COUNTING CROWS - The Band That Changed My Life

I'd never heard anything like it before. I never knew it was possible. I didn't know you could put that much emotion into what you do. I still don't think anybody else has ever come close.

The fear that you'll never find the love of your life is a terrifying one. But even worse: what if you never find the band of your life? Genuinely, I don't know what I would have done without Counting Crows. They gave me a new angle on life. They painted the way for how I would value myself as an artist, about what it would all mean to me. How many people can you say that about?

The records are incredible, and I insist you listen to all of them. But the Crows are a live band. What I love as a writer, director and even a viewer of films is rawness, realness, spontaneity. And that's also what I always loved about music, but it was so hard to find. And then I found Counting Crows. 

You know what? Sometimes they SUCK! Sometimes Adam Duritz, the lead singer, is miserable, depressed, and just not on it. But it's FASCINATING! It's REAL! He just gets up onto the stage and pours his heart out in front of you. Occasionally you get fooled into thinking it's just a shtick, but then he'll come out bouncing and be wild and hilarious -- other times he won't talk to the audience but they'll do a seventeen minute version of a rare song with a bit of a Springsteen cover thrown into the middle -- and you're just blown away. Counting Crows don't paint over anything, there's no front, it's just them. 

Listen to this. Stop reading, dim the lights. Give 12 minutes of your life to this. You might love it, you might cry, you might think it sucks. But by the end you'll definitely have an opinion, and that's more than you can say for so much that passes for music these days.



That song changed my life. I got obsessed with 'Round Here'. I have, literally, hundreds of versions. I remember seeing them live in Ireland, it must've been eight or ten years ago, and they did 'Round Here', and it was heartbreaking. That was until the middle of the song, when they broke it down, changed it up, and launched into the Van Morrison song 'Sweet Thing', and it was electrifying and joyful! At the end of the song they swerved back into 'Round Here'. Incredible. You think you know a song inside out, but then Counting Crows take it and reinvent it and your whole perception of everything changes. 

Even if they sing 'Rain King' with Springsteen's 'Thunder Road' mixed in for five nights in a row -- even that is spontaneous-- because one night they'll do the whole song, other nights Adam will just hint at the lyrics for five seconds then dive off into another song -- or maybe they'll do the whole thing acoustic and Adam will do some weird talking-screaming-poetic-rambling thing for eleven minutes. Probably sounds horrendous if you're not a fan -- but for those that are, it's EVERYTHING.

I don't know any band that takes you so far into the very MOMENT that you're experiencing. They make you aware you're LIVING. I've wanted to write this post for three years, but how the hell do you explain the things you love?

Here's a stripped down version that they did on the Howard Stern show a few years ago. Just Adam and a few band members.




When do you ever hear something like THAT on the RADIO? It never happens! WHAT? That level of emotion and truth? They're not phoning it in, they're IN IT. It's so refreshing - artists who are FREE to be themselves. With Counting Crows it is ALL about expression. You feel it in every thing that every band member does.

Sure, they do it for a living, and they got very rich. But it would have been so easy for them to go on auto-pilot. But they take risks. They dropped the label and went independent so they could control their art. They play giant venues, they tour tiny venues. They come up with crazy ideas like the Travelling Circus and Medicine Show, and Adam's project with Ryan from Ryan's Smashing Life blog, The Outlaw Roadshow.

They're great with the fans, too. I've been at festivals, turned around and seen Jim Bogios and David Immerglück (band members) standing behind me. And you go to awkwardly say hello, just cause you're a loser fanboy, and then they stick around and talk to you for thirty minutes about all their favourite bands. With Duritz, I've always sensed he's a bit like Woody Allen -- awkward with the crowds and would prefer to not have his picture taken - but he is always polite and always suffers it. He knows it's about the fans, he knows how much they care; so he puts in the time and effort.

But his place is really on the stage. He'll come out at the beginning and do a solo piano song, which is a cover of some track he found on the bootleg of a copy of an album of a band you've never heard of who only ever recorded six demo's, 24 years ago, yet somehow his performance is the greatest thing you've ever heard. It's just incredible.

Here's a song that was only ever played once. This is the only recording. I'm pretty sure Duritz made it up about thirty minutes before the show. The emotion just knocks your socks off. Makes me think of every girl I ever saw leave. Heartbreaking.




How the hell does he do that? Is it talent? Did he get dropped on the head as a child? Incredible.

Counting Crows are rough, raw, temperamental, moody, genius, depressing, uplifting, boring, exhilarating. It's years later and still they're my favourite band by a long long way. You have to see them live, there's nothing like it.




Their new album, 'Underwater Sunshine (Or What We did On Our Summer Vacation)' was released today. Head over to their website to check it out.

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Three Songs

Not only is Tom Petty one of the great heroes of rock n' roll, but he's still out there doing it - and there's an energy and soul to his live songs that is so rare, especially for someone who's been doing it for so long. This song is amazing, and the way the crowd join in at the end is heavenly!

Music from New Orleans breaks my heart. Here is Davell Crawford, singing 'Louisiana 1927.' My heart is broken before he even begins singing!

This is a live version of a Counting Crows Song, 'Rain King' - filmed by an audience member at a concert a couple of weeks back. If the bad camera work bugs you - then just skip to 2:10.. when a 12 year old boy, Michael Weber, is handed an electric guitar and then goes on to steal the show. Incredible! This is what music is about! This is what life is about!! I could watch this again and again. This is a Kid In The Front Row if ever there was one. Wow wow wow.

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Sing A Song For Me.

"The bus is running,
it's time to leave,
the summer's gone,
and so are we."
This song, this version of this song, is exactly how I feel today.

Counting Crows - Miami (acoustic)


How do you feel? Youtube links in the comments please!

"If you knew everything,
If you could see everything before it happened,
then what would you do?
If you knew that the love you threw away,
that it meant everything to her,
If you knew that you could ruin her,
then what would you do?"

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Facebook Fan Page.

I now have a Facebook Fan Page - which you can join HERE

And for those of you who use Twitter, please follow me/tweet me and whatever else it is twitter people do at:

http://twitter.com/kidinfrontrow

And here's a song for you to listen too. It's exactly how I feel right now.

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Fuck Your Christmas.

My favourite Christmas song is by Counting Crows. It doesn't officially have a name, as far as I know, and it's never been recorded. You're only likely to know the song if you are one of about nine people who collect Counting Crows bootlegs, or if you've ever been lucky enough to hear this at a show.

The Crows have a song called 'Goodnight Elizabeth' - a beautifully poetic and painful song -- when they play it at live shows; it morphs into these eleven minute versions where anything can happen in the middle. The song used to be played in a pretty standard way from 1993 through to 2000, and then it began growing into the thing it is today; a versatile song that can offer up a million different things, it just depends what mood you catch Adam Duritz in when he hits the stage. There are many incredible versions of the song; with him singing all sorts of things in the middle. Versions that come to mind have him singing Van Morrison's 'Sweet Thing' in the middle, or 'California Dreamin'' by the Mamas and Papa's (you can hear this on Youtube, if you look up 'Goodnight Elizabeth Pinkpop').

But it's not those versions that I'm talking about. It's the Christmas version which often comes up in concerts as the year is heading to a close and, I guess, the lead singer is beginning to reminisce of love gone by and the Holiday season approaching.

The beautiful piano work of Charlie Gillingham breaks down the middle of the song as the guitars take a back seat... and up steps Adam to begin telling his tale of woe about Christmas. Sometimes the song is angry, sometimes it's mournful, sometimes it's plain poetic. Sometimes you just can't tell. The good thing is, whenever he does dive into 'Fuck Your Christmas' - he really means it. I don't think he could fake it if he tried.

He talks a lot before and during the song at live shows about how the song (Goodnight Elizabeth) is about a girl he knew back when the band were first getting big-- they dated, it was a big deal - and as he began touring, they began hitting problems, and she was gone by Thanksgiving.

And the song (Fuck Your Christmas, in the middle part of 'Goodnight Elizabeth'), as you'll hear quite plainly from the lyrics, is about him struggling to come to terms with things at Christmas. And the painful truth of the song is that he knows he's not going to be with the girl he loves, but at the same time, he doesn't want to be alone, he's not going to be alone, he can't be alone. It's pretty painful. Luckily, this isn't the most painful version - in fact, he doesn't even say fuck in this clip.

I guess it's Christmas coming down,

I don't wanna go back home,

If I'm not gonna be with you,

I don't wanna be alone.

I guess it's Christmas coming down,

I don't wanna go back home,

If I'm not gonna be with you,

Then I don't wanna be alone.

Screw your Christmas coming down,

I ain't gonna go back home,

I don't wanna be with you,

And I'm not gonna sleep alone.

I don't wanna-- I don't wanna sleep alone.

I don't wanna go home.

I don't wanna go home.

What's amazing is how he takes this already perfect song, 'Goodnight Elizabeth' and adds a whole new level of meaning to it. So, yeah. This is my favourite Christmas song. Other than this, it's 'River' - but I'm feeling less like 'River' this year, which is a good thing, surely.

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The Flames Of My Wasted Life.

I was sixteen years old, and everyone was saying "You've got to do A Levels. If you don't do A Levels, you won't get anywhere with your life." And even then, I knew it was strange, because people who had done A Levels were being told, "You have to do a degree. If you don't do a degree, you won't get anywhere with your life." Which is weird, because now they say to people "If you don't have a Masters Degree, you won't get anywhere with your life." Of course, I never knew where it was I was meant to be getting with my life. Certainly, nobody took seriously the notion that I wanted to be a Film Director. But then, that's fine, because at the time - I didn't take it seriously either. In our school systems, there is no support for creativity. I say that without hesitation. I was actively talked out of my writing interest in school. Nobody had ever sat me down and said "create something; it's brilliant when people create things." It was always, "Your Science homework is due tomorrow. Get it done."

I wasn't good at science. I wasn't much good at anything. But I did stay on to do 'A Levels.' But don't get excited-- I only stayed for two weeks. I don't even remember the subjects I chose. One of them was Media Studies, that thing where you sit there making stuff up like "The green coloring of Buzz Lightyear is a metaphor for the decay of society and is symbolic of aubergines." So, I knew deep inside that A Levels were not for me. And then everyone was saying, "well, you gotta get a job, you gotta earn some money, you gotta make a living." So I got a job as an office junior for a Quantity Surveying company. I didn't know what Quantity Surveying was (I still don't), but I forged ahead with my little job and the most depressing period of my life. Don't get me wrong, I've had years that were much tougher, where life really threw curve balls - but being 17 was tough because I had a terrible job, no goals, and nothing seemed to be on the horizon. And there were no girls. Well, I'm sure there were, just not in my life.

I remember in a very exact way that I went to a lot of gigs when I was 17. I guess it was a survival thing. Depressing, awful job by day, but gigs by night. I would love to pretend I was some cool rock kid, but I was seeing acts like Vonda Shepard, John Mayer, Ryan Adams, etc-- it was all Americana-ish, alt-rock blandity. But I don't mean to put it down - this is something I am learning to stand up for more, it's the music I love. I make no apologies. Anyways, the music became this incredibly important thing to me. It offered an alternative world to the one of moving boxes from storage space to storage space, and talking boring office talk to colleagues. I guess day by day it would build up and build up - my deep interest in music. I think I'm only realising the relevance of music to my life then, as I think about it now, many years later.

Somewhere inside of me, this feeling was bubbling up. The feeling that I wanted to do something with my life. I wanted to be a writer. A film director. Even then, I was aware that you don't make great films by moving boxes around storage units, but I didn't seem to possess the power or will to make the change. It was like a trigger was missing, some little thing that would put my life into gear, to give me perspective.

And then two things happened. One is because of Bruce Springsteen, and one is because of Counting Crows. But somewhere within those two events; the thing that was bubbling up finally came to fruition, the alchemy of my situation, my dreams, and my love for music. Here's how I remember it.

Bruce Springsteen announced a one off gig at Wembley Arena. And I guess I should tell you, I absolutely loved Bruce Springsteen. 'Thunder Road' was fast becoming my favorite song, and 'Born To Run' felt just like the bubbling, bubbling that'd been firing up inside of me. And 'Dancing In The Dark' was gaining in relevance.

I get up in the evening

and I ain't got nothing to say

I come home in the morning

I go to bed feeling the same way

I ain't nothing but tired

Man I'm just tired and bored with myself

Hey there baby, I could use just a little help

- Bruce Springsteen - Dancing In The Dark

So, I really wanted to go see The Boss live. But no-one would come with me. I asked all my friends. The collective response was, "the Born in the USA guy? No thanks." I made a very important decision. I decided to go by myself. Which shouldn't be a big deal, but for the lonely, worried little me, it was a big deal. It was confirmation that I was pathetic. This was supported by the build up to the event - culminating on me getting the train to the concert and feeling like a complete outsider. I didn't relate to my friends and I didn't really know why I was listening to Springsteen rather than, I dunno, whatever was popular at the time. So I was really miserable. I remember sitting in my seat, alone, at Wembley Arena. And I just felt--- so separated from everything, from everyone I knew. These things are so painful when you're 17.

And then Springsteen came on stage. And the music started.

What proceeded to happen was as near to a religious experience as I've ever had. I realized that I wasn't alone, I was with 12,000 of my closest friends. This wasn't just music, it a man who sang my dreams. His views on the world were the same as mine. There was a dream to be had and he was singin' it and chasin' it. I was truly transformed. I realized the reason I was there, at that gig, was because THAT WAS WHO I WAS. It is who I am. It is me. If everybody I knew who was going see Bruce Springsteen alone, and obsessing over his setlists and having this outrageously great experience, then I'd be just like everybody else. And being like everyone else wouldn't make me a very interesting writer. And it was like I GOT IT, right there, in that crap old tin of an arena.

I don't give a damn
For the same old played out scenes
I don't give a damn
For just the in betweens
Honey, I want the heart, I want the soul
I want control right now

Talk about a dream
Try to make it real
you wake up in the night
With a fear so real

Spend your life waiting
for a moment that just don't come
Well, don't waste your time waiting

Badlands, you gotta live it everyday
Let the broken hearts stand
As the price you've gotta pay
We'll keep pushin' till it's understood
and these badlands start treating us good

- Bruce Springsteen - Badlands

A week later; I was trying to figure out what that experience meant in relation to my career as a guy who re-alphabetizes an archiving system on a weekly basis. I remember very specifically being downstairs in the basement of the company I was working in. I was having a particularly hard time remembering the alphabet properly. Not because I'm dumb, but because I truly didn't give a shit.

Aside from Springsteen, my other obsession were Counting Crows. And this memory seems really cheesy now. But it happens to be true. I was down in the basement doing the archiving nonsense, moving 'N' nearer to 'B' and hiding 'L' just because I was a rebel. And the song 'A Murder Of One' by the Crows came into my head. And it really got a hold of me. I really began feeling the message of the song. I was enjoying it, it really felt alive. The words were really hitting me hard.

All your life is such a shame, shame, shame.
All your love is just a dream, dream, dream.
Open up your eyes.
You can see the flames, flames, flames of your wasted life.
You should be ashamed. Yeah, you don't want to waste your life, baby.
You don't wanna waste your life, now darlin.
You don't wanna waste your life, baby.

You don't wanna waste your life, now darlin.
Oh, you don't wanna waste your life, now baby.

I said you don't wanna waste your life, now darlin.
Oh, you don't wanna waste your life, now baby.
Oh, you don't wanna, you don't wanna waste your life, now darlin.

Change, change, change.
Change.Change.

Change.

- Counting Crows - A Murder Of One

It was the second of my transformations. It was so sudden. Shit, I really wish I had these epiphanies every day. It hit me that I am NOT an office junior, I am not someone who moves boxes around for a living. I had a burning desire in me to CHANGE. To be something. I fucking loved films; my obsessive watching them and thinking about them was for a reason. I couldn't deny it anymore, it was time to come out of the closet and declare, "I am a Writer! I am a Director!" - I didn't outwardly declare it like that, but I did tell myself, it was time to be confident in who I really was and to make it my life.

I handed in my resignation on a Tuesday. By the Friday, I was gone. And now I'm the Kid In The Front Row.

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust

Bruce Springsteen - Leap Of Faith

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