here we just have her eating a cupcake, and it tells us everything.

I can't think of any other character in recent film history who shows the anxiety of insecurity and fear as well as Annie Walker does here. The writers really kept hitting this home, scene after scene. The airplane scene, renowned for her hilarious drunkenness and for Megan's (Melissa McCarthey's) conversation with the Air Marshall; also carries a lot of dramatic weight in that in cements the gap that is increasing between Annie and her best friend, which is being made worse by the fact Lillian and Helen are getting closer and closer as friends (due to her failings). They are in first class, while she is stuck in coach.

After Annie's mad, drunken behavior on the plane; Lillian suggests that maybe being the Bridesmaid is too much for her. Of course; this is the thing she'd always feared. Of not being enough, of not being able to do a good job, of not being able to be a great friend. That's what insecurity does, renders you ineffective and makes your worst fears come true. It's that vulnerability that Wiig manages to portray so truthfully. 

The sadness of the character is what makes it so compelling. It's what grips you. The funny situations she gets in have a weight to them because they're rooted in realism, no matter how absurd they are. We can relate. I can relate, and I'm a man. That's why all this men-only-in-leading-roles is bullshit, because we're all human beings, and our problems are universal.

The writing takes a great turn in that she begins to get what she needs: a good man (Chris O'Dowd as Officer Nathan Rhodes). Yet she runs from it. Can't handle it. Things have been going wrong for so long, what the hell do you do when something right comes along? There's a simple scene afterwards when she phones Lillian and says she doesn't have a clue what she's doing, it's the most truthful moment of the movie. Truthful because, in life, so often we don't know what we're doing. 

After all this -- she's lost. Lost her center, the thing that makes her herself. She loses her job in the jewelry store after calling a customer a cu*t, she's ignoring Nathan (without really knowing why), and she's asked to move out by her English roommates. What makes it so satisfying, dramatically, is that we feel for her -- she's a good woman, doing her best; yet again and again she's failing. We can all relate to it because that's how the world works.

Comedy is better when you relate to it, when it has reality as a basis. Or not even as a basis, it just needs something in there that's authentic. That's why 'The Other Guys' sucked. Absurd is fine, but you need a center; a place to jump off from. 'Bridesmaids' took care of these details and that's why it's superior to most of the comedies of recent years.

Then there's the bridal shower, which she's invited to despite being demoted from her Bridesmaid duties. She's a good friend and a proud person, so she makes sure she's there. She loves her friend. We see this when she gives her a present, a touchingly personal gift -- a collection of things from back home in Milwaukee, along with a photo montage from their younger days.

And then rich-and-perfect Helen buys Lillian a trip to Paris; an idea which stemmed from a conversation with Annie about how much Lillian likes Paris. Annie is heartbroken -- it's an extremely bitchy and manipulative move from Helen; which we the audience can see, and our hero Annie can see -- but the guests at the party can't. 

What follows is Annie going absolutely crazy; wrecking the garden and smashing things to pieces. It's a hilarious yet cringeworthy scene; but powerful because we feel her sense of injustice. Yet dramatically, she's ruining her best friend's wedding experience. The complex blend of comedy, sadness, and the righteousness of the other characters is brilliantly handled.




The Writing of the film, by Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, with the watchful eye of Judd Apatow; is the core of what makes this film great. Each event, each scene, drives Annie further and further away from her best friend, and from herself. It's rooted in truth; we can relate to what's happening because we'd want to react just like she does. Even the parts of the film that are over the top and ridiculous, we're still there-- because the characters are so true. 


It's the acting of the film that brings it home. The best actors are able to do two opposite things on screen. It's why people pay Robert Downey Jr so much money, and it's why we all loved Jack Lemmon. Kristen Wiig has a touch of that magic. She knows how to get the laugh -- years at the Groundlings Theatre, and live SNL performances, and the multitude of ridiculous jobs before she 'made it' have helped shape the comedic talent that she is. What makes her performance in 'Bridesmaids' stand out, is how layered it is. We laugh at the comedy, but it's the heart and honesty we connect with. 

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The Idea That Floats Out There Somewhere

That little seed of an idea floats its way over to you-- you get a feeling, you get a character, you get a journey, you get a problem. Do you grab at it now? Do you throw it down on paper? Or do you let it grow? If you let it grow will you forget something? If you write it down will you stop the process unfolding naturally in you?

You get this strange sense that this feeling you have, that is shaped by an idea in your head and a beat in your heart; you feel this could be the script you're meant to write. But these ideas disappear so fast-- it's hard to know, are they really there? Do you really know what they mean? Do you know how to write them?

This idea in your head is perfect. It's only about seven seconds long. It's not even a film, or a script; it's not even really an idea - it's just an impulse.. but it's beautifully formed. And the minute you trap it, hold it, or grab it; something gets lost. So what to do with this wonderful idea?

I guess that's the eternal question. How, as writers, do we give them ideas space, and at the same time put them where they belong on the page? It's a lifelong challenge, and we rarely get it right.

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Discipline & Creativity - Am I Doing Everything I Can?

Am I getting up at a set time?

Do I have informative, fascinating and useful film podcasts on my iPod for while I'm travelling?

Do I Have Inspiring Music To Listen To?

Have I Set Goals For The Day?

Am I going to write today?

Am I going to keep full awareness of all the time I lose browsing on Facebook & refreshing Gmail?

Am I going to avoid negative people or at least cut down our conversations drastically?

Am I going to stand up for what I believe?

Am I going to be confident about my writing?

Am I certain of what I feel, before going into the meeting?

Am I eating well?

Am I hydrated?

Have I taken a moment to breath?

Am I wasting time watching bullshit on TV?

Am I going to ask if I need help?

Am I able to believe in myself?

Am I able to build awareness around my insecurities and the areas where I lack confidence?

Am I going to make that phone call I've been avoiding?

Am I going to reply to work-related emails immediately?

Am I just going to sit here or am I going to do the thing I said I'd do thirty minutes ago?

Am I going to go the extra mile when it comes to collaboration?

Am I going to support other people with their projects?

Am I going to be fearless?

Am I taking full responsibility for how good or bad my day is?

Am I wasting time moaning about someone, something, or someplace, when instead I could be taking action to improve the situation?

Am I Having A Good Day?

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Interview With Actor, Writer & Comedian David Schneider.

If you live in the UK, chances are you recognize the face of David Schneider. If something funny is on the TV, it's likely that he's involved in it. The impressive thing about him is that he's also been sneaking onto the big screen and working with some of the best directors in the business such as Woody Allen and Danny Boyle.

As well as acting, David has also written numerous projects such as the feature film 'All The Queen's Men' and the BBC children's series 'Uncle Max.' I caught up with him this week to discuss how he first got started in the industry, how he deals with writers block -- and we took a closer look at some of his best work, as well as some of the stranger moments - for example, how Ikea flat-packing almost ruined a handshake with Woody Allen.

If you are a writer, an actor, or love comedy - this is essential reading.


How did you start out in the industry, you started doing stand up is that right?

Well my actual first job was as an actor at the National Theatre. I had done a bit of comedy at University, not so much stand up as sort of characters and sort of falling over really, visual comedy. But I did acting as well, and it was a very specific circumstance where they were doing a play at the National and needed a Yiddish speaking cabaret performer under eighty, and I was basically the only one in the country who fitted that bill.

So initially I was an actor and then I did stand up and because of the people I knew from University like Armando Iannucci. That's how I got more into comedy.

Was comedy always the thing you were interested in, or was it acting..

Yeah, well - comedy was always a thing I had a particular gift for, but I enjoy acting as well. But I suppose I've got a face for comedy shall we say.

Who are your biggest influences would you say, comedically?

The towering person who has influenced me is Woody Allen. He's the person who I love the most and have admired the most. And I actually got to work with him..

I was going to ask you about that. How was it? Did you get to talk to him much?

Well he's not a talkative chap.

I did get very excited about meeting people and saying "he doesn't even say hello to you," and "he just gets on with the job," but um-- I was really excited, and I shook his hand, which I shouldn't have done because I'd been doing Ikea flat-packing the day before and I had a blister on my hand. So I feel there was a bit of extra suction as our hands separated, which, knowing him, he'd be over-neurotic about.

But professionally it was marvellous. He gave me a bit of direction during the scene that I thought 'yeah, you know so much more than me'. And it's great, y'know, when you've been knocking around the business for a while to work with someone who clearly is in a Premier League to your League One.

I think as well, you may have been in the last film he'll act in. Because since 'Scoop,' I think, there's been no sign of him acting.

Yeah, no that's right. I mean he might have another go but I think 'Scoop' wasn't the greatest of successes, but I don't take that personally. But yeah, I hadn't thought about that.


You've written a lot as well, which I think a lot of people may not know about you. Do you see yourself as much as a writer as an actor?

Yeah I sort of do both and there's times when I'm doing more writing and times when I'm doing more acting. And the trick for me is to combine the two, I also direct as well. And y'know, it's not easy, and sometimes I think I should focus on one but I do enjoy doing both and get different things out of doing both, so um, I think - I don't know how I would advise younger people, but I think it's important to focus sometimes.

How is it when you've written something, like 'All The Queens Men' - how is it when it goes off and someone else directs that?

It's hard to let go of things but you have to learn to let that happen. I think part of, well -- my goal is to be like a Woody Allen who has total control and can direct his own thing. But then, what's great if you get someone who's good is they can add to your work and then there's things that you can't see that they can. And I think some of the flaws in some people who become so successful is that they don't listen to anyone else. They write and perform and sometimes direct their own stuff- is they don't, you know they don't have anyone to say "actually you shouldn't do that."

So that's the advantage of working with other people. It is great to work with other people if they're any good, but the truth of the business is sometimes you have to hand your work over to other people who have a different vision from you, shall we say, and that can be hard.

I remember when I was in a play that I'd written at the Hampstead theatre a few years ago - I was acting opposite someone who I felt wasn't delivering my lines quite right. And having that battle in my head, going 'I've got to concentrate on the acting', rather than suffering each time he delivered that joke slightly wrong.

That's more of a thing in comedy I'd imagine, right? Because comedy can be such a specific thing, in the way you write a line.

Yes, yes. It's more obvious in comedy, if a line is meant to get a laugh and it doesn't, it's more of a binary thing isn't it where you can actually sort of, one, zero, did it get a laugh or didn't it.

But I think in serious work, in drama, you can still think 'ah, that's drawn out.' So, certainly it's clearly in comedy but I think it applies to all genres.

It's really great to see when you get to work with a really great actor. Like, recently I was watching the scene in 'I'm Alan Partridge' at the dinner table, when Alan is trying to get a second series.

Yes.

And that was such a perfect scene, so funny. When you're working with someone like Steve Coogan and with such great material, it must be a lot easier for you I'd imagine.

I was so spoilt in the 90's because I worked with such brilliant people, such inventive people, and people who just knew comedy so well. So it was a joy - a joy to go to work and know that you might nearly lose control of your bladder or in two cases actually lose control of your bladder just through rehearsals.

Steve's a very generous performer. If the laugh is to be yours, he'll allow it. And he'll improvise something that is so true to the character, and that's just very exciting at the time. So I feel, y'know, those were great because I was with such talented people, you can be spoilt.

Looking at 'Uncle Max' that you did with the BBC - how did that come about?

Umm, well I wanted to do, before I was too old and falling to pieces too much, a visual cartoon, a human cartoon - and I wanted to do stuff for kids.

It happened quite quickly in fact, thankfully - because, y'know, I am getting older. So, yeah-- it's been great and I'm proud of what we did there and the kids seemed to like it.


Is this something you had more creative control over having written it and performed in it as well, or was there a director who....

There was a director, and I was very lucky in the directors that I had, in that they were very very competent creatively and technically. But also that they were infinitely patient with my control-freakery.

I mean I do feel that, y'know, visual comedy is a very specific skill in how it should look. I mean the thing that makes me tear my hair out on television is stuff like 'Britain's Got Talent,' which I confess I do like. When they shoot a dance act and they keep cutting to different angles and cutting close, but really they should just stick it on a wide shot and let it happen.

I would nag my director's sometimes to , um-- if I felt..

To keep it simple.

Yeah but you know, I was very lucky that I had two different directors but both of them were very talented and nice as well, so it was good.

Is Chaplin an influence for you? I thought 'Uncle Max' had a Chaplin quality to it.

Yeah. Well I love Chaplin but above all I love Laurel and Hardy. Chaplin had an innocence, and so do Laurel and Hardy but um, it was Laurel and Hardy I really tuned it to as a kid. I like to think 'Uncle Max' is a cross between Laurel and Hardy and a cartoon. Well, that's what I aim for I mean obviously we have such limited finances and I would never ever compare myself to them.

I love the timing. There are bits of Uncle Max where I think, like that timing before the shoe falls on his head at the end is just like a Laurel and Hardy bit. And Buster Keaton, I do like Buster Keaton.

What is the writing process like for you.. does it come easily or do you struggle with it?

Err, yesterday being the first day back at school, it was a nightmare. But if you'd asked me this any other day of the year I would say no no it's alright, I don't really have writers block. But having just suffered the January 4th moment, it doesn't always come easily.

But you've got to be excited about what you're writing. Sometimes you take commissions. I've been quite lucky that I haven't had to take commissions, I can generate my own work and then that's always something where I'm going oh that'd be great, oh I love this character, I love that idea. And as long as you're doing that, things tend to flow. If you're not enjoying your idea, that's where you tend to get stuck.

But no doubt writers block happens and there are times when you have to leave the desk. I know how to trick my writers block now. I just say "yeah, I'm just going to have a shower.." and normally the block relaxes then and then, in the shower I have an idea, and think oh that's funny.

Or during the night, which is tricky.

It's always frustrating isn't it. You get an idea and 3am and you know you have to get up and write it.

Yeah yeah, and you write it down and sixty percent of the ideas are awful, but that's just part of the territory I think.

So can you tell us a bit about what you're working on now?

Well I'm finishing a draft of a film I've wanted to write for ten, fifteen years and I've always been too busy, so I said "I've got to write this film." I don't want to give too much away but it's kind of Woody Allen meets Charlie Kaufman.

It's sort of early Woody Allen and romantic, but y'know, Charlie Kaufman so it's really quirky and plays with concepts of time and stuff. It's either genius or mid-life wank. And I really don't know which one it is.

Have you shown it to anyone yet?

I'm about to print out a copy and show it to my girlfriend, she'll certainly tell me if it's mid-life wank.

Risky.

I know yeah. She'll show me by packing her bag and going. I'm not sure, it's not going to be just alright. It's either going to be awful or brilliant.

Well, let's hope.. When you finish a screenplay what do you do with it then? I guess you've built up contacts through the years.

Well my agent helps me. And I've just got an LA agent now and she will hopefully take the script to people out there. With TV I know lots of people, y'know, yeah you do built up contacts through the work over the years. Getting an agent, a good agent is the main thing.

Can I ask - would you rather direct the film yourself on a small budget or get the giant paycheck and let someone in Hollywood have a go?

Oh my god [laugh], have you been in my head for the last six months just listening to what's going on? Yeah, that's a very difficult question.

I'm realizing that I'm not someone who can go round and hack people for money and schmooze. So I'd love to make it myself I will probably have to accept that's not going to happen. But yeah, we'll see. If it is genius, then I might be able to get some money behind me.

But you meet people who are directing their own films and they put three or four years of intense meetings and schmoozing to get the finance together. I don't know if I could do that.

Okay, well - finishing up really. With acting, there's so many, thousands of actors. When I'm making a short film even, and I put out an ad, I get hundreds of applications from actors - they really struggle to stand out, to y'know, show people what they can do. Do you have any advice for them?

I mean it is very hard. I mean, you've got to have self-belief. And you do have to take risks. If you find yourself going 'oh that person would never see me' don't- don't eliminate yourself from the casting process. let them eliminate you. Send that email that doesn't get replied to.

I think part of the battle for any creative person is um, not to reject themselves.

Oh, definitely.

'Oh there's no way that Director would ever see me.' So just go for it.

Not let your inner-critic put you down.

Exactly, I would certainly say that.

28 Days Later, I thought that was quite interesting. A different role for you as well.

Yeah, yeah I think; I was really pleased to get that because it was, y'know, about as serious as you can get. And because it was such an intense role I sort of feel it met, it almost came around the other dark side of the comedy moon. It was almost comedic. When you're that extreme, y'know -- one of my strengths is I'll always make a fool of myself very easily comedically. Y'know, for a good cause, not being a twat. And I think that's what you have to do as an actor. You have to be totally open.

I'm waffling now, but I was very chuffed that he gave me that chance and it was very interesting to do it, and see that I could do it. I mean, he's a great director (Danny Boyle), even though he's fighting all these monkeys and trying to film them, it was crazy. I was in good hands there.

What other aspirations do you have for your career now? What do you want to achieve?

Yeah I mean, it's always been my goal to be Woody Allen. Whether I'll achieve that I really don't know. I've always wanted to be in my own sitcom, and make a wonderful film.

So y'know, I'm working away at getting closer to that. But the thing is, that's part of me - doing different things. I do like chopping and changing, I get bored very quickly. So as long as I'm stimulated and keep working then I'm happy really.

One last thing - what's your favourite film?

Uhhhh, I guess the one I quote the most is 'Annie Hall', I guess. There's others. 'Brazil,' 'Crimes and Misdemeanours' I really like. 'Downfall' - that's hilarious, really should have had a laughing track. So yeah, there's some I really like. And 'Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind.'

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Who are you hanging out with tonight?

Who are you hanging out with tonight? Are you seeing that friend who loves that you're a writer, or are you hanging out with that dude who works in the bowling alley who thinks your dreams are too big? I mean, it's entirely up to you. Which girl are you taking out tomorrow? There's that girl who moans about the weather and about the fact that some guy called Mark won't fix the copying machine in her office, or you could take out Julie. Okay, Julie may not be as physically hot but she's got a soul that's magic, she plays piano - and she gets excited by your scripts. So who are you going to take out? Again, it's entirely up to you. It's your life. You decide.

So you're inviting all your friends round at the weekend? That'll be nice. Who are you going to talk to - are you going to talk to Martin who keeps telling you your last script 'lacked interesting characters' - I mean, you could talk to him, and I guess he meets a lot of 'interesting characters' when he's flipping burgers, but is he really someone who you want to have an influence on your creative pursuits? It's entirely up to you.

And what about next Thursday, that day you had free - are you going to go to that writers workshop you saw advertised on Craigslist or are you going to go to that bar where Jenny works? Again, it's entirely up to you, it's your life - and Jenny sure is hot. And when she doesn't flake out, she's decent company. But if she flakes out again then you won't get her company and you won't get the writers workshop, so what are you going to do? Hey, don't let me influence you - it's your life, it's your career, they're your friends. I'm just asking you the question.

But the other thing to ask is how long are you going to put up with Sebastian questioning what you're doing with your life? Don't get me wrong, he has a right to ask you what you're doing with your life, I mean - after all, he's been almost considering applying for new jobs for three years now, but how much influence do you want him to have? You hang out with him three times a week. That's three times a week he tells you 'the film industry is tough', 'your writing isn't exactly Woody Allen' and 'we're all going to die soon anyway' - do you want this influence three times a week? Or maybe you should ditch him and hang out with David. David is only around once a week, at most, but he actually listens to your script ideas. And his eyes light up when you talk about your dreams. It makes you feel less alone.

Again, it's your week. Your life. They're your friends. It's entirely up to you. Let me know what you choose.

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Things To Do Instead Of Writing Your Screenplay.

1. Flick constantly between your email and your Facebook.

2. Develop a sudden interest in world news.

3. Drink tea.

4. Get so engrossed in reading a Wikipedia article about UFOs that you completely forget you were even thinking about writing a script.

5. Look at pictures of Megan Fox.

6. Look at pictures of Monica Bellucci.


7. Write a letter to both of their agents, with a pitch for a film, starring them - with a clause that you get final say on costume.

8. Write the words 'YOU FUCKING SUCK AT WRITING' in big, italic letters.

9. Develop a fascination with really uninteresting people on your Facebook friends list.

10. Blog.

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When you allow yourself to be who you are.

I call myself a writer, but often you will find me working some job I loath, or doing some camera work, or arguing with people in the street, or justifying myself to people -- you know how it is-- it's like, I got talking to this waitress the other day, and I said "how long have you worked here?" and she said "two years. But I do Real Estate too.." I could totally sympathise with what she was doing; which was feeling the need to validate herself as more than a waitress (which I never doubted, by my question could well have seemed judgemental.) It's the same with writers all across the world. People say "oh wow, you're really great at sweeping the streets," and the writers say "thanks, but there's also some producer who is maybe interested in reading my script!"

So, I live in London. But right now, I am in New York. I am doing only the things I love. I am Directing a short film I wrote, I am writing a feature screenplay, and I have a film in a festival over here. When I'm not writing, I am hanging out with friends and meeting cool new people. That weight of expectation, validation and responsibility has been lifted. I get to be a successful writer - I get to be exactly who I want to be, who I sometimes am. Hell, I get to be who I really am.

And it's so important - I recommend it. Whether it means jumping on a plane, or whether it means renting a hotel room local to you and hiding out there and writing... find a way to do what you do, to be who you are. Find a place; be it a physical place or a mental place inside yourself - and be who you are. Be a writer. Believe it, feel it and be it. You'll feel a lot younger and a lot more inspired. All you have to do is give yourself permission, and find a world where you don't need to justify yourself - where you're freed from creative oppression both internal and external.

You can currently find me walking around the streets of New York, fuelling my imagination for many future projects.

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Mixing The Elements, A Post About Not Posting.

I've had this Clint Eastwood blog floating around my brain since Sunday. I wrote a few paragraphs on blogger last night, and I wrote a few paragraphs on my iPhone today when heading towards Camden on the tube. Neither of them really do it any justice. I also wanted to write on the topic of the loneliness of being a creative, and how to gain support to curb that loneliness. I also wanted to write a really epic blog about my wishes to have a new attitude towards the gatekeepers who many upcoming writers/directors/moaners think are squashing their dreams, i.e. "They only want Megan Fox with her tits out, they don't want my little arthouse film about environmentalists which is filmed entirely in pitch black." I want to write about many of these things but also --- I really don't have the energy.

Part of this lack of energy is that I am very tired. Another part, perhaps, is that I haven't quite formulated my ideas for these blogs. So I figured, rather than wait it out; I would blog about not being ready to blog, and maybe I would touch upon some or none of those topics. And then I'd see where we end up.

Clint Eastwood is awesome, by the way. Did you know that? Like, he's really awesome. We really need to start appreciating that he is a truly, truly masterful film director. I'm not sure anyone else out there is currently as consistent as he is right now. He's making some beautiful, thought-provoking films. 'Mystic River,' 'Million Dollar Baby,' 'Changeling,' 'Gran Torino.' Incredible. Clint is awesome.

I think the most amazing thing about his films is how steady they are. They're just completely steady. I don't even know what I mean. Actually, I do know what I mean, I mean they're steady. If I didn't know I wouldn't have written that they're steady. I also wonder if the word steady has been used this many times in a paragraph before, but I am aware that if I keep wondering about this we will steadily fall off topic. Not that this post has any topic.

Please Buy/Rent/Steal a copy of 'Mystic River' and skip to 1hour 22minutes in. It's Sean Penn sitting on the steps of his house, as Tim Robbins is talking to him. Penn's daughter had died a few days back, or about an hour back -- depending on whether you follow DVD running time or actual-in-the-story-time, and Robbins says something to Penn about how his daughter looked really happy (just before she got killed) -- and Penn does this look, and then he does this thing with his lip--- and he looks away and stops himself from crying. This little moment, this little look, is probably the best acting I've ever seen. And it's just a moment. But it makes sense to me that it happened in a Clint Eastwood film.. because he really gives his actors the space to be themselves. To find themselves in a role. Despite the concise and steady nature of all of his films (especially in the last ten years) there's a real freedom to them; which allows the actors to find themselves in their characters. It's incredible. I learned something the other day that I didn't know -- that Clint doesn't say 'action' - he just mumbles something along the lines of, "whenever you're ready." I think that's brilliant, and something I am going to do on future shoots. How can you expect an actor to be natural and truthful in a scene about his dead daughter when someone yells 'Action!'

'Million Dollar Baby' is a great film. It's tone, it's style, it's rhythm, the way the relationships build between the three main characters, played by Clint, Morgan Freeman and Hilary Swank arereally amazing to see. I'm sure the script was great, but the genius is in the direction and the acting. So much is said with looks, or without looks, with words, and without words. It's all in the space between the characters. I have a feeling that Clint could take a script about a guy deciding which paint brush to buy, and he'd be able to make it incredibly profound.

I just realized that by giving myself permission to talk about anything other than my chosen topics, it freed me to write a load about Clint, after all. Thereby is lesson #1 today regarding creativity --- don't let your mind get in the way. Free yourself, give yourself permission to do other stuff, and maybe it'll come after-all.

I was slightly tempted to edit this post and make it a nice, clean, Clint-a-thon, but I kind of like how it's unfolded in this random way.

I went to a Richard Curtis masterclass the other day at the Royal Haymarket theatre the other day. He had some great advice for writers, and for actors. And I've forgotten it all. But let me try to remember................ Actually, I'm popping downstairs for dinner. Meanwhile, hopefully my brain will remember some Richard Curtisisms.

---- Am now back from dinner. Although, I find it hard for you to appreciate the time that has passed. Maybe I should press enter a few more times to suggest that time has passed.






Does that work? Anyways, the loneliness of creativity. Here's what happens, Julie says to you "you're going to be an amazing writer some day!" or Billy says "you have talent, you're going to be the best actor ever!" This belief/support/insane pressure is very good, on the one hand, because people believe in you. But of course, the writing of that script, or the constant auditioning, or the ploughing through months of pre-production paper work is a rather solitary journey. If you write a giant, complex novel, and nobody gives a shit, Only you fail. But Julie and her chubby pink cheeks didn't fail. They just sit there and say "aww, don't worry. You'll still be an amazing writer when you learn to put the full stops in the right place and everything." And you realize, you're lonely.

"Don't forget me when you get an Oscar!" Don't you just love that one. Normally somebody says it after helping you out, maybe by moving a camera bag across the room, or by helping you locate a clapper board that you misplaced in your apartment. So what happens is that you go and Direct your films for twenty three more years; and then when you finally get that well-deserved Oscar, the dude who found your clapper board wants a thank you for their support. That's lonely. That's a lonely twenty three years.

I'm writing this in a sarcastic way, I admit. In truth, that kind of support from people is important, and in many ways helpful. But you also find yourself marginalized, pushed into this position; the lonely position of being the one who has to deliver the goods. It's like when someone has cancer. Everyone rallies around and says "We're in this together," -- but only one person jumps on the operating table.

There's a real loneliness to the journey of fulfilling your creative dreams. Whereas Chubby Cheeked Julie who smells of banana for some strange reason is surrounded by a hundred people who think you're going to be a great writer.

I touched upon something in my last post, about recognizing your milestones, and I think it's a really key thing. You become your own support system. Whatever your achievements, be they short film awards, a large cheque or completing three sentences before dinner, celebrate them, appreciate them. You did well. You did it yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back. We don't do that nearly enough. There is nothing wrong with appreciating what you've achieved, in fact; it's integral to what we do. I have a tendency to finish a project and go straight onto the next one. But to truly learn from our past efforts, we need to see the good in what we've done, not just the negative stuff as pointed by some obese dude with cheese around his mouth who says "there was a cup behind the girls head, then when it cut back it was gone, which is really dumb, you're really dumb, your film stinks, what are you doing." We spend too much time listening to that guy. That guy's not nearly as important as that guy inside you who says "WOW! You're alive, you cleaned the whole kitchen today, picked the kids up from school, and wrote four pages! wow!"

And in the words of the great Forest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that."

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What impact can we have as filmmakers? And with impact, do we have responsibility?

I'm interested in whatever any of you might bring to this discussion -- be you a film director, a writer, a film-lover, someone who hates movies, or even someone who's never seen one. Whoever you are, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. What is the maximum impact we can have as filmmakers? Can films really change lives? Can they make us act for social change? Can they change us for the better?.

There is a lot of room for films as pure entertainment. Most of Hollywood's output is exactly that. But sometimes, we can do more. Whether it's a little documentary making you aware about a new topic, or 'Shawshank Redemption' offering you hope-- ocassionally, a film can have an important and influential effect on you. But how big is that effect? On a personal level-- has a film ever changed the way you feel about a matter? Has it ever inspired you to do something that you wouldn't have done without it?

Documentaries, of course-- offer us a direct line into an issue. But what difference do they really make? For example, if you take a look at Michael Moore's documentaries (especially the older ones) they brought a lot of issues to a wider audience, for example gun laws-- and for a while, it looked like he could change America. In fact, he was certain he would with 'Fahrenheit 9/11' - but he didn't.

Of course, the problem for Michael Moore and indeed for most documentarians who touch upon politics and issues, is that they are tainted by their persuasions. They are an extension of a journalist, or a politician; they're just part of the cycle of partisan politics. Even in one of my favourite documentaries, 'When The Levees Broke' - Spike Lee can't steer clear of politics. NOR SHOULD HE HAVE, but my point is that as a result of that, some viewers are going to feel polarized.

As fictional writers and directors; we are able to have a dramatic impact on audiences. Right now, films like the Harry Potter Series and 'Twilight' are watched and loved by millions of teenagers worldwide. Do the makers of these films have only the need to entertain, or is there a responsibility regarding the message and intended meaning of these films?

I don't wish to get into a conversation about whether violence in films causes violence in the streets -- I'd like to skim past that and look at it more positively; and ask--- do we have an opportunity to change the world, for the better, with the stories we tell? And how should we go about doing that? It's a tricky thing to approach. I remember watching 'Wall-E' in the cinema and being completely turned off because of it's overt messages about the environment. Yet at the same time I've watched many other films and enjoyed the political intent behind them. Does it come down to personal taste, or is there a way of storytelling that is appropriate? Do we know where that line is?

It's also worth addressing the fact that It'd be a shame to swing too far in the way of responsibility and political correctness. A film with absolutely no violence, no jokes pertaining to race or sex or sexual-orientation would be boring. It wouldn't be real life. Is it wrong to have pure violence? Is it wrong for Tarantino to rewrite the most important death in modern history? What responsibilities do we carry as people putting our creative ideas into the open?

I often feel a limitation as a writer. It's a ghost role that says 'You will only have a certain amount of impact.' And I just wonder, does that limitation really exist? I am unsure if a film has ever changed the world. And even if it hasn't, I'd like to believe it can. I'd like to believe that motion pictures could fulfill a role that is different to that of leaders, policy makers, and celebrities.

I'd like to facilitate an open forum discussion through the comments section below. I hope we can better understand each other and discuss our beliefs in terms of the true power of movies. What impact can we have? And with that impact, do we have responsibilities?

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Writing? Huh? Wha? Why?

She said, "But why? Why do you want to be a writer?"

Because I get to have a voice. Because I get to have something to say and I get to say it. I get to create the world I want through putting words on a page. And maybe, just maybe, some people might like those words, they might relate to those words. And maybe those words will change them a little. Maybe a story about dreaming will make a little girl dream a little bit more, maybe a script about war will make someone care a little bit more, maybe a film about imagination will make a bunch of people feel inspired at least just a little bit more.

I write because if I just take things in and experience them, they'll get polluted with my judgements and belief systems, whereas if I turn what I think and feel into some kind of words, then it takes on meaning. And if I work hard enough on myself I can rid myself of those judgements and tear through the belief systems and then what will come out on the page is pure truth. Truth like Jimmy Stewart's voice, truth like Tom Hanks' eyes, truth like Marylin Monroe's body, truth like Billy Wilder's dialogue.

I could not write. I could try that. I could keep clicking on people's Facebook profiles and I could argue with someone in the street and work in a job I hate, but I'd rather do this. I'd rather live by inspiration-- I'd rather something just hit me out of nowhere and feel it say "Hey! I am an idea! Take a look at me! See if we get along! Dance with me baby! Come on, throw me down on that page. Give me some letters, give me some words."

When people say "Why do you write?"

I'm gonna say "Why do you have that ugly look on your face? You'd be a lot more beautiful if you said "You write, that's amazing!"

I write because a tree is just a tree. But once you get an idea of a tree, you can turn the tree into anything. You can imagine a beautiful woman sitting on that tree, you can write about the beautiful sunset behind the tree, you can do whatever you want with that damn tree. You see that tree outside your window right now? It's been sitting there for years and apart from when you jumped off it as a kid it hasn't had much reason to be there. But if you have that picture in your head when you write a script, that tree could take on a life of it's own. It could be the kind of tree that Forrest and Jenny would sit on, or a tree that the boys from Stand By Me would like . Before you know it the tree outside your window that inspired you is part of something sitting on some desk in Hollywood that's making some balding Executive think, "this is a movie!".

What people forget when they pull an ugly and say "A writer? What? Why?" is that anything any of us have ever been excited by or inspired by has usually come from a writer. A book you loved, a song you sung, a movie that scared you, a love letter that made you cry, a poem that changed you. This is all at the hands of some writer.

I don't care if you're a successful screenwriter, a hilarious twitter-updater, a novellist or a speech writer. Whatever you are, be proud that you do what you do. Take those letters, take those words; do something with them. Write a movie, write a love letter, write a text message, write yourself a note.

It's the write thing to do.

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The Writing Of The Feature.

I am not currently blogging very much as I am writing a feature film. And when I'm not doing that, I'm going to the cinema a lot (I'll be blogging about that soon).

I am writing the film right here.

And when I get a bit confused I walk around the garden bare-footed until I get a feel for the next few scenes.

Also, I added a new little thing to the left hand side of the blog.. which shows the last film I watched. I'll update it every time I watch a movie.. and the pictures are clickable, they take you to the IMDB page of the film.

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My Self-Imposed Detachment From The Film Industry.

"The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."

-Alan Alda, Actor.

I started out as a dreamer. My heart and mind were full of big ideas, dreams of inspiring people and saying something. And making people laugh. My early short films were full of ideas, full of energy. And they were sometimes awful, sometimes funny, always fun. They were just a front row kid running around with a camera, learning how to get his dreams on the screen.

And then people in the industry said "but the lighting is really bad" and "some of the acting is poor. Amateur." And I was like "okay okay, but did you smile?" and they'd say "the scene looks flat." And I'd say "okay, cool-- but did you like the way the characters met at the end?" and they'd say "Professional films would use a dolly, they wouldn't zoom like that."

So I met this Producer, and I was like, "here's my crazy, funny idea" and he was like "I love your crazy funny idea- let's make a feature!" So I started writing the feature, and then he said "What are you doing? That's not the story, let's make the character less sympathetic and let's make him insane," and I was all "If he's insane then he couldn't logically do the things he does in the later scenes," and the producer said "yeah but I want him to be a bit insane." It became clear that if I didn't make the changes he'd never produce my film and I'd still be sat at home not having "made it" in the industry. I made the changes and he still didn't make the movie.

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."
-Albert Einstein

But still I'd be bursting with energy and creativity. And I'd start to look at the bulletins on ShootingPeople.org, but people would be arguing over whether actors are getting paid enough, and they'd be insulting some young writer for wanting to use a different font in his screenplay. And I would jump on mandy.com and apply for a writing job with a big company.

They'd say "We like your writing, we want to hire you,"
So I'd say "That's great!"
"But we can't pay you,"
"That's not great,"
"No it's not but we are 'big company' so you'll look good"
"Yeah but my bank account won't,"
"But we don't have the budget to pay you."
"Are you getting paid?"
"Excuse me?"

Everyone in the industry would be bound by these rules and these principles; namely how you have to do this, you will only be paid that, you can't have an idea with an elephant in it because elephants don't interest audiences.

I'd had enough. It got me down down down. I know we all know that "film is an industry, it's business." And I'd even begun to learn that and be a part of it. I produced a feature film last year; and it was fun for a while. But I realised that it's not me. It's really not me. I worked on a feature film earlier in the year, and as I plugged things in and got shouted at by the 1st AD, I decided that, no-- I really don't enjoy this. I don't enjoy the Assistant Director yelling at me just because he's the AD and thinks he's entitled. I don't believe that, just because I'm working on a film set that everyone should be assholes to each other. I'm not happy with peoples creativity being reduced to "Sorry, you can't have fruit in that scene. Fruit isn't funny," -- I'd had enough.

After a brief spell of industry-induced misery, I found myself again. I found the kid in me. It was like the beginning of Jerry Maguire. Breakdown? Breakthrough.... I set up this very blog; and rediscovered what I love about the movies;

"I DON'T REALLY CARE HOW MUCH THE LATEST SUPERHERO FILM TOOK AT THE BOX OFFICE, ALTHOUGH I'D PROBABLY KNOW IF YOU ASKED ME. WHEN I WATCH A FILM THE MAIN THING I AM LOOKING FOR IS A GOOD STORY. I LIKE IT WHEN I LOOK UP AT THE BIG SCREEN AND CAN SEE A PART OF ME STARING BACK AT ME. MORE THAN ANYTHING, I AM STILL LOOKING FOR JIMMY STEWART AND JACK LEMMON AND BILLY WILDER IN EVERY FILM I SEE."

When I put together a cast and crew for my new film-- I did it outside the confines of the industry. I only worked with people who I had a LOT of time for. I found people I was truly in-line with, creatively and personally. It was a set full of fun and enjoyment, and it felt like nothing to do with the film industry. Because what you begin to realise is that when you make a film, like when you do anything in life, you can choose to have anyone you want around you. At no point on the set did anyone moan about losing a cable, or bitch about a crew member. We just did the work, drank lots of tea, and shot a great film. Films can be wonderful. Life can be wonderful.

"The key to this business is personal relationships."
-Dicky Fox, in 'Jerry Maguire'

My point is-- I am now more of a Writer and Director than ever. And it has nothing to do with the film industry. I want to write what's in my heart-- of course, I'd love for millions to see what I do, and that's the plan--- but I want to do it without being talked down to, without being told no. Without being told I know best because I'm a proven producer. Because that means nothing to me.

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If in doubt, ask Aaron Sorkin.

I threw a question to possibly the world's greatest screenwriter, Aaron Sorkin (A Few Good Men, The American President, Creator and Writer of The West Wing and Studio 60)

Kid: There's this voice in my head; and he says "Hey man, you suck! This script wouldn't interest a small woodpigeon, let alone large audiences!" I have no idea who this voice is. I feel it may be my inner critic but he promised to cut down on the bad reviews.

Do you have any advice for conquering this voice? I find there's a thin line between "you suck!" and "well, this needs reworking" - how do you tell which voice is the self-loathing-critic and which one knows what he's talking about? To be honest, I'd like this voice gone altogether so I could write what's in my heart, even if it was a 200 page script about waste disposal.

Aaron Sorkin: I'm afraid you're going to have to get used to that, Front Row. Every time I finish something I think I'm never going to be able to write anything else. And every time I start something I think that this is the one where I'm going to get found out as a fraud. Every time I read a bad review it bothers me not because I think the critic is wrong but because secretly I think they're right. "How did the lady from the Bergen County Shopper's Guide get it right but not the guy from the New York Times."

There's a great line from the movie Arthur. Dudley Moore says "Not every drunk is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets." You asked for advice so here it is: Don't be an alcoholic. And try to remember that nothing you write, no matter how good, is going to make everyone in the world like you. Good luck and let me know how it's going.

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Patterns.

A lot of people say "I can always watch any film" and "I have never walked out of a film." I am not one of these people. In fact, right now, I'm not watching any films at all.

It's really interesting looking at personal patterns - they tell you a lot about yourself. I have a pattern where I can sit for a couple of months and obsessively watch films, but then I tend to really struggle to write screenplays. But then, sometimes I am writing and writing and I don't even have time to watch movies. I feel like I watch a lot of movies, and then start to feel dissatisfied, often by their lacking quality -- and then my writing stems from that, I try and bring to the page what I feel has been missing from what I'm watching.

I'm not saying it's the only way I write, but it seems to be a pattern.

I hear a lot of filmmakers, writers, film-lovers, and random-pretentious-people saying how they can watch any film, and people wear this badge that they've never stopped a film before the end. I don't wear that badge, I've stampled the badge and thrown it in the bin. I give films about five minutes, if they haven't got me, I'm out, because two hours is a lot of time, I'm not going to waste it watching something I don't find interesting.

I've noticed also, that the writers and directors I admire tend to have similar patterns. Somebody who can watch any-film-any-time-because-they-love-films can also, often, write any-film-any-time-for-anyone-who-needs-a-script; and that's great, what a wonderful talent to have; but there are many who can only write and create when their patterns allow. What this means is, they can only create when they know what they're doing, when they know what they have to say. Basically, yeah; when there is no block.

The subconscious is a crazy place. It's a place where your memories are, it's where your ideas are. It's where you accidentally steal scenes from films you remember but don't remember you remember, and it's a place where you have the potential to write something amazing. And to truly access that wonderful place; you're going to be dealing with these patterns.

And I guess that's why it's often at the breaking point when you begin to write; that brief moment when you're transforming from viewer to writer, or from depressed and suicidal to inspired. It's those moments when you suddenly remember a moment from your teens and then you link it to this feeling you have now, and that manifests itself as a character on a page. That's real writing.

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