Your INNER CRITIC - Change The Conversation!

The people we meet, companies we work for and institutions we come into contact with; they all play their part in rejecting us and judging us.

But most of it is done on an inner level by ourselves.

It happens when you write a genius script for a month until you wake up one morning convinced it sucks. Or when you're driving to an audition for a role you were born to play when you suddenly realise you're a pathetic actor.

Ever notice how much authority you give your inner critic? It's an all knowing God!

Except that it's not. The critic is your biggest fears multiplied by 500. Makes you think of the time you messed up on stage when you were 7, or when your school teacher said your writing was 'too basic'.

That was then and this is now. The crap you got from the world became internalised and now you're your own worst enemy.

The thing to realise about the inner critic is that it's not fact. Your inner critic isn't Spielberg or Meryl Streep, it's just a vulnerable part of you desperate not to be stranded, naked, and pointed at.

Hear what your critic says, but realise it's just one viewpoint. It's not a fact.

Your critic will say: "you suck! You have no talent, you're ugly, and you've lost something over the years".

You wouldn't let me say that to you. If your friends or family said it you'd be deeply offended -- so why say it to yourself? Why believe it? How can you be creative when you put yourself down so much?

You can't. There needs to be love. You've achieved lots. You've decided to be an artist in a world that only cares about city bankers and reality show contestants. You're brave. You have talent and you know it, so don't ever let your inner critic sabotage you. You're too good, too talented.

Perfection is impossible. Your critic only wants you to write when you have a masterpiece. That's impossible. You can't ever make a masterpiece on purpose.

A masterpiece is when a project, by hard work and luck, has less mistakes than all the others.

But you have to be willing to make mistakes.

You're not perfect. Artists aren't meant to be. We just step out the front door and create, do some hard work and have fun.

Stop stopping yourself. Your critic is not an expert. It's just scared. Tell your critic to take a break, or to give you constructive thoughts rather then condemnation.

Make art!

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Film Watching Guilt

The key to this business, aside from having a rich Uncle with a Jewish surname who lives in LA, is to watch a lot of movies. The more you watch, the more you understand storytelling. The more you watch, the more you get what it truly is to be a truthful actor. The more you watch, the more you understand what makes a truly great scene great. There is no end to this --- literally, if you watch three films today instead of two, you're going to learn more. We should be clambering to watch films all the time... waking up early to watch a DVD, glancing down at videos on your iPhone during long train journeys, and staying up two hours late to watch 'Shawshank Redemption' for the 9th time in two months. In fact, there was a time we were like this. But then, we started listening to this.

UNCLE FRED
Is that all you do, sit around watching movies all day?

GIRLFRIEND JENNY
Couldn't you do something more productive instead? Like WORK?

JED
You've seen that already.

MICHAEL THE FLORIST
How's it going sitting at home watching your little movies?

BERT WHO HATES HIS JOB
Stop watching movies and actually do something with your life.

Before you know it -- every time you watch a film, you hear a voice saying "get up! do something! write a script! earn some money! be productive!" Despite all of your youth being incredibly enlightening and productive and inspiring and driving you towards your SOLE GOAL in life - to CREATE, instead; you start smashing up against it--- building a giant wall the size of a giant wall which stops you from ever settling. You start to sneak past the wall late at night, when it's late enough to not be 'the time people do productive things' but not so late that you look like 'someone who can stay up late because they're a waster' and you sneakily watch a film. But even then, you struggle, because this voice in your head is saying "is that all you do, watch movies? you waster!"

So now your Uncle and the florist and the guy who hates his job and his life and his wife; they all are in your head and they're telling you to stop watching movies. So you have this big giant wall the size of a big giant wall and you keep climbing over it onto both sides... every time you're watching a movie the voice says "BE PRODUCTIVE! DO SOMETHING!" so you climb over to the other side. And every time you're on that side there's a part of you that says "I love movies! I need movies! Movies are my everything!" -- so you climb to the other side. But you keep climbing and you keep feeling TIRED because somehow you've got caught between who you are, where you're going, and where everyone thinks you need to be.

If you write, or direct, or produce, or act, or dream, or design, or want to take a different route in life; then watching movies is absolutely essential. We are here, precisely, to WATCH movies, LEARN from movies and then CREATE movies. That's why we're here. Stop denying it, celebrate it. To watch movies is to be productive. To watch movies is to jump fifty steps towards your ultimate goal in life. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

"It enters through a different opening in your body. For instance, in order to be a jazz musician, you have to listen and listen and listen to a lot of Jazz. And that's an act of love. You don't think, I'm listening to study it. You just listen because you love it. And you love it, and love it... and gradually you learn. You really learn everything valuable through osmosis. It's the same with play-writing or movie-directing or acting. You love either reading or watching films or plays or listening to music. And in some way, over the years, without making any attempt, it gets into your blood, into the fibre of your body or something. If you want to teach someone film-directing, you could almost say, 'just keep going to the movies, and it will pass into your body."

-Woody Allen
Writer/Director
Three Time Academy Award Winner.

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Self-Confidence & The Importance Of Your Work In The World.

In my previous post I asked people to talk about what projects they're working on, why they're important in the world, what obstacles they are facing, and when the projects will be completed. First of all, it has been wonderful to learn about everyone's projects-- it's inspiring and exciting. I can't wait to see them all (and to those of you who posted completed projects, I will check them out very soon.)

There were some very interesting things to observe when people were talking about their projects; many of them have similar patterns. They are patterns that are common in creative people; and I think just naming them and having awareness around them can be helpful.

1. When talking about what 'project' they are working on - people often name 2, or 4, or 9 projects. Or even more, endless amounts..

2. People don't see why their projects are important in the world.

3. People lack confidence.

4. People don't set deadlines.

These are all linked. Paying more attention to each stage can really transform your creativity, and your confidence.

It is a common thing for creative people to jump from project to project. Even when you meet a sixteen year old just getting into filmmaking, they'll tell you nine different story ideas. They want to do them all. It's easier and cooler to say "I wanna do a Sci-Fi film, then do an action film, then do a Tarantino-ish thing...". It's very hard to stop, draw attention to one, and focus on it. To stand up and say, "I am making a Sci-fi film. It means the world to me."

In February, I completed a first draft of a feature. And then practically dismissed it -- and kept hunting around for a new project. In fact, I've spent many months spending ALL my energy on an endless pursuit, this giant urge for a new idea. I completely disregarded what I'd just written. This is something we all do. We work and work and then we dismiss. We never reap the benefits of our hard work, we never accept our wonderful achievements or recognize them, which leads to a........

..Lack Of Confidence. But first we should take comfort in realising: everyone is in the same boat. Everyone has self-doubt. Just look at the comments on the previous article. In the first question, people shared their wonderful, exciting ideas. Two questions later, they were hiding behind their blocks, inner-critics, and lacking creative juices. We have this miraculous ability to slam the door shut on our creativity and excitement and make it hard for ourselves. Take comfort in the fact that we all do this. I write blogs, and then - moments later, have crippling fear that I've written a load of bullshit and nobody will give a crap. A few days back, I spent a whole day watching and then writing about Forrest Gump. For hours, there were no responses: and I completely lost confidence in my writing, blogging, knowledge of Forrest Gump, reason for existence, etc etc--- and I am pretty sure none of you would have imagined that of me. We all have it - the confidence and belief waivers. The only thing we can make sure we do, is STAY IN THE GAME. Keep working.

Sometimes every Facebook poke, every browse of Google News, every cup of coffee--- they're just these little slices of lacking self-belief; we convince ourselves we need a coffee or need to check the news before we work on our projects. The truth is, we are desperate for those distractions. Anything to keep us from the giant, full of failure careers that are waiting for us. At some point, the truth dawns: this is the reason it's failing. Three hours of chatting to Mary Frumpley on Facebook about her Niece's health problems is not conducive to your productivity, to your projects, to your success. Confidence comes from being in the room, in the zone, in the chair, in the project.

Your project has a place in the world. If you're making a three minute short film about trash cans-- it may seem pointless and just for laughs- but truth is, what you're making, it's saying something you want in the world. The message might be, 'don't take life too seriously', it might be 'life is pointless so let's throw everything away' -- who knows. Whatever it is, there is some part of you, your brain, your heart, your humor, or something--- there is some part of you that you want to get out into the world. It's that part of you that makes friends, that has connections, that responds to music-- it's that part of you that is your essence, it's where your magic lies. That needs to be out there in the world. Even if your project is 'making a chess board' - there's still a reason why the world needs that. Maybe you're mourning the loss of game players to the internet age, maybe you remember as a kid how chess brought your family together. Whatever it is, you can be less alone and less narcissistic about your project when you realize; it isn't just yours. It's for the world. Who you are, what you're about and what you're doing have a place in the world.

Think about it. Find it. Get excited about it. It will give you confidence.

Your OBSTACLES will begin to change -- it's important that you focus on one thing at a time. Spielberg or Soderbergh might be able to jump from idea to idea, genre to genre, but even they can't do them all at once. Don't be afraid to focus on one thing: nobody will think you're any less productive. And even if they do, it doesn't matter-- because you WILL be more productive by dedicating yourself to one thing. Do one thing, and do it amazingly - and your self-belief will begin to grow as you really get in touch with why you wanted to do it in the first place.

Set a deadline! This is so important. Next week on Thursday; Thursday will just be Thursday, like all the other Thursday's. Maybe you'll work on your script, maybe you'll get new headshots, maybe you'll phone that scary person who might be able to help with financing your project. Maybe. Or, you could definitely do those things. A 'definite' will only happen if you make concrete plans. I know you're busy next Thursday, you have work, then you have to look after the kids, then you have to fill in your tax form and then you need to cook dinner and then you need to get sleep and then you need to get rid of your horrible flu. But you also NEED to work on your project. MILLIONS OF TALENTED CREATIVE PEOPLE PROCRASTINATE AND WAIT EVERY SINGLE DAY. You will be different, you will succeed; by the mere act of participating, by setting goals and working towards them.

And then when everything is done, you can take a short rest: safe in the knowledge you did everything you could, every time you had a chance.

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Let Your Inner Critic Do The Work

Your inner-critic, or your block, or whatever you want to call it -- he may call at the beginning of a screenplay, or in the middle, or months before you even get to the page. You never get to the page because there's a voice telling you that you suck. That you're talentless. That your script is bland/pointless/retarded/not-ready, etc.

And we take this voice to be the voice of God, most of the time. It talks, we stop. This inner-voice, it's a voice inside of you that believes it knows better. Whether this inner-critic turned up because of your parents, or a teacher, or because of the environment you're in or because you're just damn sure that hating yourself is the way to go; whatever the reasons, there is something you can do when the big ole' critic monster stops you. You can hand over the pen.

If there's a voice in my head that tells me "You're awful! Your ideas are cliche! Your characters are bland!" Well, then it sounds like this dude knows his stuff. So I've found a useful thing to do is to literally give him the pen.

As you're writing--- your critic may say..

Your characters aren't doing anything interesting.
You are not really a writer.
Wouldn't you be better off just browsing pictures of Sally Stinley on Facebook?
You're an idiot!
You need a real job. Everyone knows it. Everyone knows you're not a writer.
No-one will watch this.

If my critic was saying that, I would see that my inner-critic-monster-madman is a) PERSISTENT (with capitals), b) Clearly clued up on what a great script should be, c) Better than me.

Now of course, if you read any self-help-guru-new-age thingy on inner critics, or if you're in therapy, of course, you're not meant to believe your inner-critic is better than you, that would be pretty suicidal, literally. But for this exercise, go with me. Your critic is a persistent know-it-all who thinks he's better than you.

SO GIVE HIM YOUR KEYBOARD! Let the critic write.

a) Close your eyes - really feel that critical voice in your head.
b) Start saying things in his voice, become the voice, access that part of you.
c) Really let rip - scream about how talentless and pathetic you are.
d) Notice your body language - maybe act out this critic whilst looking in the mirror.
e) You will notice a confident person, with a body posture different to you, possibly quite intimidating.
f) Keep throwing those insults at yourself; but from the point of view of your inner-critic-madman.
g) Realise that this critic dude sure has persistence.
h) Decide whether this persistence is something that could aide you in your writing, maybe it's something you've been missing.
i) Now that you've accessed the critical maniac inside of you, now you really feel him, let him WRITE.
j) See what comes out! See what ends up on the page.

One of two things will happen.

a) The work will be genius -- The inner-critic is just a part of you that protects you. He's just a persistent worrier. If the work is genius, it's because you've turned his negativity into creativity.

b) The writing will STINK - In which case, from now on, you can tell your inner critic to SHUT UP because he has NO AUTHORITY OVER YOU AS HIS WRITING IS AWFUL!

After all this, take a breather. Maybe have a cup of tea. And when you're done, write up some ground rules for your inner critic.

a) If you have problems with my writing, you will tell me in a calm and friendly manner.
b) You are not allowed to insult me, only express concern and then ideas of how to improve.
c) If I am busy writing, please don't insult me mid-flow. Grab some crayons and do yourself some drawings. I'll let you know when I'm free.

Don't get taken over by your inner critic. Just realize it's a part of you, a part that isn't as authority and important as it likes to think.

One last thing you can do with your inner critic is have a laugh with it. Next time you feel that pressure in your head; as your stomach feels funny and the self-doubt creeps in as the voice says "you are not very good, people think you're awful" -- reply to the voice with "Excuse me, how would you feel if I spoke to you like that?" or "Who said you can speak?" Or even "take the day off!"

My inner-critic is telling me that this post is awful, that I'll be ridiculed. Maybe he's right, or maybe he just feels threatened.

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