Self-Confidence & The Importance Of Your Work In The World.

In my previous post I asked people to talk about what projects they're working on, why they're important in the world, what obstacles they are facing, and when the projects will be completed. First of all, it has been wonderful to learn about everyone's projects-- it's inspiring and exciting. I can't wait to see them all (and to those of you who posted completed projects, I will check them out very soon.)

There were some very interesting things to observe when people were talking about their projects; many of them have similar patterns. They are patterns that are common in creative people; and I think just naming them and having awareness around them can be helpful.

1. When talking about what 'project' they are working on - people often name 2, or 4, or 9 projects. Or even more, endless amounts..

2. People don't see why their projects are important in the world.

3. People lack confidence.

4. People don't set deadlines.

These are all linked. Paying more attention to each stage can really transform your creativity, and your confidence.

It is a common thing for creative people to jump from project to project. Even when you meet a sixteen year old just getting into filmmaking, they'll tell you nine different story ideas. They want to do them all. It's easier and cooler to say "I wanna do a Sci-Fi film, then do an action film, then do a Tarantino-ish thing...". It's very hard to stop, draw attention to one, and focus on it. To stand up and say, "I am making a Sci-fi film. It means the world to me."

In February, I completed a first draft of a feature. And then practically dismissed it -- and kept hunting around for a new project. In fact, I've spent many months spending ALL my energy on an endless pursuit, this giant urge for a new idea. I completely disregarded what I'd just written. This is something we all do. We work and work and then we dismiss. We never reap the benefits of our hard work, we never accept our wonderful achievements or recognize them, which leads to a........

..Lack Of Confidence. But first we should take comfort in realising: everyone is in the same boat. Everyone has self-doubt. Just look at the comments on the previous article. In the first question, people shared their wonderful, exciting ideas. Two questions later, they were hiding behind their blocks, inner-critics, and lacking creative juices. We have this miraculous ability to slam the door shut on our creativity and excitement and make it hard for ourselves. Take comfort in the fact that we all do this. I write blogs, and then - moments later, have crippling fear that I've written a load of bullshit and nobody will give a crap. A few days back, I spent a whole day watching and then writing about Forrest Gump. For hours, there were no responses: and I completely lost confidence in my writing, blogging, knowledge of Forrest Gump, reason for existence, etc etc--- and I am pretty sure none of you would have imagined that of me. We all have it - the confidence and belief waivers. The only thing we can make sure we do, is STAY IN THE GAME. Keep working.

Sometimes every Facebook poke, every browse of Google News, every cup of coffee--- they're just these little slices of lacking self-belief; we convince ourselves we need a coffee or need to check the news before we work on our projects. The truth is, we are desperate for those distractions. Anything to keep us from the giant, full of failure careers that are waiting for us. At some point, the truth dawns: this is the reason it's failing. Three hours of chatting to Mary Frumpley on Facebook about her Niece's health problems is not conducive to your productivity, to your projects, to your success. Confidence comes from being in the room, in the zone, in the chair, in the project.

Your project has a place in the world. If you're making a three minute short film about trash cans-- it may seem pointless and just for laughs- but truth is, what you're making, it's saying something you want in the world. The message might be, 'don't take life too seriously', it might be 'life is pointless so let's throw everything away' -- who knows. Whatever it is, there is some part of you, your brain, your heart, your humor, or something--- there is some part of you that you want to get out into the world. It's that part of you that makes friends, that has connections, that responds to music-- it's that part of you that is your essence, it's where your magic lies. That needs to be out there in the world. Even if your project is 'making a chess board' - there's still a reason why the world needs that. Maybe you're mourning the loss of game players to the internet age, maybe you remember as a kid how chess brought your family together. Whatever it is, you can be less alone and less narcissistic about your project when you realize; it isn't just yours. It's for the world. Who you are, what you're about and what you're doing have a place in the world.

Think about it. Find it. Get excited about it. It will give you confidence.

Your OBSTACLES will begin to change -- it's important that you focus on one thing at a time. Spielberg or Soderbergh might be able to jump from idea to idea, genre to genre, but even they can't do them all at once. Don't be afraid to focus on one thing: nobody will think you're any less productive. And even if they do, it doesn't matter-- because you WILL be more productive by dedicating yourself to one thing. Do one thing, and do it amazingly - and your self-belief will begin to grow as you really get in touch with why you wanted to do it in the first place.

Set a deadline! This is so important. Next week on Thursday; Thursday will just be Thursday, like all the other Thursday's. Maybe you'll work on your script, maybe you'll get new headshots, maybe you'll phone that scary person who might be able to help with financing your project. Maybe. Or, you could definitely do those things. A 'definite' will only happen if you make concrete plans. I know you're busy next Thursday, you have work, then you have to look after the kids, then you have to fill in your tax form and then you need to cook dinner and then you need to get sleep and then you need to get rid of your horrible flu. But you also NEED to work on your project. MILLIONS OF TALENTED CREATIVE PEOPLE PROCRASTINATE AND WAIT EVERY SINGLE DAY. You will be different, you will succeed; by the mere act of participating, by setting goals and working towards them.

And then when everything is done, you can take a short rest: safe in the knowledge you did everything you could, every time you had a chance.

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Shutting My Mouth And Getting The Job Done.

I have always been a do-er, when it comes to my career. Most people who know me know I am quite prolific when in comes to producing work and having ideas. But that being said -- I still often find that I'm not really doing the work. I remember, years ago, I used to moan about the lack of opportunities for upcoming screenwriters in the industry, even though I'd never written a feature. Likewise, I'd often moan about the difficulties of shooting on zero-budgets even though I'd never attempted to get funding. Over the years; I've become much better at doing the work.

Due to a variety of factors:- i.e. growing up, reading interesting books, unexpected opportunities, people dying, etc-- I started to look at things a lot more deeply and found myself really interested in psychology, and in creativity; I guess -- the psychology of creativity. And in the last year or so, I've gotten very good at being able to sit down with friends; writers, actors, etc-- and been able to really help them with writers block, self-esteem issues, resentment towards 'the industry', etc, often working on interesting issues and making a difference in quite a profound way. Unfortunately, after a while - it becomes a kind of schtick. I sit there, in a coffee house with a friend, spouting stuff about how to deal with inner critics, how to always be ready to write, etc; meanwhile, time would pass and I WASN'T ACTUALLY DOING ANYTHING.

And I hate people like that, people who swallow a psychology book and then start rambling about how the key to something is in the unconscious of some subconscious thing that is based on the ego of a tree and aligned with Neptune, or whatever; and I don't want to become one of those...

...But then again, as I write this -- feeling like I haven't been doing the work; if you asked people who know me, they'd probably say I have. This year I've I've written a feature screenplay, am starting a new one right now, I've got my short films into some festivals, I've interviewed one of my favorite writers (come back here next week to see!), I've consistently written this blog, and won an award for it; I've facilitated, filmed and edited in schools; doing work that is improving the lives of really at risk kids (behaviorally); I've actually done quite a bit.

So what am I talking about? On the one hand, I feel like I often let things slide without doing enough. But then again; what more could I have done?

"Now I have already mentioned that there was a disturbance in my heart, a voice that spoke there and said, I want, I want, I want! It happened every afternoon, and when I tried to suppress it got even stronger. It said only one thing, I want, I want!"
-From the book 'Henderson The Rain King' (Saul Bellow)
I guess what I am really getting at -- is laziness. The kind of laziness where an actor asks for their showreel footage and three weeks later, I haven't sent it. Eventually, I say, "It's in the post," and then four days later, I put it in the post. It's that kind of thing. It's that little part of me that is quietly, subtly lazy; like a kid who never really cleans their room, or a friend who never quite makes it to the party.

I feel, right now, that I need to focus more. I need to act on everything as it happens. Answer the calls, finish the scripts, research the things I need to research; basically, I just need to do all the things I do, but do them more precisely, professionally, and consistently. Do I make any sense? I hope so.

I've always believed that this industry isn't particularly hard to achieve a lot in, despite what everyone says. I think there are very few people who, when it comes down to it, will turn up for a shoot in a field in the freezing cold at 5am, and do it for three months solid for virtually no money.

Likewise, there are very few actors who take the pain of rejection, learn from it, understand their part in it, and come back stronger again, and again, and again-- there are very few writers who write the 10th draft, of their fifteenth screenplay, after being rejected or, worse--- being oh-so-close to major success before being dumped in the waste. THAT is doing the work; persistence:--- consistent, unwavering, absolute persistence and dedication, time and again, day after day.

That's me, from now on. Are you with me?

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