Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

What if it was a conspiracy?

What if the next twenty years of smartphones had already been developed and they were leaking them to us bit by bit in order to take our money every year?

What if Facebook knew everything about us and knew what we do, where we go, the things we wear and the people we spend time with? What if Facebook had information that could get us sacked, embarrass us, change our lives?

What if there was a mass attempt to dumb us down? Can you imagine if the tabloid magazines, reality TV shows and soaps were just a way of keeping us out of trouble, indoors and in line?

Can you imagine if movies were so predictable and unimaginative that we could get used to and comfortable with their patterns? We'd begin to crave the same ideas, same clichés,
the same feelings. 

Maybe the films and soaps and reality shows would convince us that if we stay in line, work hard and tweet, maybe we'll be successful one day. Maybe we'll be discovered. Maybe our luck will turn and we'll get an abundance of riches and beaches. Maybe these dreams and dilusions would keep us doing things we loathe day after day, week after week, ever hopeful that someday something might change while we watch the world from distances and devices.

Think of what it would be like if Google knew what you'd searched for, what you'd looked at, and all the bizarre thoughts and curiosities that are inside that head of yours. Can you imagine if the government could use all your emails and Facebook messages as evidence against you? 

What if kids got bullied in school for not wearing Nike? What if girls wouldn't wear the same dress more than once because everyone on Facebook would see? What if people felt insecure because the tiny logo on their shirts weren't as good as the tiny logos on other people's shirts?

What if phone apps were killing our brain cells? What if we were being hypnotised and sedated by technology and brands and television? What if the unique and inspiring artists were blocked out of the film industry? What if we were all conforming to lifestyles based on the types of clothes we wear? What if those with different opinions were ridiculed?  What if the people around you were so disheartened and depressed that they said "who cares! This is just the way things are!"

If these things were true, would you change how you live? 

Care to share?

Thursday, 6 September 2012

REJECTION Is A Sign That You're AIMING HIGH

People don't become writers or directors or actors to get paid. Sure, most of us see the end result as being one where we're paid handsomely for our talents. But it's not the driving force behind our choices. If it was, we'd be bankers. We're here because we want to do something that satisfies our souls. And I don't even know what a soul is or whether it exists; but there is definitely this place inside of you, or just outside of you, that soars to the skies when things goes well and empties you out cold when things go bad. It's a place you can't tangibly touch or feel, and you only ever feel it when your dreams get closer to you or further away. 

And it's not just about rejection and being accepted. It's not as simple as that. There are a million different places in between, and you never quite know where you're going to land. 

The rejection story of, 'you were their second choice!" sounds like a great achievement when you hear it, but when you're actually in that second place, the unchosen one, it's so painful. Because you're so so close to your dream, the thing you've worked throughout your whole life to get to, and they snatch it right away from you. After that, you're no longer in second place, you're back with everyone else, sitting at home wondering what you have to do to get back in the game. 

It's hard. It's really hard. It's not just about employment. It's about more than that. You can be happily employed and earning money when another opportunity comes along -- maybe an audition for a Broadway play, or a chance to get your movie made in LA--- and you can get so close to it. Somebody is reading your script, somebody is watching your audition tape---- you get closer and closer. 

And then they don't want you. 

If you get cast in the big Hollywood movie, or you get hired to write the BBC drama; you're set. At least for a while, you've nailed it, you've landed. Sometimes it's a drawn out process--- you're under consideration. They want you, but the producers might go with a known name, or the production company are considering another project instead --- they just keep you hanging there and hanging there. 

And then they take it away. It's just like that. 

There are no prizes for not being selected. You were second choice to write that movie? You would've been cast in that flick if Jude Law wasn't available? This stuff means nothing when it comes down to it. 

Of course, it does mean something. Ten years ago you'd never have dreamed of getting this close. It's like that famous quote about people quitting right around the time they're about to succeed. 

It's just that most people don't understand how hard it is to work in this industry; because every time: it's a risk. It never gets easier for an actor to walk into that audition room to impress strangers. And it's always terrifying when you hand your script over. You are putting your dreams into the hands of other people. You're saying "I'm an artist!" and they have the power to say "ummm, maybe, but we're gonna go with the other guy."

Often the job is perfect for you. The job was made specifically for YOU. But you don't get it. 

That's life. That's the movies. 

This is a common thing in the life of the actor. And this year I've discovered that it's pretty common for writers as well. I'm writing this blog post today because I think many of you who work in the industry will relate to it. And it's good to not feel alone right? It's good to remember that these heartbreaking rejections are a result of AIMING HIGH. You are doing everything you can to follow your dreams, and that's amazing. That's living!

Today; I didn't get the writing gig I was, I thought, destined for. And one of my best friends fucked up an audition that he was really keen on. I sent him a text a bit earlier tonight, saying that we're lucky. Because some people never experience these excruciating lows, because they're not even trying! They're not risking it! 

So we're going to sit around and mope for the rest of today. Maybe we can drag it out over the weekend. 

But by the time Monday arrives, we'll be chasing the dream again. 

Care to share?

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Note to Self

Focus.

Write. Or take things in.

Get inspired. Watch 'Inside the Actors Studio'. And Oscar speeches. Listen to podcasts.

Read screenplays. Watch movies. Find writers, directors and actors who resonate. Learn about their style, their journeys, their technique.

Learn more about how to write. Read writers and articles and books that challenge you. Discover new words.

Write down new ideas every day. Sometimes force ideas out, other times be content with having no ideas.

Dream. Sit in a room and do nothing. Ignore the urge to check your phone. See what the moment you're in has to offer.

Look at the sky, look at people, close your eyes.

Spend whole days writing. Spend whole days reading. Spend whole days in the cinema. Spend whole days discovering some place new.

Don't be a hack. Don't write within your comfort zone. Believe you can write whatever needs to be written. Don't be afraid that you can't be technical enough or funny enough or mainstream enough or artistic enough. You are enough. More than enough.

Have fun. Writing should be joyful, there are no rules.

Be in pain. Writing hurts because you care so much.

Write and read and discover people who are like you. Commit to doing better. To doing your best work.

Do your best work at every moment that you can.

Follow these steps, for they're what you really care about in regards to your art. The time for distraction is over.

Care to share?

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Dancing Queen

There I was, heading towards the platform at Tottenham Court Road, and I could hear the sound of a busker playing "Dancing Queen" on saxophone.

A feeling rises up in me, I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's the memory of hearing it at my Aunt's wedding when I was 8 or maybe it's just the pure fun and joy of the song itself. Anyways, I crave it like crazy 'cos what this guy is doing sounds so much like LIFE! Isn't that why we love art? Isn't this why we continually want to find music that resonates? I'm making my way home after seeing 'The Woman In Black', and it sucked so bad! Such an awful movie. I thought I'd get all filled up on a movie but it turns out I'd get my fix from a busker doing an ABBA tune.

And then his next track: "Baker Street" by Gerry Rafferty. Hell yeah! That's one of those songs you really hate but really love. And it reminds me of Dito's movie "A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints" and it reminds me of every time me and my friends have played air-sax to the tune.




The tube train rolled into the station, but I didn't board it! I ran upstairs to get closer to the music. Music can really suck sometimes, just turn on the radio and you'll see. We get our fixes in different places. There are three drunk girls opposite me on the train right now, they're being obnoxious and loud, singing some song (I think they're Brazilian, hard to tell). As much as they're pissing me off, I can't help but enjoy it a little, because they're singing and finding their fix. Music that means something to them, it's come from their culture. Or maybe they're singing gibberish and are high on cocaine, who knows! But it sounds to me like they're loving it.

Once upon a time they invented the camera and the radio (I don't mean the drunk Brazilian girls), and humans craved it, and they trusted that they'd be entertained, they'd get their natural highs from the novelty, from the artists. But then big business took over, it was all about singles sales and box office receipts. You had to please everybody to get seen by anybody, or you went underground and played a different game to the system.

Now it's blown right open. People don't even know where to rent a movie or download a track anymore - the whole thing is in chaos. We go to the cinema, we listen to the radio, we see the stars being interviewed on TV, but how often do we stumble upon magic? How often does it resonate through to our very core? Hardly ever. Don't look to the old safe bets, don't expect the chart music to give you what you need. You have to go to different places, you have to be open, you have to go underground, just as I did, literally, tonight.

Care to share?

Saturday, 15 October 2011

A Brief Moment Of Something

I was standing by the window for about thirty minutes earlier tonight, just staring out at a star in the night time sky. A pretty great achievement, considering you rarely see stars in London and rarely focus on anything for more than nine seconds without checking your phone. 

But there I was, captivated by a star in the sky and wondering why I'm not in this state more often. I'm not even sure it was a star, I kept thinking it must be an aircraft of some kind -- but it stayed awfully still, for awfully long, so maybe it was a star. 

I remembered being a kid. Being six years old and staring up at the stars. Nothing changes. It's the same experience. The same view. It was a moment of peace -- probably because I've actually done quite well, and achieved a heap of stuff in recent weeks. I allowed myself off the hook. When you're underachieving you check your email and Facebook every four seconds in the hope someone will tell you you're doing something interesting with your life. A good week or two, full of creativity and the shaping of new projects -- and I feel a little more complete. Felt I had permission to stare at the stars on a Saturday night without convincing myself I'm a hack.

It's weird when you allow yourself to stare up at the sky and engage in what the universe is offering. The sky is so much more fascinating than the Facebook login screen, yet gets much less of my time. As I fixated my attention on the skies above, the thought hit me -- we don't go on forever. This is short. This is the only time I'll be this age. I don't want to look back in ten years to find that all I did was update my Twitter continuously and delete spam mail from LinkedIn. Life can be a lot more. 

I had a direct line tonight to me as a six year old. We're the same -- there's the same through line, the essence, the feeling -- the notion of what it is to be me, to be alive, to be full of possibility. When you truly give yourself over to a moment with nature; you realise it's just you and the elements, it's existing and being. The relationship problems and the work issues and the bodily aches and pains all fade away -- you're left with you and the stars. It was everything at six years old and somehow you lose your way. 

It felt like a gift. A peaceful, private moment -- witnessing the world again. A treat given to me merely because I've put some work in recently. It's impossible to be at peace when you're mad at yourself for not doing your creative work. At least, that's how it is for me. And by the time Monday comes around that will probably be me again.

But for a short time tonight, the world had a bit of magic to it. Life was more than buildings, problems and disagreements, and anything was possible.

Care to share?

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Clarence Clemons

"And the miles we have come
And the battles won and lost
Are just so many roads traveled
So many rivers crossed."
-Bruce Springsteen

I hear the sounds of Clarence Clemons every single day. When people talk to me about music, barely a second goes by without me saying "Bruce Springsteen". It's on sad days like this when I am reminded that Springsteen's music is not just one man. The songs I love the most he created with the E Street Band. Some of the greatest moments of my life have been in concert venues around the UK at the very precise moments when the Big Man has stepped in with his saxophone.


My all-time favourite song is "Thunder Road". I listen to it every single day. The best part of the song is the refrain that comes after "It's a town full of losers and I'm pulling out of here to win"; and the beautiful, uplifting sound of Clarence Clemons is all over it. I remember after my Aunt died a few years back, my Uncle repeatedly listened to "Secret Garden"; and it was that last minute he was craving, when Clarence Clemon's sax somehow manages to break your heart and heal your heart all in the space of a minute.

You don't always get to hear "Jungleland" in concert, but when you do, you are suddenly reminded of what it is to be alive. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band aren't just a band, they're something more. Their music is a way of life, a belief, a window into who we are. They're heart and soul. You feel it when you hear them play Jungleland. So do a hundred thousand other people. I don't know whether they'll ever play it again. "Jungleland" without Clarence isn't 'Jungleland'.



There will never be another E Street Band. I'm watching 'Live in Barcelona' as I write this. They just step into the arena, pick up their instruments, and play. These guys know all of their songs inside out. And they tour and they tour and they tour, playing three hour sets every night. These guys are hitting seventy. I work for seventy minutes and need a break. But the E Street Band put the work first and you see that the work doesn't wear them out, it gives them energy.

Clarence Clemons was the soul of E Street. But what does that mean? Well, for me; it means being in some arena or stadium, and you're enjoying yourself but it's just a concert, just some music. It's better than being at home on Facebook, but at the same time you're aware of your tiredness and your personal problems and the aching pain in your bad knee. But then Clemons would launch into something on the saxophone. And it wouldn't necessarily be a showstopping 'look-at-me' moment. He'd just sneak in there, do his work. But it would grab you. Take you in. And suddenly you're not in the same world as everyone else. Your life isn't about petty problems and pains in your joints and break-ups. You're with the Gods now. You're floating up in the skies yet somehow you're deeply immersed in life and all of its possibilities. That is what music can do when it truly reaches us.

That's why fans of Bruce Springsteen get so disheartened when they can't get their kids to sit down and listen to "Born To Run". Because they know the reward if you put in the work. They know why the ticket prices are worth it. There's magic.

"We learned more from a three minute record baby, than we ever learned in school."
-Bruce Springsteen

I listen to Springsteen every day. And I'd say 70% of that music features Clarence Clemons. Just yesterday, I was playing "Thunder Road" in a friend's car, and later that night when I was walking back from another friend's BBQ in the pouring rain I had "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out" in my headphones. It was as fresh as the first time I heard it.

The loss of Clarence Clemons is a big one, and a part of me is truly heartbroken. But he lives on in the way that only the true greats can. That moment I was talking about, when a piece of music lifts you up into the stars --- that's outside of the ordinary plane of existence. That's bigger than the street you live in. That's the stuff of the soul and the spirit and some big giant essence that is love and heaven and whatever it is that somehow, sometimes, makes life just so fucking worth it.

Clarence Clemons will live forever.

Care to share?

Friday, 27 May 2011

Girl From Far Away

And there she was. You have precisely one second to make a first impression when you meet a girl like her.

Twenty minutes later and we were walking along the pier about ten minutes from my hotel and four minutes before it rained.

An hour goes by and she's sitting opposite me, watching my films on my phone. She quietly sits there engaged in the film, with this little smile that I've only ever seen on her.

I got on a plane, I came back to life. The years passed by and she has a husband now.

Care to share?

Thursday, 12 May 2011

The Black Box

We were sitting on trains, walking through parks, and laying on beaches. It didn't matter where we were, we just couldn't get enough of it. Each of us obsessively eating into our data allowances as we messaged our friends and read news articles we forgot soon after.

We were in London, or Paris, or a mountain in some far away land. It didn't matter where we lived, because we lived in a box three inches from our faces that we kept glued to our hands.

And moments weren't between two people anymore. You write "I'm in a wonderful restaurant in Berlin with Sally". The world knows. Your school friend Bernard knows you're there. And @screenwriterharry22 has been informed.

You're not in a restaurant, you're in a little box of electrics. You tell a joke to your brother and its so funny that you instantly tell a version to Twitter and tag in Judd Apatow just in case he thinks you're hilarious. But the joke is no longer between you and your brother.

Because nothing is private anymore. Nothing is shared between two people. The world knows.

Never in history have we been so connected yet so isolated. We're closer to strangers across the world than people we're eating dinner with. Except we're hardly close at all. We're just people on opposite sides of the world staring at the little black boxes we keep glued to our hands. And old buildings are forgotten and old friends invited to a Facebook Fan Page. And we sit in a train or coffee house in London or Tokyo or somewhere else in the world, but nobody is there, because they're in their little black boxes doing critically important things. All except one thing: talking to the person on front of them.

Two people and a fireplace. That doesn't happen anymore. The flame is burning out, and I need a phone upgrade.

That was us in 2011.

Care to share?

Monday, 20 December 2010

Previously, On THE WEST WING

Because of Chandler Bing, we're all a bit better at delivering a funny line. Because of Frasier, we're able to say "that's your subconscious feelings" and have people believe we know what we're talking about, and because of Ally Mcbeal we're able to feel a bit more comfortable with the crazy inner-lives we lead. That's what our favorite shows do, they show us the way, they give us permission to be our deepest selves.

THE WEST WING represented an idea. It's about 5.30am wake-up calls. It's about dedicating who you are to something bigger than yourself. It's about loyalty and doing something that matters. It's about working weekends and having dinner at 11pm on a Thursday night in the office because you have to get things done, because if you don't the world isn't going to operate properly come the morning. 



We're inspired and in awe of who they are; not because they're the fictionalized leaders of the American government, but because they're us. They're all of us on January 1st when we make resolutions to get up earlier, to update our Resumes, to work so hard on our projects that we're almost going to explode. The West Wing is about people who had one rule: to stand up for the very best. They represent this incredible part of us that we're often too shy or conflicted or embarrassed to be. 

The Presidency of George W. Bush scared the hell out of all of us. Hundreds of thousands of people were dying in Iraq, New Orleans was under water --- but in The West Wing's President Bartlet; we had someone who kept us sane. It's not just escapism-- it's reminding ourselves that we're still human, that we still care, that there are still people in the world who offer hope. We were reminded of the hope within each of us, again and again and again. 

I recently finished watching the entire show, again; and found myself loving the final two seasons. Many people criticised everything that came after season four, because Aaron Sorkin  had jumped ship. At first, I agreed with that; but now, I don't feel the same way. Don't get me wrong, Aaron Sorkin is my favorite television writer, but I still love what came after. The final years of The West Wing had a real weight to them. We had been together for seven years. That's a long time. Some of my friends I've hardly looked at in the eye for years, some of my family I haven't spoke to in months; but for many hours every week I am present in the moment with Josh Lyman, CJ Cregg and co. That's what happens when you love a show; you're there with them. You clock in more hours with them than you do with almost everyone else in your life. 
It's not just a DVD you switch on and off. It becomes more. We watch characters mature over seven years (in the show's timeline). It's not just about the people running about on screen, and you sitting there in your pyjamas. It's about the space in between. You can't say that Friends was just a TV show. We all drink coffee differently now. We all find New York cooler than we did. We all do the Ross Geller hand movements. That's what happens. It's a big deal. 

The West Wing gave us Josh Lyman - the master strategist and campaigner. He'd do anything for you. It gave us Sam Seaborn; who at first glance was just a pretty-boy with some talent, but on closer inspection he was someone who would give you a verbal ass kicking if you dared betray him, his friends, or his country. Toby Ziegler was that cold, horrible old man that you hate to work for; but pretty soon you realize he's as dedicated and as ethical as they come and there are no barriers that will stand in the way of him doing what he perceives to be right. And then there's Leo McGarry, the one with the experience and the know-how and the mind and the heart to steer the ship exactly where it needs to go. These are all processes that we see and feel within ourselves, but sometimes it's hard to believe in them. But they showed us the way. 


I have absolutely no reservations in saying, without doubt, that I believe The West Wing to be the greatest television show of all time. It raised the bar. It invented a new bar. 

The final season was tough. We could see it was ending. President Josiah Bartlet, Leo McGarry and CJ Cregg were a lot older than when we began-- but they brought a gravitas; a weight, that you rarely see in television, or in life. We need them. They represent the type of leadership and eldership we all need, within our selves and from those around us. They're who we want to become. And people kept turning up who we hadn't seen in years, Amy Gardner, Sam Seaborn, Ainsley Hayes, Joey Lucas; they're people who we knew from earlier seasons. They felt like friends. We could feel life had changed and people had moved on, yet they still had such unique bonds between them. It makes you think about your own lives and how much things have changed, and leads you to question whether you've held on to those bonds as tightly as they did in the walls of the Bartlet White House. 

The West Wing was deadly serious. The West Wing was silly and hilarious. The West Wing was all about the work. The West Wing was all about relationships. The West Wing was all about us. 

Care to share?

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

No Movie Kid

I'm not really watching any films at the moment. It's not like I don't have the time, I do, but with that time - the things I am doing are not watching movies. I don't even have an interest in going to the cinema.

I think I'm different to most of my film-obsessed friends in this way. I am able to let go of it sometimes. Not just let go, sometimes I'm not interested. I guess I need a break; sometimes when you watch six films when you have a free day, that can't be totally good for you!

What's happening more as I get older (wow, I've started saying 'as I get older.' Don't expect wisdom) is that I don't identify with my interests so much. Sure, I love Charlie Chaplin, but I can not react when somebody says something incorrect about him, I can listen and enjoy that someone thinks 'Mamma Mia' is amazing without needing to rip it to pieces. I am able to have people say "You are not a real film fan if you don't watch movies every day!" They could be wrong, they could be right -- it doesn't really matter. I'm just living and breathing and creating and watching movies and not creating and not watching movies. Definitions like film geek, film fan, film snob, etc, they're just labels right?

Sometimes it's really freeing. I remember when I was younger, and there was a film I hadn't seen -- someone would say, "have you seen Léon?" and if I hadn't, I'd feel like a failure, like I didn't know films, like they'd think less of me if I hadn't. I still sometimes feel that impulse now when someone says "Did you love Inception? Did you? Did you understand it?" - I could feel completely diminished by their superiority. Except, they don't have any superiority. It's just a movie. Maybe you got it. Maybe you didn't. It doesn't matter.

The term 'Kid In The Front Row' was, I figured, just a cool term about being like a kid who loves movies. But the more I grow into the blog, the more I feel like it's about an attitude, a way of approaching films. And it's about doing it on your own terms. About how you really feel. On a simple level, it's about watching 'Mamma Mia' nine times in four days if you want to, it's about watching Jimmy Stewart with a loved one at 2am and feeling the world is fucking fantastic. But it's also about not watching movies. It's about loving movies, not about loving that you love movies, or loving that people think you love movies.

Essentially, movies are just movies. They're things that capture life, and inspire life, but they aren't life. And if they are, they're one minuscule part of it. Right now, I have nothing to say about movies and I'm loving every second of it.

Care to share?

Saturday, 18 September 2010

Don't Keep Your Talents At Home!

It's easy to think you're a writer, easy to wait for a directing gig, easy to be an actor who types data for a living. But you have talent --- you've studied things, you've picked up things, you've had amazing life experiences and you have IDEAS and you have DREAMS.

You need to GO OUT INTO THE WORLD with them. I am no good just sitting on Facebook, you are no good just reading blogs. Whether it's putting on a spontaneous play in a parking lot, or reading a screenplay while sitting on a mountain, or practicing directing with a little video recording app on your phone... whatever it is, go out into the world and do it and be it and try it and fail at it and then do it again!

You literally could find a video camera tonight, and then go out into your local town tomorrow and make a short film, or make a documentary, or video some interesting buildings.

The world does this funny thing to us sometimes, where we feel like it doesn't want filmmakers and actors and painters and all the good things, we feel like we don't belong or it's not quite right for us at this moment in time. But it always is! There is always a friend who will help, always 32 views on YouTube when you make something, always a park just down the road ready to have you film there, or sit there and write, or walk around dreaming and concocting.

Go out go out go out and CREATE. FORGET about the 'business,' forget about only doing things that are part of a routine or plan or marketing strategy. Go out into the world and do a documentary about a local hero, or do a drawing of the place you played outside when you were young, or write a script with a friend in the coffee place in town. Decide to live in a world where you get to decide when to be creative, when you get to truly express some part of who you are. Because that stuff is going to have a little piece of magic every single time. You don't need big cameras, you don't need perfect sound equipment, you don't need the newest Mac. Most of all, all you need, is you.

Care to share?

Friday, 4 June 2010

Dawson's Creek - Ruined My Life?

I still live my life like every girl I meet is a potential Joey Potter, I still feel like any problems with my friends will be resolved come the end of the day with some tender piano background music and some soul-searching, I still feel Dawson-like passion for film is enough in this industry, I still feel like the conversations I have with people are full of meaning and relevance to our lives, I still feel like I am not-the-cool-kid-but-am-kind-of-cool-in-the-slightly-different-way-like-Dawson-Pacey-Joey-Jen-Jack, I still feel like people generally look for the good side in others, I still believe my friends would jump into a pool randomly just for the fun of it, I still expect cute girls to climb in my window, despite my window not having the capacity for such an event, I still convince myself my female friends believe in me the way Joey believes in Dawson/Pacey, I still watch this damn show and more than ten years have gone by.


DID DAWSON'S CREEK FUCK ME UP FOR LIFE? Please help.

For those of you in the mood for some Creek-nostalgia, or if you want to be messed up psychologically for life, please watch.

Care to share?

Friday, 15 January 2010

Reclaiming Life.

I'm gonna slow down on the posting front for a bit. My thirteen year old cousin recently said to me, having seen my DVD's, posters, and lifestyle -- he said, "you're just one big film really, aren't you." That says it all really.

The good thing about being a Director is that, when you complete a film, you have the opportunity to let it do your work for you for a few months. As your film gets accepted at a few festivals - exhibited in various places, and you push it around online, too - things tick over, you appear productive. This, if you're wise, is an opportunity to experience some other things in this wonderful opportunity known as life. If you're dumb, like me, you get straight back to writing and planning your next shoot.

I'm returning to the living, for a while. But I'll be around.

Meanwhile, I'd love to have some guest bloggers - particularly if they have some fun stories about being a Kid In The Front Row, something about the innocent joy of the cinema. So if you write anything, please email me.

Care to share?

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

I wish Jimmy Stewart was still making movies.


"I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then, I'm comin' back here to go to college and see what they know. And then I'm gonna build things. I'm gonna build airfields, I'm gonna build skyscrapers a hundred stories high, I'm gonna build bridges a mile long... "
-George Bailey

Care to share?

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Box Of Chocolates.

It's funny how the world works. You can be having the very best time of your life - but someone, somewhere else, is in downfall. It can be someone you know, or someone you don't know, I guess it really doesn't matter. But somewhere between living and dying, we're all going to travel around the wheel. There's something scary about that, but there's something really beautiful about it too.

And you look back at your life - there are the times you got the girl, the times you stayed up all night with new friends, the time you travelled to warmer climates, and there are the times you didn't get the girl, the times you sat by someone's bed-side as they slipped away, there are times you were stuck inside yourself with no idea how you would get out and do anything with your life.

I guess this is when a lot of people try to figure out the meaning of life, or look to God, or whatever. God can exist or not exist, life can be meaningless or important, either way-- we're on this big wheel that goes round and round until it runs out of energy. At any given moment, you can be flying high, it's all champagne, flowers and parties. But one more spin and it's smashed cars, broken dreams and day turning into night.

Sometimes it really jumps out and hits you -- you can be facing a moment that is literally life or death, and you turn to your closest friend, and they're trying to figure out which dress to wear to the party. But one year later, you're holidaying in Jamaica with your new wife, and that friend of yours is in a wheelchair now, and she doesn't quite feel confident enough to get back into a dress just yet. There's something really profound about noticing that polarity, and it doesn't really happen when you're stuck in your head, in your home, worrying about why your broadband isn't working, or being disturbed by how late the bus is. It only comes when you're faced with true life - when you're at the height of happiness or the depths of despair.

And that's what I find quietly beautiful about it all. Sometimes, a joke shared at someones hospital bed might be the funniest thing you ever hear. And you wouldn't have laughed like that if you were sat at home arguing on a forum about iPhone apps. And you realize, that car crash, that cancer, that break-up, whatever it is - it holds a lot more gold than pretty much everything else.

Your life is going to cycle. If you're laying on a beach, or buzzing around the streets of New York -- make sure you enjoy it. Life is to be enjoyed, and you deserve as many amazing experiences as you can find. Don't fear those bad times slipping in, because they're part of the tapestry of the wheel. I'm not saying you should 'be positive' like some cheesy self-help book; but even if the worst imaginable thing has happened, keep your eyes open, because some spark of life and magic can be found in the most subtle of things. And when life turns to shit, you notice the gold amongst the mud, that's where the silver lining is.

I guess what I'm saying is, whichever side of the wheel you're on - the other side is waiting for you; so if it's going to come, you may as well welcome it.

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."
-Forrest Gump

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